bad weekend

[Marilyn]

BTW, I know it's much easier said than done, but don't worry about the past. Let the past worry about the past. Think about the future and all the wonderful adventures ahead of you. Kyle needs to wake up and realize what a sweet person he has for a GF. We know what a special, kind, responsible, caring person you are, so he should surely know!!!

I know what the lack of sex drive is like. It's so frustrating knowing you that you can't/don't have the desire to give that part of you to your boyfriend even though you want to be able to. I will say that it's NOT you..Im almost positive that it's the BC. I was on it and lack of a sex drive is one of the most common. Do some research on different kinds and get another perscription. Good luck to you

[Lindsey]

kyle just called me and yelled at me again. he said i know why he's mad. he's still mad because i didn't have sex with him.

[Dobie]

I don't want this to come out wrong, I don't know you well - but after working in the human services field for over 20 years, some of the things you've said have sent up some flags for me. You've said that he's a really nice guy - but please take a step back and really look at your relationship. It sounds as though he's trying to control a lot of what you do, and that's not healthy. I think Janet is right, you do sound depressed and that is nothing to be ashamed of. The depression can also really knock out your sex drive.
I really hope things improve for you.

[goofywife]

I am really sorry you are having a hard time now. I could totally be wrong, I have just seen some of this to much in my life, but, I think the pot is calling the kettle black. Why is he so quick to accuse you of something. Smells fishy. It seems like he is finding a way to blame things on you for things he may be doing.

Again, I could be wrong. Here are some hugs

[Lindsey]

Thank you everyone. I'm feeling a little better. We talked everything out, and with the whole sex topic he said he feels like I push him away because he's not good enough or I'm not attracted enough. I told him what I found out today just from looking online, that most birth control pills hinder testosterone which is what the sex drive comes from.... and basically I can go to a doctor and see about another type of pill, or get off pills all together. I might also see about an iud or something... but one of my good friends got pregnant while using an iud a couple years ago So I'm not sure but I promised that I will see a doctor because I don't want to fight over it anymore, and I do understand how he feels inadequate but I know he doesn't understand why I'm not the same as him. And I DO want to fix it, I don't want to be like this forever. I'd like to have kids someday
And he can say whatever he wants about my guy friends. I'm not going to stop having friends just because of Kyle. They will be meeting each other next weekend anyway, and I hope Kyle sees that my friend is harmless. I told Kyle that it's the exact same situation he's in with his old best friend. She's a girl and she's so pretty and friendly and everything. But she got a boyfriend and stopped hanging out with Kyle and his whole group of friends and they never talk at all anymore. I told Kyle that if she broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to hang out with Kyle and go for drinks or whatever, I would have no problem with it! And he kind of shut up after that.

[goofywife]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I'm not going to stop having friends just because of Kyle. They will be meeting each other next weekend anyway, and I hope Kyle sees that my friend is harmless. I told Kyle that it's the exact same situation he's in with his old best friend. She's a girl and she's so pretty and friendly and everything. But she got a boyfriend and stopped hanging out with Kyle and his whole group of friends and they never talk at all anymore. I told Kyle that if she broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to hang out with Kyle and go for drinks or whatever, I would have no problem with it! And he kind of shut up after that.

[pope1982]

His ego is bruised, he will get over it. And if he doesn't, and can't realize he needs to make you feel special by being spontaneous and romantic, he's not ready for this serious a relationship anyhow. He needs to work on getting you relaxed first! He is approaching this bass ackwards.

It does sound like your hormones spiraling, and I don't know your past but if there is a under lying issue with you and intimacy, you need to talk to some one. These things don't go away on their own. Coming from some one with experience!

Neither one of you are horrible people, you are young and the first couple years trying to figure out how you mesh together is always the toughest. You need to come together and get through this as a team.
I am getting married next March and trust me when I say we have been through some pretty trying times. You never know, just hang in there and don't give up or change yourself (unless you feel yourself you need to grow, which in all truthfulness couldn't hurt any of us )

Live life now, go with your gut.
We are just hear to listen, be here for you, and maybe share an experience or two since most of us have been where you are. Who cares what any of us have to say about your relationship. That is between you two, don't let any one make you question yourself or what you've got.
Him jumping to conclusions does not automatically make HIM a cheater either. It makes him imperfect (like the rest of us) and insecure. We're all guilty of letting the little green monster of jealousy take the wheel from time to time!

I don't want you to feel like I am sticking up for him, I am just trying to think about this from both sides because I have two brothers lol
The differences between men and women are so fascinating and making a relationship work between ANY two people is a lot of hard work.

Cheer up! It is not the end of the world, you are a beautiful caring woman and I hate to read when you are upset.

I will give you a little tip though, next time he calls don't let him see that you are visibly upset. That is what he wants right now, because he is hurting. Just tell him you're a little busy right now and to give you a call back when he feels like rejoining you as an adult partner to work this out. Ask him to read up on some of the side effects of your pill, and even some things on depression.
Sex comes and goes, changes like the weather in a long term relationship. Timing can get all screwed up... one is ready to go and the other is so far from "there".
But it is worth it in those moments when you come together and it all works out

That is why the key is to find a best friend for those quiet, event less moments called "life"

[Lindsey]

Thank you