I'm deeply hurt...... - Page 2

DianaB · 06-23-2008, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

Sounds like everyone is agreeing 100% on this Diana. It will probably be sad at her funeral. When people are allowed to say something like at your FIL....no one will want to say anything for her. What a big difference.

It was like that with my in-laws too. When my FIL passed...there were so many people, but he knew a lot, from the floral buisness. But when my MIL passed...there was mostly just family. Since it was a mixed family...I felt sorry for my MIL kids....(FIL stepkids)

Actually, when I go to town I have people all the time asking how my MIL is and telling me how wonderful she is. I just let them think that I agree with them and go on. Being in her family is different than being a friend.

Things are stirred up so we'll see what happens. There's some things that really need to be discussed.

My FIL always had a saying that went something like this.....

"If we were to take all of our troubles and pack them in a bag and place them in the middle of a room and everyone had to pick up a bag. I'd pick up mine and you'd pick up yours." Our troubles really don't seem so bad when we look at what someone else is going through.

Thanks so much for your support. I so appreciate each of you!!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

AngieDoogles · 06-23-2008, 10:20 AM

I love that saying Diana. How true it is! I'm sorry that your "bag" is so heavy right now. Hopefully it will get better! *hugs*

HALEY · 06-23-2008, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DianaB

Actually, when I go to town I have people all the time asking how my MIL is and telling me how wonderful she is. I just let them think that I agree with them and go on. Being in her family is different than being a friend.

Things are stirred up so we'll see what happens. There's some things that really need to be discussed.

My FIL always had a saying that went something like this.....

"If we were to take all of our troubles and pack them in a bag and place them in the middle of a room and everyone had to pick up a bag. I'd pick up mine and you'd pick up yours." Our troubles really don't seem so bad when we look at what someone else is going through.

Thanks so much for your support. I so appreciate each of you!!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

This is going to sound stupid Diana, but i got this from a poem i read, i have an old pine tree at my house, and when i get home from work, i always walk pass that tree and touch it, and i tell God i'm hanging my work problems on that tree, I never want to bring my work troubles home with me, and i tell God i'll pick them up tomorrow before i go to work, and like the poem says, there is not as many problems the next day hanging on that old tree...

Shada · 06-23-2008, 02:04 PM

Oh Diana, I am so sorry you are going thru this with your MIL.

It speaks for her character (lack of) that she felt the need to express in words how she fells. That was just wrong. I know you are a great mother and wife. Your only concern about this matter should be your children and husband. They know the truth. As for her, she also knows what a happy life you are making for her son and grandchildren. Don't let her push you out of family gatherings because of her mean mouth. Keep a smile on your face. Continue on as you have been doing. I would not do over do the welcome when I saw her, but I would keep a smile and let her know it doesn't bother me.

My ex MIL was the same. She did not hesitate to tell my husband how she felt about me in her family. Then she wondered why we were not close. Duh!! He always told me what she said. And it hurt.

Good luck to you. Hang in there. Prove you are the stronger one with class.
{{HUGS}}

Gina · 06-23-2008, 02:16 PM

Just a comment here.. It's so sad that MIL don't realize that at one time they took someone's son away from their mother.. I must say I had a beautiful loving MIL, she would always side with me against her son when he was wrong.. She passed away 3 yrs. ago.

Diana just be your sweet self and like some have said ignore her and just don't go out of your way. Be civil and go about your business . Her loss.

goofywife · 06-23-2008, 02:17 PM

Diana,

I am so sorry, that was a very hurtful thing to say. We rarely have any contact with my DH family. They still hold it against him for moving to OK from NJ. We have been married for 15 years and not one person in his family has ever come to visit us. We have gone back several times. The last time we said to ourselves we are done. We will not go back up there again.

When my DH was a small boy (his mother and father divorced), his father remarried and when his new wife was due to have a baby, he pulled my DH aside and told him that he (my FIL) had a new family now and could not spend time with him.

People can be mean to thier own family. Some day, when (if) they stand before God, he will have something to say about it.

All you can do is move on and don't waste you time on things/people that are hurtful.

You are a wonderful person, don't believe what anyone else says. It is thier loss!

Michelle

goofywife · 06-23-2008, 02:19 PM

Hmm, see that is how sweet you are. I would say "really, you must see a different side of her than I do." I would shake my head with a confused look on it and walk away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DianaB

Actually, when I go to town I have people all the time asking how my MIL is and telling me how wonderful she is. I just let them think that I agree with them and go on. Being in her family is different than being a friend.

