I'm deeply hurt......

[AngieDoogles]

Oh Diana, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how sad you must be. You have always been an incredible DIL. I can tell because of how hard you've tried to connect with her. (Like that special 3 day personalized gift you bought her.) It's really sad that she has not appreciated you for the wonderful person you are. I know it sounds cliche, but SHE is the one missing out. Really. I know I have been touched by your friendship even though we are miles apart...she could have had a great friend and family member in you, if she would only try.

I'm sure your children are hurt by this decision, but at least they have you and you have done so many things to make their lives more special and meaningful. That is something they will never forget. They are lucky to have you and I'm sure they realize this, especially in light of how their grandmother is treating them.

Again, I am so sorry that this happened. I'm sending you hugs!

[DianaB]

Thanks so much, you two! I'm glad that she said it to my husband because he never believed that his family felt that way. Now he knows and he knows how much it hurt me. I'll have to tell the kids later because right now I think that I'd just start crying but they know how I've been treated in the past so it won't be a surprise to them. The sad part is is that Glen's brother has a wonderful wife and she's probably included in all of my MIL's remarks too. I'll have to talk to her later.

Janet, you asked if she had other grandchildren who would receive something and the answer is yes. My MIL has always had favorites- each of her daughters have 2 children, a granddaughter and 3 grandsons. Even my kids know that she's had favorites. Isn't that sad?

Jaci was helping to clean her house one time and found a large prism. You know, like you hang in the window to make rainbows on the wall (Jaci has several in her window.). Jaci admired it and then someone told her where to put it, but by the end of the day my MIL gave it to her favorite granddaughter. Jaci still talks about it.

I'm always reminded when this granddaughter's birthday is but there's hardly ever mention about Jaci's birthday which is the next day. My husband has noticed that one too. I could go on and on with stuff like that. I've always tried to ignore it but at times it was hard. This really feels like a slap in the face, but I'll get over it.

[Emmsmom]

I just have to say that I understand EXACTLY how you feel!!!

My MIL is the same way. We talk to keep to the peace basically. However, she has treated my daughter like a red-headed step childfor years! She has 6 grandchildren and 1 step granddaughter. For years my daughter(who isn't the step-grandchild, she is treated better than my own) who is only 10 has gone without a birthday card and/or present, and hasn't been sent a Christmas card and/or present either. We live about 3 hours away but we use to live only 30 min away. Since we have moved the presents have all stopped. MInd you she has a son who lives in Florida that she MAILS cards and gifts to all the time!!! When my daughter was little she was never invited to go to movies or to go get ice cream,or to even go shopping, and OH she was never invited to go to the beach. The other grandchildren were invited to do it all.

This has been going on for YEARS!For the past few years I have had to MAKE my DH call his mom and dad on Mother's and Father's day. No more... I have had about all I can take. I didn't mean to hijack your post. I just wanted to let you know that I REALLY do understand how you feel. All I can do is offer a ((HUG))...

I still haven't gotten over it just ask Tink. LOL She hears all about it from time to time. My MIL has talked about her jewelry and how she wants to leave this to so and so... Of course my daughter's name and my husband's name are never mentioned. I wish I could offer a solution but I am still searching for my own. It is really hard to handle and feelings do get hurt. If you are like me you are personally not hurt by this but you are hurting because your children are being treated this way. I can't say that I blame you one bit for not wanting to go over there anymore. It sure would be hard for me! ((HUGS))

Tink has said it many times... You can mess with me all you want but you had better not mess with my kids!

[Forgivenmom5]

I am so sorry Diana!! You should not be treated that way. You are a warm and loving person. Hold your head high and know that you are the better person.

[DianaB]

Thanks so much, Debbie!

Emmsmom, it sure sounds like our MILs must be sisters! I can see that you have to deal with a lot of the same stuff that I do. It's hard to deal with especially when it affects your children. I'm here if you ever need to vent!!!!!

I just keep trying to figure out what I did wrong. My problem isn't just my MIL but also her sisters. They have always been a very unaccepting family toward people married in and for the last few years I've taken the brunt of their unaccepting ways. I'm not a very good conformer and I'm not about to be bullied.

[Emmsmom]

Good for you! I wouldn't give in either. Just keep trying to remember that there will come a day when she will need you.....In my case I told my husband that his mom and dad had better go to the other kids because they won't get any help from me. You have been a good wife to her son for 34 years.. You deserve some respect and if she isn't willing to give it then to hell with them I say! I am here if you need to vent as well. Take Care!

[Tink]

Diana, that just plain stinks.
I dare bet it's nothing you've done or NOT done. It's them who have narrow minds and hearts and couldn't manage to include you and yours. As Emms said, "to H#!! with them and their attitude.

The older I get, the more shocked I am by the number of families that are just plain messed up and hateful. It sounds like your MIL is in that category. It's sad, but she's the one missing out... and she's too stubborn and foolish to see it.

HUGS we all know you're a wonderful person and love you dearly. It's not the love of a mother in law, but it's the love of friends and peers for one who deserves it.