Now I feel like the worst mother who was ever born!

[Marilyn]

Judy, I sincerely hope that this all works out for both of you. Perhaps a step back for a moment would be good. Dave Ramsey recommends a book called Boundaries. Here's link http://www.daveramsey.com/shop/Boundaries_P303C44.cfm. I think it is available on Amazon.com also. You might check it our and perhaps if you think it's good, Jessie could read it, too. He talks about this book whenever people are having problems with parents or parents with adult children. Hope this or something helps you both work through this situation. We care and are here anytime you need us!!!

[Chandra Amaya]

I hope things calm daown and get better for you, Judy.

[judy]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

Judy, I sincerely hope that this all works out for both of you. Perhaps a step back for a moment would be good. Dave Ramsey recommends a book called Boundaries. Here's link http://www.daveramsey.com/shop/Boundaries_P303C44.cfm. I think it is available on Amazon.com also. You might check it our and perhaps if you think it's good, Jessie could read it, too. He talks about this book whenever people are having problems with parents or parents with adult children. Hope this or something helps you both work through this situation. We care and are here anytime you need us!!!

I just ordered the book. Thanks!

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by judy

I just ordered the book. Thanks!

I hope it gives you some insight or atleast some peace.

[katcarasella]

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

I hope it gives you some insight or at least some peace.

I'm keeping you in my prayers Judy, I wish I could give you a big hug.

[DianaB]

I'm so sorry, Judy!

I would venture to guess that your daughter's love language is quality time. When you are with your daughter try to have some really good one-on-one conversations. No kids, no distractions. Just you and your daughter. Try to give her some special attention, compliments, and small gifts. You don't have to be at her beck and call but give her the extra attention when you're there the next time. There's a book called "The 5 love languages of children" that might be helpful.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by DianaB

I'm so sorry, Judy!

I would venture to guess that your daughter's love language is quality time. When you are with your daughter try to have some really good one-on-one conversations. No kids, no distractions. Just you and your daughter. Try to give her some special attention, compliments, and small gifts. You don't have to be at her beck and call but give her the extra attention when you're there the next time. There's a book called "The 5 love languages of children" that might be helpful.

I've never read the 5 Love Languages of Children, but I did read the one for married couples and I agree that it sounds like Jessie's love language is quality time. Judy, you are not a bad mother, you and Jessie just have different ways of feeling loved. She needs to respect your boundaries, but I think she also needs to spend time with you in order to feel loved. This doesn't mean you need to live close to her, but like Diana said, make some special effort to spend one-on-one time with her whenever possible. Perhaps that will make her feel more loved and cause her to be more accepting of your choices and your desire to live your own life the way you want to. I'm sorry you are feeling down. We are here for you whenever you need to vent. Remember, you are a wonderful person and a great mother who truly loves your daughter and grandchildren!

[judy]

Thanks so much all of you. I need your support!

I found a condo not too far from her with nice duplexes, a heated pool., and a clubhouse, I think with a gym. It's more of a second home place for city people, but I emailed my realtor to check it out for me. I'd love to get in touch with the homeowners association, but I can't get an address or phone number.

I'd like to find out how many owners are year round there. The prices are really good. It's far up in the mountains and the prices are good. It's fairly far
from shopping and a college, but I'd say 45 minutes would get me to each.

I found out that the weather near my daughter and near the city my realtor showed me (1.5 hours away) are really the same. If that's so, I might just do it.
I would compromise - and and it really is a nice place.

I will say that she is totally annoying and manipulative when she wants her way. In fact, I don't know anyone who annoys me so much. I think she behaves like a spoiled child if she doesn't get her way, and I'm not in love with that part of her at all. Yuck!

Having said that, I do love her and the kids and don't want to hurt her. I will never make her really happy. Janet - you figured that out as you said it in one of your posts. I'm just too independent and love my freedom too much. I can compromise though.

I haven't heard from my realtor yet. I'll call him tomorrow or Monday. She doesn't know about it, and won't until I decide.

A heated pool! I could learn to love that!