Dinner at my house

Janet · 01-12-2009, 11:13 AM

I'm sure it won't last too long... do something funny, they can't stand it when they are mad and then made to laugh....really breaks the tension....lol.

gja1000 · 01-12-2009, 04:03 PM

Judy, I completely understand. I have a 12 year old granddaughter and sometimes I just want to throttle her

She NEVER acts out when she's with just me, but when she's at home, she can be a little twit to her parents. Makes my jaw drop to see/hear the things she does/says.

Sometimes I think they are too hard on her though - I remember picking my battles with my daughter, I let some things slide because I just didn't want to fight that battle. My daughter and sil make my gdaughter tow the line and sometimes I feel sorry for her, but I can't say anything.

Anyway, she loves you, it will be OK and she will make up with you. It may take a little time, but she'll be OK (and so will you)!

judy · 01-12-2009, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gja1000

Judy, I completely understand. I have a 12 year old granddaughter and sometimes I just want to throttle her

She NEVER acts out when she's with just me, but when she's at home, she can be a little twit to her parents. Makes my jaw drop to see/hear the things she does/says.

Sometimes I think they are too hard on her though - I remember picking my battles with my daughter, I let some things slide because I just didn't want to fight that battle. My daughter and sil make my gdaughter tow the line and sometimes I feel sorry for her, but I can't say anything.

Anyway, she loves you, it will be OK and she will make up with you. It may take a little time, but she'll be OK (and so will you)!

I know what you mean! They let her and the other two get away with things I would never allow, and then yell at them for such nonsense!

It's so good to be the Grandma and not the Mom anymore!

Janet - that''s a good idea. I will think of a funny thing to do. Thanks friend!

Marilyn · 01-13-2009, 04:52 AM

Awwww, Judy, so sorry you were put in this situation. I don't begin to know what a grandmother's role should be. I never really knew mine. One died when I was around 2, and the other had a stroke when I was probably 5 or 6 and was unable to speak after that. I'd have probably reacted similiarly to what you did given the same situation. It's hard when you can so clearly see what is happening. We're by nature fixers, and it takes real fortitude to not get involved. I don't know the best answer, however, given your history with Jessie and your SIL, it's probably best to leave it to them and just try to counsel Jessie the best you can to help her find ways to improve the situation, without her getting her feelings hurt. Not an easy task, but well worth trying.
Hugs....(((((((Judy)))))))

judy · 01-13-2009, 07:14 AM

My grandmothers were wonderful. I'm pretty sure that my Dad's mother never yelled at me (or anyone else, for that matter). I don't remember if my Mom's mother did or not. We had a large, extended family. Pretty much, whichever adult caught you doing something you shouldn't, yelled at you.

We all knew we were loved. Somehow, being disciplined meant you were loved and cared about. Different times, different values.

DianaB · 01-14-2009, 10:16 AM

You're certainly dealing with a tough situation, Judy. It's so hard to not say something when the grandchildren are acting badly. When my grandchildren were much younger I often spanked my daughter, Amy's girls, in front of her because I couldn't tolerate them acting disrespectful to their monther. As they've gotten older they know that Grandma doesn't put up with stuff like that and they respect me when they're around.

I think that in your position you could probably calmly say how disappointed that you were in McKenzie's behavior and that you thought that she loved her Mother enough to not be disrespectful. You can pile on guilt and let them know how disappointed you are in them without raising your voice or going on and on about it.

It's tough being a Grandmother!!! Good luck!!

Gina · 01-12-2009, 04:04 PM

Aww Judy girls at her age are tough. I know I went through it. Your right just be grandma leave the discipline up to the parents. I know that you meant well but grandmas role is to spoil and love only. When she is older you probably would be able to speak to her but not at her age. Don't worry she still loves you she will get over it....

01-12-2009, 11:13 AM	#1
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	I'm sure it won't last too long... do something funny, they can't stand it when they are mad and then made to laugh....really breaks the tension....lol. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

01-12-2009, 04:03 PM	#2
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	Judy, I completely understand. I have a 12 year old granddaughter and sometimes I just want to throttle her She NEVER acts out when she's with just me, but when she's at home, she can be a little twit to her parents. Makes my jaw drop to see/hear the things she does/says. Sometimes I think they are too hard on her though - I remember picking my battles with my daughter, I let some things slide because I just didn't want to fight that battle. My daughter and sil make my gdaughter tow the line and sometimes I feel sorry for her, but I can't say anything. Anyway, she loves you, it will be OK and she will make up with you. It may take a little time, but she'll be OK (and so will you)! __________________ Gayle

01-13-2009, 04:52 AM	#4
Marilyn Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 4,907	Awwww, Judy, so sorry you were put in this situation. I don't begin to know what a grandmother's role should be. I never really knew mine. One died when I was around 2, and the other had a stroke when I was probably 5 or 6 and was unable to speak after that. I'd have probably reacted similiarly to what you did given the same situation. It's hard when you can so clearly see what is happening. We're by nature fixers, and it takes real fortitude to not get involved. I don't know the best answer, however, given your history with Jessie and your SIL, it's probably best to leave it to them and just try to counsel Jessie the best you can to help her find ways to improve the situation, without her getting her feelings hurt. Not an easy task, but well worth trying. Hugs....(((((((Judy))))))) __________________ Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

01-13-2009, 07:14 AM	#5
judy Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Denver, NY Posts: 8,097	My grandmothers were wonderful. I'm pretty sure that my Dad's mother never yelled at me (or anyone else, for that matter). I don't remember if my Mom's mother did or not. We had a large, extended family. Pretty much, whichever adult caught you doing something you shouldn't, yelled at you. We all knew we were loved. Somehow, being disciplined meant you were loved and cared about. Different times, different values. __________________ *Judy*

01-14-2009, 10:16 AM	#6
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	You're certainly dealing with a tough situation, Judy. It's so hard to not say something when the grandchildren are acting badly. When my grandchildren were much younger I often spanked my daughter, Amy's girls, in front of her because I couldn't tolerate them acting disrespectful to their monther. As they've gotten older they know that Grandma doesn't put up with stuff like that and they respect me when they're around. I think that in your position you could probably calmly say how disappointed that you were in McKenzie's behavior and that you thought that she loved her Mother enough to not be disrespectful. You can pile on guilt and let them know how disappointed you are in them without raising your voice or going on and on about it. It's tough being a Grandmother!!! Good luck!! __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

01-12-2009, 04:04 PM	#7
Gina Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 6,025	Aww Judy girls at her age are tough. I know I went through it. Your right just be grandma leave the discipline up to the parents. I know that you meant well but grandmas role is to spoil and love only. When she is older you probably would be able to speak to her but not at her age. Don't worry she still loves you she will get over it....

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