29 Lines to make you smile!

katcarasella · 03-29-2008, 08:30 AM

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't .

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them!

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up

18.. Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken .

24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!

DianaB · 03-29-2008, 09:17 AM

Too funny!!! I loved every one of them!!!!

Janet · 03-29-2008, 10:37 AM

Hilarious Kat!!! I loved 'em!

katcarasella · 03-29-2008, 03:25 PM

Glad you enjoyed them, it's hard trying to keep up with this crew, you've all got such great sense of humors, never a dull moment around here.

Gina · 03-29-2008, 04:16 PM

I love them all!

AngieDoogles · 03-30-2008, 01:18 PM

LOL! Those were great!!!

Janet · 03-30-2008, 01:43 PM

I sent this to so many people Kat. The ones I've heard back from loved it too! So funny!

Tink · 03-31-2008, 04:44 PM

ROFL Kat, I don't know how I missed this.
TOO funny!

03-29-2008, 08:30 AM	#1
katcarasella KAT'S KRAZY KORNER Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 3,031	29 Lines to make you smile! TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't . 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them! 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe 9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes 11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! 17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up 18.. Procrastinate Now! 19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken . 24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few! __________________ A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should. Kat

03-29-2008, 09:17 AM	#2
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	Too funny!!! I loved every one of them!!!! __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

03-29-2008, 10:37 AM	#3
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	Hilarious Kat!!! I loved 'em! __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

03-29-2008, 03:25 PM	#4
katcarasella KAT'S KRAZY KORNER Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Chicago Posts: 3,031	Glad you enjoyed them, it's hard trying to keep up with this crew, you've all got such great sense of humors, never a dull moment around here. __________________ A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should. Kat

03-30-2008, 01:18 PM	#6
AngieDoogles Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,509	LOL! Those were great!!! __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT

03-29-2008, 04:16 PM	#5
Gina Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,025	I love them all!

03-30-2008, 01:43 PM	#7
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	I sent this to so many people Kat. The ones I've heard back from loved it too! So funny! __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

03-31-2008, 04:44 PM	#8
Tink Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Rural Wisconsin Posts: 3,707	ROFL Kat, I don't know how I missed this. TOO funny! __________________ 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair'

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