Marilyn · 06-23-2008, 08:35 PM

Diana, so sad that you and your hubby are going through this. There is no advice that I can give that has not already been expressed other than the obvious which I'm sure you are already doing, pray for her. She needs to repent and change her attitude or she may find that when her time does come, her reward may not be what she is expecting.

Janet · 06-24-2008, 02:49 AM

Diana, I've read your original post a dozen times. Somehow I missed it about your sisters-in-law and the sisters of your MIL. How can all the women in her family feel the same way? Are they all blind to how to have an open and inviting heart?

They have got to be so unhappy. When I think of people like them Diana...it makes me so tired. It takes a lot of energy to be that way.

I hope you're feeling a little better my friend.

HALEY · 06-24-2008, 02:58 AM

Diane, you should tell your husband to tell his mother to take that will and shove it up her butt! You don't need her or her left over junk!
Your a beautiful lady and if they don't see that, then it's there loss, you been married to this man for many of years and taking care of him and your children and if she don't respect you now she never will..
I have the same problems with my in-laws, i just wrote them off..
Don't waste your tears or time on his family !!

06-23-2008, 10:20 AM	#17
AngieDoogles Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,509	I love that saying Diana. How true it is! I'm sorry that your "bag" is so heavy right now. Hopefully it will get better! hugs __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT

06-23-2008, 02:17 PM	#21
goofywife Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 855	Diana, I am so sorry, that was a very hurtful thing to say. We rarely have any contact with my DH family. They still hold it against him for moving to OK from NJ. We have been married for 15 years and not one person in his family has ever come to visit us. We have gone back several times. The last time we said to ourselves we are done. We will not go back up there again. When my DH was a small boy (his mother and father divorced), his father remarried and when his new wife was due to have a baby, he pulled my DH aside and told him that he (my FIL) had a new family now and could not spend time with him. People can be mean to thier own family. Some day, when (if) they stand before God, he will have something to say about it. All you can do is move on and don't waste you time on things/people that are hurtful. You are a wonderful person, don't believe what anyone else says. It is thier loss! Michelle __________________ Michelle (Katys mom) OK Yorkie Rescue-Another Chance at Love

06-23-2008, 08:35 PM	#23
Marilyn Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 4,907	Diana, so sad that you and your hubby are going through this. There is no advice that I can give that has not already been expressed other than the obvious which I'm sure you are already doing, pray for her. She needs to repent and change her attitude or she may find that when her time does come, her reward may not be what she is expecting. __________________ Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

06-24-2008, 02:49 AM	#24
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	Diana, I've read your original post a dozen times. Somehow I missed it about your sisters-in-law and the sisters of your MIL. How can all the women in her family feel the same way? Are they all blind to how to have an open and inviting heart? They have got to be so unhappy. When I think of people like them Diana...it makes me so tired. It takes a lot of energy to be that way. I hope you're feeling a little better my friend. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

06-24-2008, 02:58 AM	#25
HALEY Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,147	Diane, you should tell your husband to tell his mother to take that will and shove it up her butt! You don't need her or her left over junk! Your a beautiful lady and if they don't see that, then it's there loss, you been married to this man for many of years and taking care of him and your children and if she don't respect you now she never will.. I have the same problems with my in-laws, i just wrote them off.. Don't waste your tears or time on his family !! __________________ PROUD MOMMY

06-23-2008, 02:04 PM	#19
Shada Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,228	Oh Diana, I am so sorry you are going thru this with your MIL. It speaks for her character (lack of) that she felt the need to express in words how she fells. That was just wrong. I know you are a great mother and wife. Your only concern about this matter should be your children and husband. They know the truth. As for her, she also knows what a happy life you are making for her son and grandchildren. Don't let her push you out of family gatherings because of her mean mouth. Keep a smile on your face. Continue on as you have been doing. I would not do over do the welcome when I saw her, but I would keep a smile and let her know it doesn't bother me. My ex MIL was the same. She did not hesitate to tell my husband how she felt about me in her family. Then she wondered why we were not close. Duh!! He always told me what she said. And it hurt. Good luck to you. Hang in there. Prove you are the stronger one with class. {{HUGS}}

06-23-2008, 02:16 PM	#20
Gina Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,025	Just a comment here.. It's so sad that MIL don't realize that at one time they took someone's son away from their mother.. I must say I had a beautiful loving MIL, she would always side with me against her son when he was wrong.. She passed away 3 yrs. ago. Diana just be your sweet self and like some have said ignore her and just don't go out of your way. Be civil and go about your business . Her loss.

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