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Old 11-11-2008, 11:57 AM   #1
pope1982
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Wording

After dissecting them and each issue is resolved involving these invitations, I ship the draft along to the next group of unsuspecting guinea pigs lol
I have been working on these for about a week now... I get lost in the spelling, and after a while the words don't make much sense anymore, so I have to walk away and recruit fresh eyes.

Any opinions on a better word for "image" here? Or any other suggestions?
The section I am currently driving myself nuts with in bold;
(I changed some of the important details for safety purposes, not to mention the guest list is strictly 50!)

The honor of your presence is requested.
Me and
Him
celebrate the beginning of our new life
together as we are joined as husband and
wife.

The harmony of love meets with the melody
of life joining the reverie of captivating images
and compositions of the tranquil sea

Sunday, the first of March
Two thousand and nine at
seven o'clock in the evening via
The Big Fancy Aquarium.
Cocktails, intimate seated dining and
merriment will follow.
A once in a lifetime opportunity to admire our
charming aquarium prior to the ceremony
-free of charge-
is encouraged. If so desired, please instead
arrive a quarter to six. We ask all of our
guests to please report to the staff entrance
upon arrival.
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Old 11-11-2008, 04:19 PM   #2
judy
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It is beautiful. I love the "The harmony of love meets with the melody
of life."

"joining the reverie of captivating images and compositions of the tranquil sea"
is also beautiful, but doesn't relate to getting married like the beginning does. But, if you keep it the way it is, it is very lovely.
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Old 11-12-2008, 07:30 AM   #3
Janet
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I think it's very nice too. You're good at this pope.
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:18 PM   #4
Marilyn
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One suggestion. Around here, the formal invitation would not include the details you are showing about the reception and the arrival details and suggestions. The invitation would give the basic information with any frills you may wish to use. There would be a second sheet with directions, details and suggestions with regard to the aquariam. The invitation itself would read something like this:

Me
and
Him

request the honor of your presence in
celebrating the beginning of our new life
together as we are joined as husband and
wife.

The harmony of love meets with the melody
of life joining the reverie of captivating images
and compositions of the tranquil sea


Sunday, the first of March
Two thousand and nine at
seven o'clock in the evening via
The Big Fancy Aquarium.


Cocktails, intimate seated dining and
merriment will follow.


The other information would be on the other coordinating card that would be enclosed behind the invitation. The beauty of this is that it is your wedding and you can do it any way you want!! These are just suggestions as you requested.

Wishing you the very, very best!!!



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