Going to go INSANE!!!!

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by teri88

God Bless you, you do have your hands full. With 5 kids and all that they are putting you through, I think you need to sit down with your husband and decide what is most important and work on that. Otherwise, you'll burn yourself out trying to fix everything at once. You didn't get to this point overnight, and you won't convince your kids that things are going to be different from now on overnight.

oh, and when my kids say "I hate you" I always reply "you'll get over it"...or I'll say "If you hate me then I'm doing my job". They won't hate you forever, and if you show them that you are the parent and you are in charge, then some day they will appreciate what you've done for them.

As far as your bright son who doesn't do his school work, my guess is he's bored to death in school. My son has been the same way his whole school life. As a first grader he used to refuse to do "busy work" that is what he called it. I can remember him doing math and saying "I just did 5 problems in a row, obviously I know how to do this. I'm not doing the other 20" He is now a Junior in HS and we still fight over homework. It is very difficult to raise a bright child. The secret is you have to keep them busy. It's exaughsting that's for sure. And you have to find something that matters to him...karate, video game, whatever....and that is your leverage. If he doesn't do his work he loses that priviledge. I would tell Kevin in a calm voice "if the teacher calls again about missing work, you don't go to baseball" And I followed through. You HAVE to be consistant. Sometimes I had to go into my room and cry because I hated being the meanie...but, if they know the consequence then it puts it back on their shoulders. It is HIS homework. HE chooses not to do it, HE suffers the consequence. And that is really all you can do. My son slacked off in Freshman year, so now next year as a Senior his friends will be taking easy classes, getting out early, whatever. He is taking FRESHMAN health and history. So, he has to work harder than he should have. Like I said let him know the consequences and let him suffer them. I'm not saying it's easy, but it will be worth it.

ok, enough from me....sorry this is so long. It's just that I have gone through it and I wish I'd known these things when my son was 8...it would have made me a better parent.

As for the part of being bored to death in school... been there done that. i started laying out of all my classes in high school because it was so boring. They did not offer classes that were more challenging then. Ask the school to test him and they can give him gifted enrichment, if this is the case. It seems to help a great deal. good luck!