SIL problems AGAIN!!

[Janet]

First let me give you some background: My husband as a half-sister and she is the baby of the family. Their family was a "his", "hers", and "ours." She's always had problems but most everyone thought it was because her mom and dad spoiled her. She didn't do well in school and got upset when the school wanted them to have her tested. She failed every subject from grade school on up. This is no exaggeration. She pregnant at 16, had a beautiful little girl. Had two boys and now they are divorced, he remarried and living in Texas. Well, whenever there was a problem mommy and daddy bailed her out, mostly financial. Okay, more up to date........FIL passed away and we found out they were over $80,000 in credit card debt. Mostly because of this daughter.

She just turned 41 on the 20th of this month but has the mentality of a screwed up 20 something. She had racked up over $30,000 herself. They helped her get a car (in both names) and she has yet to get his name off of the car. She ended up renting an apartment and leaving without paying the rent. They took her to court. In all of this she did get a settlement from her father's estate. Now the tow truck is driving all around town trying to find her car so they can reposess it. She over 4 months behind. She took her mom from the nursing home to the flower shop that has been sold and pretty much dismantled and caused her mom to lose it for awhile. Then started begging her for money for her car payment.

Last night we had to go get the business van and hide it because we had word that she was going to start driving that. I am just so sick of having to deal with this nimrod I can't stand it. She's asked everyone in the family to co-sign for her to get another car...no one will. She's driving the family nuts...what are we to do. We can't move...... I want her to go away and never return.

Just needed to vent!!!! She's nuts!!!!!!!!!

[Mandy]

Sorry you have to deal with this, sounds like she's a hard case to handle!!
Hang in there girl, don't let her get you down!

[rivermom]

WOW! She continues this behavior because it sounds like there is always someone to bail her out. Maybe if the family "cut her off" she will soon realize she actually has to be responsible for once. Or is this just wishful thinking?

[Kimberley]

Everyone needs to stand firm and lot give in to this lady. Sounds like you've got it pretty rough!

[Janet]

We all have cut her off. No one has ever helped her except for my in-laws, but they did it her whole life and now that he gone and she can't...she wants us to, but NO WAY! I don't know how to get her to just stay away!!!

[magnolia]

Oh Janet! I'm so sorry you are having these problems with your SIL. I don't have any advice for you other than to hang in there, stick to your guns of not bailing her out of trouble, and hopefully things will be okay. Sometimes, we all have to dish out "tough love" to a family member and that's what she obviously needs - someone to tell her NO for a change! Keep your chin up and you come vent and lean on our shoulders any time

My God Janet I thought for a minute you were talking about my sister! She's also been a screw up her whole life, starting from an early age & she's now in her 40's also. All she has to do is bring on the tears or throw a tantrum or the one that is sure to work is the "poor me I'm a victim & everyone is out to get me!" routine. It works everytime on my mother. My mother's purse has been open all her life. She was in jail for a couple of years recently & my mother paid for the laywer, fines & money for her too call & reverse the charges. Her phone bill was a easy $300 a month from those calls.They took her daughter in for those two years, paid her storage fees on her furniture & bought her a car when she got out. All the while my mother complains non-stop about how she can't take it much more but it still goes on today. Just in the last 2 1/2 yrs. the have given her $30,000 & that was their retirement money. I used to feel sorry for my mother but after years & years of listening to this & advising her to stop giving her things because she''ll never do it on her own, I've finally decided to save my own sanity. I have removed myself from the situation. I have'nt seen or heard from my sister in over two years. She is now living back w/ my parents again so I have not been there in over a year. It may not be the best solution but it certainly brought me some peace of mind. Since I have no control over the situation I needed to remove myself. All I can say is don't let her get away w/ anything that you can control. Call the police if she takes the car.Good luck.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by jck4b

My God Janet I thought for a minute you were talking about my sister! She's also been a screw up her whole life, starting from an early age & she's now in her 40's also. All she has to do is bring on the tears or throw a tantrum or the one that is sure to work is the "poor me I'm a victim & everyone is out to get me!" routine. It works everytime on my mother. My mother's purse has been open all her life. She was in jail for a couple of years recently & my mother paid for the laywer, fines & money for her too call & reverse the charges. Her phone bill was a easy $300 a month from those calls.They took her daughter in for those two years, paid her storage fees on her furniture & bought her a car when she got out. All the while my mother complains non-stop about how she can't take it much more but it still goes on today. Just in the last 2 1/2 yrs. the have given her $30,000 & that was their retirement money. I used to feel sorry for my mother but after years & years of listening to this & advising her to stop giving her things because she''ll never do it on her own, I've finally decided to save my own sanity. I have removed myself from the situation. I have'nt seen or heard from my sister in over two years. She is now living back w/ my parents again so I have not been there in over a year. It may not be the best solution but it certainly brought me some peace of mind. Since I have no control over the situation I needed to remove myself. All I can say is don't let her get away w/ anything that you can control. Call the police if she takes the car.Good luck.

Oh WOW, sounds very similiar. We couldn't afford to help her if we wanted to which we don't. I know it's not completely her fault being the way she is, it's her parents fault. BUT she is 41 years old now and needs to learn to handle things herself. It's always the same victim or poor me story here too. She can be very intelligent when it comes to manipulating, hiding from bill collectors and she is an excellent liar. She'll have to make it on her own, because all of the family has cut her off financially. She is their sister and they do love her although, she's making that a little tough too.