bad weekend

[Lindsey]

Thanks Janet. I'm a little better now but still worried that he's mad at me. His hockey team is in semi-finals and I wanted to go watch today but we had our fight and he left without me. My roommate said she'd go with me and we'd just leave when the game was done. So we drove out to the place they always play and there was some other tournament thing going on and we had to pay to get in and it's definitely not his rec league, so we left and finally figured out where the other rink is on the other side of the city and went there and nobody was there. Then we called a friend and found out it WAS at the first place but by then the game should almost be over so I came home. I'm so upset that I missed it. I'm ready to cry again. His mom's birthday supper is tonight and I was supposed to go but I think he doesn't want me there anymore.

[Lindsey]

Oh and I know I should probably talk to a doctor about it but I'm way too shy and embarassed to mention anything. I don't even really have a family doctor here because nobody is ever taking patients so I just go to walk-ins when I need prescriptions and they don't know my history or anything and basically they just want everyone in and out as fast as possible because they're always backed up. I don't think I can bring it up with a doctor. Even when I get the question "are you sexually active" my face turns red.

[katcarasella]

Lindsey, Janet gave you some good advice
I hope you seek some help for your depression, you're too young to be so sad, and NO man is worth all this grief.
"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it."
I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Lindsey]

Thanks Kat. I have a cousin who is on meds for depression and I know how the rest of my family talks about her. She's pretty much my best friend though and she knows exactly what I'm going through. I'm just too scared of what other people think of me.

[katcarasella]

Lindsey, I suffer from depression also, but the meds do work. As far as what other people think, who cares, are they paying your bills? You only have to answer to God and yourself, so do yourself a favor and get better, there's a great world out here, but you have to take that first step!!

[Lindsey]

i don't want to die but sometimes i wish i was never born

[katcarasella]

I just looked this up, go check it out there is help out there.

http://groups.msn.com/Bipolardissord...elpatonce.msnw

[Lindsey]

Thank you Kat. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I slit my wrists on my 18th birthday. It was the scariest night of my life. My mom knows but she covered it up so nobody in the family knows she has a crazy daughter.
I just went for a drive and drove past the houses of every guy who's screwed me over, and then I drove by the river to try to lift my spirits and then I went way out of town and got lost. I finally found my way back and drove past my boyfriend's house to see he's still not at home, still partying it up for his mom's birthday that I was invited to but then ditched.