I'm so stressed!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Carolyn

I'm so upset and mad. Yesterday my son gets off the school bus and tells me that an older boy and two girls were cursing at him, teasing him and making believe they were choking him. They didn't actually touch him but still. He said he kept telling them to stop but of course they didn't. I asked him what the bus driver was doing while all this was going on and he said she was driving. Okay now if I was the bus driver I would have pulled over told everyone to sit down or else we're not going anywhere. The thing is the older kids sit in the back of the bus and the younger kids in the front. Once the bus starts emptying the older kids move up but they're not supposed to. Everyone has assigned seats.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm very protective of my kids and my first reaction was I was going to find out the stop the kid is on and confront his mother, call her a crack ho and ask her what kind of monster she's raising. Hubby didn't think this was a good idea. So now I don't know whether to talk to the bus driver this morning or wait and see if it happens again on the way home. My son is very sweet and sensitive unlike my 6 year old daughter who would probably tell you to go to hell. I think that's why I'm like this with him.

My neighbors son was picked on last year on the bus and now she picks them up from school. I refuse to do that. I feel like it's giving in and I pay ALOT of taxes where I live and I don't want my kids sheltered.

I haven't had much luck with bus drivers. Rewind to last year. My neighbors kids and my son are getting off the bus. They're pushing and shoving and the bus driver screams on the top his lungs at my son and not the other kids to stop and made him cry. Okay that put me over the edge. I told him if he has a problem to let me know and I'd take care of it, not to yell at a 6 year old. This is the edited version. I called the transportation dept. and they reassigned that bus driver. Okay now the first week of school this year we had a bus driver who for some reason didn't stop at our stop. She would just drive past. My daughter was screaming that she passed our stop but she couldn't here her over the radio she had blasting. I had to race to the next stop to get them off the bus. Also the ONE time she did stop my son wasn't on the bus. She "accidentely" left him at school and she didn't know where he was. I was almost in tears and 10 minutes later they found him on another bus. Okay needless to say after our confrontation say she's not driving my kids anymore.

What is wrong with people! I told my son if they do it to just ignore them and not tell them to stop since that's what they want. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset. BUT I'm just afraid if I don't do anything it will escalate and possibly become physical. My son is a green belt in karate and does very well but at this age it doesn't matter if someone is older and stronger than you.

I'm at my wits end and have a knot in my stomach today. Sorry this is so long.

Carolyn...I'm afraid I'm going to have a long reply to your long post. I am a bus driver (have been for 6 years) and carry students from Kindergarten to 12th grade. Our first priority job as bus drivers is to get the students to and from school safely. Secondly, we are to keep order on the bus. Okay with that said...we, as bus drivers can not be looking in our rearview mirror constantly to see what is going on...we have to watch the road and all it's obstacles. Also, with our schools buses, the motor is up front or beside us and we can not hear everything, only the "loudness" of the students..not what is actually being said.

I run a very "tight" bus. I mail out a copy of the schools bus rules and add on the rules that I feel should be enforced. There is a place for parents to sign and return to me so that I know they have read the rules. Therefore they have no excuse for their child's behavior. One rule of mine is no child will ever have to ride the bus fearing ridicule, hararassment or embarassment.

Our rules are enforced the following way. First I will try to correct whatever bad behavior is happening. The second time I call their parents. Third time I write them up and turn it in to the office where the child is called in to speak with me and the Assist. Principal. She gives whatever punishment is warranted from a stern (scary) talking to , detention, and/or expulsion.

This morning I had a 9th grade male student calling a 8th grade female student a whore, said she "gets off" with a bottle, that she pays for sex, and that she was a co*k juggling whore. In this instance, it's way over the line in my book and I immediately wrote him up and escorted him to the office myself. He is expelled for 3 days at my request. He will also be sitting in the front row of the bus the rest of the year. I've always had problems with him and he's run out of any kind of consideration from me.

You should calmly talk with your driver, if it is not resolved, then go to your Assist. Principal. The bus coordinator really hasn't much of a say so, at least with our school, his job is to make sure the buses are running good, and taking care of the routes. It is the bus drivers job to handle the kids on the bus and take the appropriate action.

I will tell you that an irate parent gets little respect from me although I understand their frustration. We as bus drivers can not see and hear everything on the bus and unless we have actual eye witnesses to help, it's one kids word against the other.

I do really love the kids on my bus. I'm definitly not getting paid enough for all I do. BUT...I have the most supportive parents who back me up no matter what. Even if it is their child in trouble..they respect what I'm trying to do. It's not always easy.

I do hope that this post helps you in some way. Talk with your bus driver first about your concerns calmly...then if you're not satisfied...talk with your school officials. But remember...it's easier for them to understand what has happened if you talk to them and not rant and rave like a lunatic (not saying you do, but you wouldn't believe how some parent carry on...no wonder their child gets in trouble).

I wish you the best in resolving the situation on your children's bus.