am I being too sensitive??? (kinda long...sorry)

[toodles]

I probably am. who knows. but bear with me and give me the honest truth....

my bff and I have been planning for over a week to get together tomorrow with our husbands, my daughter, and a couple of friends. really...just them, us, my brother in law, and a friend of mine. not many people. but we were going to get together and go to the park, cook out, play kick ball, frisbee...stuff like that. Just hang out and have a good day together. We were going to do this instead of getting together on Monday for the holiday, because we figured the parks will be packed and it would just be easier to do it on sunday. sooooooo...this was the plan.

well...dh asked me if I wanted to get everyone together to cook out here at the house on monday. I told him that it was probably too "last minute" because I'm sure people already had plans made for the holiday. So he said...well, why don't we all hang out at the park on sunday...then sunday night come here and have a cook out. I told him we were wanting to cook out at the park...and he really hated that idea...thought it would be too much of a pain in butt to tote all of the stuff...and the grill...around. So I said that maybe we can just do a picnic type of thing for lunch...spend the day at the park...then in the evening when we are all ready to leave the park, we can come to our house and cook out here. he loved the idea and so I mentioned it to my bff.

her response was that she really wanted to cook out at the park. then as we got to talking a bit, she agreed that it would be fine to do the picnic at the park then come here to do the grilling. so I thought we were all set.

i get home and get on my computer. she chimes in on instant messenger saying "Sean and I are going to skip out on the park tomorrow if that is ok. He was really wanting to 'make a day of it' at the park...playing ball, grilling out, etc. so we are just going to pass and maybe we can do it another day."

i told her that we were still planning on spending all day at the park having a good time, but leave the grilling for the house. she just made about 2 more excuses and then said "why dont' you just talk to sean...maybe i didn't understand him right"

well, I didn't want to call him and have to beg him to hang out with us at the park. I mean....I really dont' see what the big deal is. if they don't want to come to my house to grill out...then they dont' have to...but why cancel the entire day just because we dont' feel the need to drag the grill to the park and HOPE to find a place to set up. if she is saying that he was looking forward to spending all day having fun and playing...well....i never said we couldn't do that. THAT was the whole point of us goign to the park in the first place. so I just don't get why they feel the need to just back out all together. It's pointless for us all to drive out to the park if they aren't going to be there. the other 2 people that were going to meet us there might not even go...so it just seems like they are backing out and now it is all just pointless.

I guess it just kinda hurt my feelings. I have been looking forward to this for over a week. my bff and I have talked about it and had really been looking forward to spending the day together...now it's all down the drain.

I even told her that if it was THAT big of a deal for us to grill out...we will. I was just trying to make everyone happy. but now I really feel like I am just begging them to hang out with us and that seems kinda silly.

am I being too sensitive? am I reading into this all wrong??? I am tired...NO...exhausted...and probably am over-reacting. but I can't help but be a little disappointed in it all I guess part of me feels like every since she and him got together, it's all about what SEAN wants to do. She was never like this...EVER. and lately...if Sean doesn't want to do something...or has a fit about something...or would rather give his dog a bath than to go do something that we had all been planning on...she jumps on the boat. I hate it

sorry....i know this is long..I just needed to vent

[Marilyn]

So sad this has happened. Sounds like since she suggested you just talk to Sean, that somehow he did not like the idea of the slight change of plans for whatever reason and is either using it as an out because he really didn't want to go, or is just being childish. Sounds like she's a bit tired of dealing with it and that is why she suggested you talk with him. We never know what is going on in someone elses house. I'd probably call and make sure that they are really calling it all off, and then let it drop. Sounds like there's more going on here. It may not be about you at all, and may be a control issue between them. Probably best to just be there for her should she need you and try to plan another outing of a different type at a later date.

Hope all goes well this weekend!!

[Janet]

I think some people have a hard time to adjusting to a change of plans. He might of had it all figured out in his head and even had his mouth watering at the idea of grilling at the park..who knows. I don't know if you're over reacting or not, I know I would be disappointed too. Just don't let this come between you and your BFF. Maybe it's time you two had a talk, but please make sure you keep your hormones in check.

[judy]

It sounds like she has a new relationship and boundaries and control issues still haven't been set between them. Or, maybe they have, and it's Sean's way or the highway.

But, never let love go. Your bff may have to change her ways a bit for this boyfriend, but it would be so sad to lose the friendship.

One of you is going to have to take the high road. She's not, so guess who that leaves!

You can sit down and calmly talk it over with her at another time. Like Janet said,
don't let your hormones get in the way right now.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

So sad this has happened. Sounds like since she suggested you just talk to Sean, that somehow he did not like the idea of the slight change of plans for whatever reason and is either using it as an out because he really didn't want to go, or is just being childish. Sounds like she's a bit tired of dealing with it and that is why she suggested you talk with him. We never know what is going on in someone elses house. I'd probably call and make sure that they are really calling it all off, and then let it drop. Sounds like there's more going on here. It may not be about you at all, and may be a control issue between them. Probably best to just be there for her should she need you and try to plan another outing of a different type at a later date.

Hope all goes well this weekend!!

I agree with Marilyn. I also think that you need to go ahead and go to the park with the other friends, and maybe invite another couple, and have your fun and picnic. Go ahead and have a good time and don't let "this rain on your parade". Your best friend is probably caught in the middle between you and her boyfriend so don't be too angry with her.

I hope that you have a great Memorial Day!!!

[Ponyup]

You are not being too sensitive. I would have been crushed. You have spend all this time trying to arrange a nice day & make everyone happy & then they bale on you. I had a friend that we would make plans & at the last minute her boyfriend would want her to spend time with him & she'd make some excuse & bale on me. I still like her & like to talk to her, but I don't make plans with her anymore I just can't handle it. But if your friend is in a new relationship things may ease up as they get more comfortable with each other. I hope you had a good weekend in spite of everything.

[AngieDoogles]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your friend and her husband. I hope everything worked out alright and you had a good day anyway. You'll have to let us know how it went.