I am single

[Lindsey]

So yesterday when we had our talk he was like "I'm going to be so lonely at lunch. Seeing you for every lunch was like the only thing that could get me through the day" and he started crying. Later, after everything was said and done, I got home and he texted me saying "I would still really like it if you would come over for lunch" and I said "I can't right away. We need a break for awhile" and he said "Oh."
This morning I got to work and he had already emailed me asking how I'm doing and how my night was, and that everything sucks for him and he doesn't know how to deal with it. I replied, but kind of just answered his questions, and then he asked if he should just leave me alone because it seems like I don't want to hear from him anymore. I told him I'd love to be his friend, I meant what I said, but that the transition from dating to friends is going to be a lot harder on him if we don't take a break at all.
His sadness is just breaking my heart. I know my feelings are more important, and I feel like my life has moved on and I was over him before the relationship was done, so there is no getting back together, but I just wish he could get over me faster I've been in his shoes and I know it sucks and I know it hurts and I hate that I made someone feel that terrible.

[gja1000]

Yes, of course you hate it that you have hurt him - but it is the way it has to be and they are HIS feelings to deal with. You are not responsible for him working through his feelings. I know you hate it that you had to hurt him, but you had to do it, there was no other way.

[DianaB]

There is just not an easy way to break up with someone. I'm sorry that things didn't work out.

[HALEY]

Be glad its over Lindsey, when you get married and have kids it only gets worse for you girl, look for a guy you can openly talk to, that's so important in a relationship.. i miss the days Mike and i use to talk, theres not to much anymore. all we talk about is the baby. and i'll take that for now.

[celstu1]

Oh man! I do know how hard it is to break up with someone. Its almost as bad as being broken up with. It will get easier for you Lindsay! Kyle will get through it also, he is an adult and he'll realize one day that even though you are a great person, you and him didn't have or make the greatest couple. Its ok though! (((HUGS))) to you! I hope you still feel strong and secure in your decision!

[Lindsey]

I still know I made the right decision, but it sucks that he's sooooooooo sad, he said he hasn't eaten in days and if he does he throws up and he wishes he could have changed something and blah blah blah... I don't know, it's just really tough. I'm used to being dumped, not dumping someone. I know exactly how he feels. I do miss him, but I think I miss him out of the habit of being with him constantly. I had a dream last night that his family hated me for making him so sad!!

[celstu1]

These are the things he shouldn't be telling you You already feel bad, you don't need to know the details of what his sadness is doing to him. It's not fair to you. You should tell him that soon you guys will need to not talk for awhile, a month or so... just to get used to not leaning on each other. Its a hard adjustment, but there is one thing he needs to realize, the one who caused him the pain (no offence) cannot be the one to fix his pain. In other words you comforting him from the pain of you breaking up with him will not help him in anyway at all to move on.

[judy]

Originally Posted by Lindsey

I still know I made the right decision, but it sucks that he's sooooooooo sad, he said he hasn't eaten in days and if he does he throws up and he wishes he could have changed something and blah blah blah... I don't know, it's just really tough. I'm used to being dumped, not dumping someone. I know exactly how he feels. I do miss him, but I think I miss him out of the habit of being with him constantly. I had a dream last night that his family hated me for making him so sad!!

It does suck to break up with someone. I ended my second marriage. It was one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do. According to him, I broke his heart, which broke mine.

At the end of the day, I will always feel guilty and sad for hurting somebody I have loved for years. I am now happy though. I could not have been happy had I stayed with him.

It does get easier, especially if you break contact as much as possible with him.

I'm sorry you're going through this Lindsey. You'll be happy in the end.

[pope1982]

I am glad you finally feel better, but you know me and that fact that I have to say, what took you so long!? The way you spoke about your relationship when I first joined, it seemed like it has been done for you for a while, or at least you knew exactly where it was headed which I hate to say, sounds like you guys were stringing one another along for fear of being alone...

At least now you each have the chance to move on. I agree these aren't the type of things he should be burdening you with, but I was sort of stunned to read "blah blah blah" towards the end of your last post.
The ladies are right, for now, do not except his phone calls. Cut all ties as difficult as that may seem for the sake of both of your mental well being.
Good luck Lindsey, I hope things start looking brighter for the both of you, and one day it is possible for you to have your friend back!