Body Image Flaws And Your Hubby.

[Janet]

When I first saw this thread, I thought it was about our husbands flaws...and I was so excited...LMAO!!, so since it isn't I'm gonna start one:

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Janet

When I first saw this thread, I thought it was about our husbands flaws...and I was so excited...LMAO!!, so since it isn't I'm gonna start one:

OMG!! LMAO!!!

[Janet]

Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!!

Originally Posted by Janet

Did you find the new thread I started ladies??? If not, then hop to it!!!! Time to be honest with your husbands flaws!!

hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by sashajade

hun can i just ask are you still with your husband? and if so WHY? you could get so much better if my partner said he wanted to divorce me cos id put on weight id pack his bag and call the cab for him.

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.

[rivermom]

Originally Posted by Janet

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.

I think at times it's so easy for others looking in to say this or that. Only YOU know what you want and what you are satisified with. Janet, you know your life and what you expect out of it. I can respect that. I admit, I too have sat back and thought to myself "gosh, why does Janet tolerate some of the things she does in her marriage?". But I don't live in your shoes.

It's just like a dear friend of mine. She is in a marriage with a man who does nothing but cheat on her...A LOT!! She decides to stay in the marriage for so many reasons. (not financial ones either) I always tell her it's not my place to tell her what she should and shouldn't do, it's her life. All I tell her is I want her to be happy and satisified with her life and her choices. Isn't that what we all want for our ownselves?

My own life I live 99% of the ladies on here would not agree with. But I've made choices for my ownself that I have found peace with. I've made many sacrafices in my life but had to set my priorites as to what was most important. Not saying I don't have regrets...But i did what I felt was best. We all do that.

Life is not perfect, we just do the best we can.

[Janet]

Exactly Sheryl!!! My marriage isn't horrible, it is just that some wouldn't put up with what I have put up with. But then again, maybe no one would want to put up with me either. I'm a perfectionist and that can be a rough life for a mate. Never being able to measure up. That's okay. We all have our limitations.

My first reason for marrying was to get out of my parents house at age 19. Secondly I did love him very much. But in my opinion now....I was still a kid. I really think there should be a law that at age 25 you can marry....LOL

As time went on I found other things I loved about him, great provider, very nice to all my friends...very supportive and a host of other things. The things that drove me away alot, is the everyday things..helping out around the house, fixing things when they need fixed, not waiting until it costs double to get it done, not really caring if he lived in a dump or the nice clean house I keep. Hoarding money for himself, while I would have to put things in lay-away. After all these years, no matter how much discussion was held, these things haven't changed. He always understood and changed for a week or so, but then back to what he did before. When you look at how his family was growing up... it's what he learned. Am I miserable...no, do I want to start over....no. I have other things in my life now, I've grown up since that 19 year old got married. I also, put money back (he doesn't know). You see, I'm not that naive little girl anymore and learned that we can make our own happiness, no one does that for you.

Yes, I still care about him, in love...no, not so much. But who's to say those feelings won't return. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, all those vows were taken before God and they mean something. I may complain, he may too for that matter, but we're still here, together, still a very good family. It's not so bad, but who's life would I trade it for?? No one that I know of is perfect. And who really knows what goes on behind closed doors. Even the ones we think are perfect, aren't....no matter what they try to lead us to believe.

Originally Posted by Janet

Yes, we're still together. Why? who knows, 32 years of marriage 4 years of dating before that. Back when he said that, we had only been married a short time and I was laid off from my job. I ate, so I gained weight. I guess it wasn't what he bargained for. You get past things if you care about someone.

Too many years have passed now, and it just would take so long to explain it all. Don't worry, as years went by, I was able to put him in his place now and again.

im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by sashajade

im glad you stick up for your self and im glad your content with your life, yes its true you can get over a lot of things if you love someone. maybe its cos im 31 and have a different view on things and what i see as a partnership also the fact that i saw my mum with 2 bad partners and i vowed i would never put up with that and im gone as soon as i see the first warning signs, my mum split from her second partner after 14 years together i saw all bad but she saw some good in him but that was untill she and him split up and she could see what we all saw, she said she wanted a happy life and was looking foward to the future without him but sadly 6 months later she died of cancer aged just 53, so i watched my mum waist her very short life on 2 men that didnt deserve her so maybe im over sencertive on things like this, im sorry if you thought i was putting your husband down i wasnt, you know him not me and im sorry if it upset you.

No, No, No, I wasn't upset at all. I think it's great that so many young women, early on will stand up for themselves and not put up with it. I got my backbone later on in the marriage, it's all okay. I'm still a very happy person for the most part. But who's happy all the time? I welcome anyones opinion anytime, so don't ever think I get upset about something like that.

Now if you were a mean woman with a brat of a son that rode my bus...that's another story.....LOLOLOL

[Amber_lv]

My hubby is really good about this he doesn't say anything rude to me.

my other half never says anything bad about me, he thinks everythings cute lol even down to my poo lol

[Emmsmom]

I went though 36 hours of labor AND a c-section to get this gorgeous body!!! He knows better that to ever say a bad thing about me!!! LOL

[Sherry Lynn]

My hubby is always quick with kind compliment. What endears me the most is how he always comments on when I am smiling and looking contented. It gives HIM the most contented expression to see me happy! And visa-versa!

********
Janet... I just have to comment on 'your portion' of this thread.... I think it's all about compromise and that it's very much a generational thing as to what someone will 'put up' with.

I can see what my Grandmother found tolerable (married until death do us part)... then my mother (50+ years married)... then myself .... and now my newlywed nieces... it's such a wide spectrum! Expectations have changed so much in the favor of women. There is still a long way to go (after all, we only make 75 cents to their dollar!) but I think that women today have more options and expect more!

Also, after being married and really knowing someone for many years it isn't just about compromise, but knowing how to work around things to make them work in your favor. And as women we are very adept at manipulation.

So you don't tell him something to avoid an argument.... or you stash a little cash... or make him believe something is his idea... whatever it takes to get things done the way you want them done. Most women figure it out, and if they're smart they'll accept it and even make a game out of it! We are SO not the weaker sex!!!!!

We're wired differently, and thankfully women usually get it! As long as we have each other to work with and to vent to we can move mountains!

(All that said... you still deserve to meet the 'Big O' one day!!!) ***evil grin here!***