Losing a friend

[celstu1]

Lindsay, Ive had this happen to me many many times. Guy friends who have such low self-esteem that when they get an overbearing girlfriend (like they usually do) then they drop you like a sack of potatoes because she is jealous. I was best friends with this guy for 7 years. He met this girl and introduced her to me. She proceeded to say things like him & I should get married, she knows where he can buy me a ring etc... stupid stupid stuff. I used to tell her constantly that we are not like that, we are JUST FRIENDS. Always were JUST friends, always would be JUST friends. Eventually their relationship took off and they got married. I was told at the wedding that I couldn't hug him because she would flip out. His mom came up to me and told me she wished it was me up there with him. Anyways, the wedding was the last time I heard from him. After that she had him hook, line and sinker and all he wanted in his life was to be loved. He would do ANYTHING to not be single again, including giving me up. This has happened with a few guys friends I have had.

Ever hear of the reason, season or lifetime theory of friends? Maybe your friendship with him has come to an end because you both got what you needed from that friendship. There was a reason you were friends and once that reason is accomplished the relationship is severed.

I'm sorry though, I know how much it does hurt.

[celstu1]

To add a bit more, the reason for the friendship may have been that you were the one who would push him into dating this girl and maybe she is his soulmate. You never know really what the reason was, but its an accomplishment. Unfortunately in theory there is no reason to continue in any kind of relationship.

I know with my guy friend that got married, he lives in my town now, has 2 kids, still married. If were to show up at my door and said Im sorry I know I treated you badly I'd say 'You sure did. Want a beer? Come on in. Whats up?' I am angry at him for sure. I still love him like a friend. Its been about 6 years since Ive talked to him.

When you love someone let them go, if they come back, it was meant to be. Don't hold onto the anger though, I mean you'll be angry for awhile, its just like going through a breakup. Emotionally it will take its toll. It will pass though. Keep that door slightly open in case he comes back and apologizes. If you carry around all this anger and hurt, its only going to hurt you, not him or her.

[Lindsey]

I have never heard that theory, but I like it. I've been through enough breakups now that I don't NEED him there to help me get over it. I do have other friends.. not many that I feel THAT close to, but still enough. And I'm kind of glad I don't have to deal with his (well, her) drama anymore. I really got sick of listening to him complain about her all day every day.
I liked having him around to always have a guy's opinion on things. But when I think about it, he rarely gave me his real opinion anyway. If I asked what he thought about a new boyfriend, or potential boyfriend, he'd say he loved them, they were great. Then after getting my heart broken it was "I saw this coming, I knew he wasn't right for you, I could tell form the start" and I would say "Why didn't you tell me before?" and he would say "Because you liked him and you were happy"