favoritism

[Necee419]

Originally Posted by hle_625

This is a very touchy subject for me bc Im going through it right now but in a different way then you are explaining. (this could be long)

Ive been with my hubby for a total of 5 1/2 years and weve been married for a little over a year. Well last year around christmas time, my brother in law met this girl...my bil is 23 and she was 19 at the time. Well she had a little girl already that was 1 at the time but she is now 2. Well Amber (my bil's girlfriend) ended up getting pregnant just shortly after they started dating. Well me and my hubby dont have children yet (we are only 21) so this will be the first grandbaby on my husbands side of the family. Well I have noticed a HUGE change in my mother in law since she found out that she was going to be a grandma for the first time.

Let me go back to when Amber found out that she was first pregnant. They were at MY house and she told me that her and Kevin were goign to have a baby, and how she is soooo excited bc this will be the first grandbaby for his side of the family, and the first grandbaby is the most important That really hurt my feelings bc here I've been with my hubby for this long and been a part of his family for this long and now this girl just steps in! Needless to say its been a LONG seven months (shes due in November) All I hear about is the baby this and the baby that. And everyone is buying all of this stuff for her bc she quit her job when she found out she was pregnant bc she wants to be a stay at home mom. And now my inlaws are constantly asking me and my hubby when we are going to give them a grandbaby! Its so frustrating....we are so young and have a very long time to think about babies!

Also last Sunday we were at my inlaws house and my mother in law bought them a stroller/carseat combo and they were putting it together. Well my mother in law told my brother in law that when they were done using it for their baby, to make sure to keep it so that I could have when I have a baby someday!!! I almost cried bc here she is spending 100's of dollars on the "first" grandbaby and she is already talking about giving me nothing but hand me downs. Dont get me wrong I dont think there is anything wrong with hand me downs I just think its unfair for her to be treating me like this when I dont even have kids yet.

Ok and one more thing....(sorry its so long I told you this was a touchy subject for me) When me and Adam got married his family did not give me one bridal shower or a bachelorette party or anything of that sort. And now they are giving Amber this really nice baby shower next weekend. My feelings are so hurt over this and I'm not going to the baby shower bc of this reason! I have cried and cried over this whole situation. Will you guys tell me if I am being selfish about all of this. Im really hurt about it all

You have absolutely every right to feel slighted. They are treating you like the stepchild right now and that must be very hurtful. But, even though you feel upset I think it would be a mistake not to go to the baby shower. IMO this would make you look petty, jealous, envious and not a part of the family. Granted I would NOT want to go either but this is your husband's family and you will be around them so why do something to make things even more uncomfortable and awkward for you. Babies are a HUGE deal, and my mom is always asking when hubby and I are giving her a grandbaby so I totally understand why your inlaws are excited. However, they should be a bit more sensitive to your feelings. I am sorry you are so upset and I hope things ease up for you. Hugs

[Janet]

I just get so upset when I hear of favortism among children. Bless their hearts, it stays with them for life and it just breaks my heart. This should never be allowed to happen in families, sports, school, anywhere. They are all special and we as adults need to make sure they feel that way...I know, with some it takes a little extra effort, but they are going to be leading us one day and we'd better do something about it now.

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Janet

I just get so upset when I hear of favortism among children. Bless their hearts, it stays with them for life and it just breaks my heart. This should never be allowed to happen in families, sports, school, anywhere. They are all special and we as adults need to make sure they feel that way...I know, with some it takes a little extra effort, but they are going to be leading us one day and we'd better do something about it now.

I agree with you 100%
A child never ever forgets, it stays with them and it's hard to shake it off, ive been there and still am, and it's a lousy feeling!

I can't even favour one of my fur kids over the other, it's just not fair, and would hate to hurt anyones feelings!!

[Janet]

I agree with you too, Mandy. Put on that brave face and attend the shower. My situation was a little different in the fact I couldn't conceive. All those baby showers were so hard on me, but if and when the Good Lord blessed me with a child (and he did) I wanted them to be sincerely happy for me too.