To Have or To Not Have Kids

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by pope1982

Pony, I just wanted to offer my support in saying, I know exactly what you are going through. We go through the same thing daily!

Good luck in your decision making, what will be will be Try not to drive yourself too nuts during your free spirited time if having children is in your future. Take it easy.

Thanks pope. I'm not saying I don't want a child because I've always wanted children. But I have to think about what kind of life this child will have in the current society. Society has changed so much since I was a child (I am 28). In fact it has changed so much since I graduated from college 6 years ago. I just can't help, but remember the issues I went through & how they have been compounded in the last 10 years by the downslide of our society. I can't know what world we will be living in in 10 years 20 years, but if the current state is of any indication it will be bad. How can I bring something I love more than anything into a world that could be miserable & full of fear & pain. I've searched & asked for a better reason to procreate than the fact I really want to or society expects me too. This one choice will affect the life completely of another human being. It's an extremely hard decision in the current state of affairs.
I am young & i have 5-7 years to make this decision. It's just hard. I know I would love a child & give the best life I possibly could, but would that be enough. A lot of the people in my parents generation wanted to have children to give them a better life than they had. I'm not sure a better life exists anymore.

[Janet]

How can I bring something I love more than anything into a world that could be miserable & full of fear & pain. I've searched & asked for a better reason to procreate than the fact I really want to or society expects me too. This one choice will affect the life completely of another human being.

The only real answer I have to your questions is...your child may be the child that leads us to something better....he/she may be the one to make all the difference. If it's meant to be...you'll know.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

Thanks pope. I'm not saying I don't want a child because I've always wanted children. But I have to think about what kind of life this child will have in the current society. Society has changed so much since I was a child (I am 28). In fact it has changed so much since I graduated from college 6 years ago. I just can't help, but remember the issues I went through & how they have been compounded in the last 10 years by the downslide of our society. I can't know what world we will be living in in 10 years 20 years, but if the current state is of any indication it will be bad. How can I bring something I love more than anything into a world that could be miserable & full of fear & pain. I've searched & asked for a better reason to procreate than the fact I really want to or society expects me too. This one choice will affect the life completely of another human being. It's an extremely hard decision in the current state of affairs.
I am young & i have 5-7 years to make this decision. It's just hard. I know I would love a child & give the best life I possibly could, but would that be enough..........

Yes, things have changed a lot in our society and it is a cause for concern. My kids are not a part of the problem though. My husband and I put a lot of time and effort raising our children and I can honestly say that my children are a benefit to our society. They are all hard-working, honest Christian people. I've never had a problem with any of them drinking or doing drugs. They've never spent the night in jail and never been on welfare.

We've learned to have our fun in simple ways and boy, do we enjoy having fun! My family in turn shares what we have with other less fortunate children, often taking friends with them on trips or we invite them to be a part of the fun that we're having, swimming, ice skating, or sledding. Several of members of my family have teach classes in our church that work with children that don't have much of a homelife and, yes, sometimes we do make a difference.

Do I worry about the future and how it will affect my family? Yes, I do, but I also like to think that my family affects the little piece of the world that surrounds them.

Originally Posted by Ponyup

...........A lot of the people in my parents generation wanted to have children to give them a better life than they had. I'm not sure a better life exists anymore.

What's a better life? Having so many "things" that we don't appreciate what we have? Sometimes we have to step back and look at what we "really" want to give our children. Here's what I want my children to have.......

1. First and foremost, a relationship with God. What is life if you don't have God in it?
2. I want my children to know how much their parents love them. I tell them all the time and I try to show them.
3. I want them to know that hard work pays. When you work hard for the money that you've earned then you take care of what you have because YOU worked for it. I don't want them to expect Mom and Dad to pay their way. We help out occassionally but we've taught them to work hard and pay their own way.
4. I want my children to make good choices in life. We tried to teach them that you reap what you sow with your choices. You want to have credit card debt then it's up to you to pay it off. You want to drive too fast then you pay for the higher insurance. Good choices, just like bad choices reap their benefits too.
5. I want my children to know that they don't have to do or have what "everyone else" has or does. I want them to be able to step away from a crowd and say no.
6. I want my children to be able to have good clean fun. Sometimes we play as hard as we work!!! We always have fun that even the little kids can be a part of.

I've got a little girl that I'm babysitting today that just got here. I'm sorry that this is so long. If I think of more I'll add it later. I hope that I've given you a different point of view. Love ya'--Diana

[HALEY]

There is never a "right time" to have a child, but once you do, believe me you'll never regret it!! I got pregnant on my honeymoon, and my marriage is not the greatest, but one thing that My husband and i will NEVER regret is having Micah, he was my gift from God.. and i'll love him forever, just wait till you hear your child say Ma Ma for the first time. it's wonderful!! and everyday is a learning experience for you, to see your childs face light up wen he discovers something new, or when you teach them itsy bitsy spider for the first time, he still amazes me everyday.. I love being a mom....
Yes you will have your ups and downs, and money will be tight ... and the economy will go up and down. the world changes everyday and we have no control over it.. so why dwell on it...
Just put your trust in God and he will lead you to where you are suppose to be.
Good Luck girl.....