Family is disappearing

[DianaB]

Wow, Shada!!!! I can't imagine growing up like that. I bet that it was really difficult and trying to explain to any one, well, I'm sure it was confusing. Writing a book might be an interesting idea!!!!

[Tiramisu]

I've had a sad realization with the death of my Mom, that there are people I'll never see again. We only saw some people at funerals anyway. I am now the oldest person in my immediate family and I just don't want the position! I went to visit my Mom about every other month and she came to spend most holidays with me, but won't go visit my sister or brother that often, so that connection will be lost.

I'm feeling like I've lost my home place.

[Janet]

That's a great idea Diana. Maybe something early summer or early fall would be a good time to plan something and then invite everyone. I'll have to do some more thinking on this. Holidays do make it bad sometimes for everyone out of state, but a mini-vacation might work. Hmmmm.

Sandy, that is exactly how I feel. When Mother's passing happens, I doubt there will be any get togethers with my two brothers. Maybe my older one, but very doubtlful for the younger one.

[Emmsmom]

Well I am in the very same boat. Without going into detail I really only have my grandmother left on my side of the family. We have been going back home for cookouts, and thanksgiving off and on for years. My DH's aunt is the one that held all of the get togethers. My DH's mom and dad would go over there as well but his 4 brothers and 1 sister never do. We NEVER go over to his mom and dad's for Christmas or Thanksgiving. He doesn't get a long well with his brothers and sister at all. Anyway my daughter LOVES going over to the farm for these get togethes. Now his aunt is dying and isn't expected to live through the week. I can't help but thinking that what little family that we do have left will be gone. The get togethers will stop I am sure once she dies. It wil be really hard on her kids I am sure.

I can certainly understand how you feel. When you don't have a large family to begin with it sure is hard to face.

[Janet]

It really is hard to face, even at this age. When hubby and I first met, he had such a huge family. His family was a his/hers/ours family. He even had all the grandparents which was totally new to me, because mine had passed right before or shortly after I was born, so I never new what grandparents were like. His were wonderful and I loved them so much.

Then of course as time goes on, the kids marry, move away, come back for visits, but then start having families of their own and it makes it harder. I understand completely, but it's just hard knowing we'll most likely never see each other again unless it would be at a funeral. Crazy isn't it...people will travel to see you dead, but not when they can enjoy you alive. Sad.

[Shada]

Isn't it sad how the world is progressing?

Family and neighbors... used to be so close! Growing up all my Aunts, Uncles and their kids were at Grandma's and Grandpa's every Sunday for dinner. So many happy good memories of those times. Holiday get-togethers were huge!!

Neighbors were like family. Sit out on the porch and visit... kids running from one home to the next.. like a big family.

Family values have changed. Its sad.

[Marilyn]

Janet, sorry you are feeling sad about what is happening. We're in the same boat here. I've mentioned some of our family issues in the past. We are basically the ones at the top, our parents are all gone, and we don't get together with our siblings. Melissa married into a huge family, so the wedding pics of her and hubby with his side are amazing. When our family stood for the pics, we invited some friends to stand with us because it was just the 4 of us and her new hubby. Sad, but that's how it works sometimes.

When I was growing up, both parents came from big families, so I had a bunch of aunts, uncles and cousins, but once the older generations passed on, the families splintered off. Hubby came from a big family on his mother's side, but the same thing happened to them.

Hope you are able to pull your's together as Diana suggested. We've started inviting friends from small families who are in our same situation to join us. It's not quite the same, but at least we can help each other.