Seems like I am forever single.

Hi everyone! I am new to the forum, but looking for some advice.

So here is the story .... I am 33 years old and ended a bad five year relationship back in March. I know, this was a relationship that should have ended two years ago, but I guess I was not a strong enough person to leave the situation. I have definitely learned from that experience. So I moved out of the shared house and back into my parents house. Quickly after I moved in with my parents, a friend of the family wanted to date me - so I did and after 6 months that ended, right around Halloween. I was devastated at first, but I have gotten over it. I have been single for two months and concentrating on me - I go to the gym 5 nights a week, etc, but there is still that void - honestly I do not want to be alone and I keep thinking that I want to be married and start a family. And to be perfectly honest, I do not want to be single, but I feel like I am in this weird place I cannot get out of. The worse thing is, all of my friends just got married about 2 to 3 years ago and are starting to have babies so needless to say I have no partners in crime to go out with. Everyone talks about Internet dating and I have tried that too, but I just do not like that.

I guess my big question is..... has anyone felt like this.... .like you will be single forever and that life that you long for is just not happening for you?

[Gina]

Hi Nikki and I want to say welcome to our forum, you come to the right place there are so many wonderful women here who give great advice.

First I am sorry that your relationships have not worked out. Don't despair you are still a young woman. I am not in your shoes for I am married a long time but I like to give you my input. I believe when you are not looking you will meet Mr. Right. Marriage is wonderful don't get me wrong , when you meet the right one. There are so many divorces. You want to be sure before you take the plunge. Just don't marry someone just to be married. I know you are probably feeling your biological clock ticking. Enjoy being a single woman doing things that you probably never did.. Take up hobbies, travel if you have a friend to do so. Live life to its fullest.

You have been in a long term relationship, then got involved right after with someone new and that didn't work out. Continue to do things that you enjoy, volunteer working around kids that don't have family. There is so much out there.. Trust me when you are not looking you will find him. I know women who have met their spouses later on in life..

Good luck and stay aboard...

[DianaB]

You've been in two relationships fairly recently in the past and my recommendation is to take time and take care of yourself. You're not ready to move into another relationship yet. Finding peace and happiness within yourself is important, not finding your happiness in another relationship. Don't let your happiness hinge on whether you have a man in your life or not.
My daughter went through a time just like you're talking about. Her friends were married and having children and she had dated a couple of guys but things didn't work out. She finally dated a guy that she had plenty of warning about but decided to date him anyway (because she felt like anyone was better than no one). She moved in with him and they had problems but she ignored them and they eloped in October (we knew about it ahead of time). She didn't know him as well as she thought that she did and we have dealt with his being an alcoholic and addiction to prescription drugs. We found out that he owes thousands in fines and fees for being arrested. He's dealing with court stuff now and will be spending time in jail, which is a long story in it's self. They've been married two months now.

I guess that my advice is that there are worse things than being single. There is someone who is right for you but you have to take the time to find him. Don't just think with your heart (which is what my daughter has done) but also think with your head. I don't know if you're a Christian but my best advice is to pray about the man that you'll marry. Pray that when you meet him that you'll know without a doubt that he is the one for you. I hope that I've been helpful and good luck.

[Marilyn]

Nikki, I'm another old married who married young, so have not been in your shoes, however, my mother was 38 when she married my father and then she had me, so I know that happiness can be found and children can be had when the time is right for the person. There is no set recipe for the timing of events in life that we have to follow. I'm sure my mother probably had the feelings that you are having. All her friends married and had children way before her. As others have said, take time to nurture yourself as you seem to be doing, and Mr. Right will come along when you least expect it. He may be near you now, but doesn't know you yet.

Enjoy life and let it show, some nice guy will be watching and want to get to know you. Just make sure you can recognize the trolls. Wish you the best!!

BTW, welcome to 4WT. Please stick around a while, get to know us, and let us get to know you.

[Janet]

Hi Nikki...I just wanted to welcome you. I see you posted right after Christmas. I'm sorry I didn't see your post sooner.

I can't give any better advice than the 3 ladies above me. I thought I was in love, but I think it was more of my friends were getting married and I wanted out of the house. BIG MISTAKE!

The advice from these ladies is the best!