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Old 09-10-2008, 01:24 PM   #1
bettyboop
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Originally Posted by celstu1 View Post
I am very glad you are listening to everyone and their stories and opinions. Its important to see this from all angles. I think that in your case, as well as mine, there is a fine line between love and obsession. Make sure its love.

Him coming at 3am does not constitute love, my ex did wonderful things for me through the years, but the overall picture told a different story. I guess in his own messed up way he loved me. He probably loved me more than he'll ever love anyone else, but still not enough to sustain a relationship forever. Make sure you SEE this.

After we broke up, I bought my own house, new car, am back in college to finally finish my degree. He bought me a coach pocketbook one time (nice right??) and then said "it will probably be the only one you'll ever have cuz you can't afford them" ... haha well I have 3 now, and 2 I bought myself. Thats not the point though I guess his 'presents and gifts and kindnesses' came at a cost to my self-esteem. Back then I thought "Hes so great to do this for me or that for me" but looking back I realized all I had to put up for those little moments of kindness.

I met a GREAT guy earlier this year, we've been together 8 months now. Hes PERFECT for me. I LOVE HIM sooo much I can't picture my life without him. YET, i know if he were to walk I wouldn't die. I wouldn't fall apart. He is not my other half, he does not complete me. I took MANY MANY years to complete myself. He makes me stronger, he makes me kinder, he makes me softer, he accentuates ME. He makes my life BETTER. I make my life whole and complete. This is sooo important (in my opinion) to remember. Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to people. Two wholes make a healthy, happy, wonderful relationship! Become whole on your own. Realize your worth. When yo do that and you still want this guy, then go for it. But if he does not improve on himself while you do then you won't want him anymore, guarantee that! (((HUGS)))

while i agree with you on many things, im going to have to disagree with you on the 3 am thing.. that is a sign of love because he would never do that for anyone else other than his family.. doing sacrifices like that shows signs of love IMO.. would you wake up at 3am and drive 30 minutes to someones place just to comfort them in their time of need? the answer is prob no unless you really cared about the person otherwise you might just comfort them over the phone (well thats me anyway..). i was just giving little examples of what hes done.. hes done a lot of other huge things for me (just like im sure your ex did for you).

You said: "I guess in his own messed up way he loved me. He probably loved me more than he'll ever love anyone else, but still not enough to sustain a relationship forever. Make sure you SEE this."

This is true for me as well and I am definitely thinking about things youve said.. so thanks once again.
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Old 09-10-2008, 02:34 PM   #2
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celstu1 ......What wonderful advice you gave in Post 31.

Wish you the best with this bettyboop
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Old 09-15-2008, 04:39 AM   #3
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bettyboop - just checking in to see how you are doing today?
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Old 09-22-2008, 07:57 PM   #4
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bettyboop - just checking in to see how you are doing today?
hey im doing better thanks.. been taking a long break from everything.. thanks for asking
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Old 09-23-2008, 07:17 AM   #5
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hey im doing better thanks.. been taking a long break from everything.. thanks for asking
Maybe that's just what the doctor ordered for you, a beak from everything... let us know everything works out for you.
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Old 09-23-2008, 09:20 AM   #6
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Yes, please keep us posted on how things are going.
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