Dinner at my house

[judy]

Originally Posted by gja1000

Judy, I completely understand. I have a 12 year old granddaughter and sometimes I just want to throttle her She NEVER acts out when she's with just me, but when she's at home, she can be a little twit to her parents. Makes my jaw drop to see/hear the things she does/says.

Sometimes I think they are too hard on her though - I remember picking my battles with my daughter, I let some things slide because I just didn't want to fight that battle. My daughter and sil make my gdaughter tow the line and sometimes I feel sorry for her, but I can't say anything.

Anyway, she loves you, it will be OK and she will make up with you. It may take a little time, but she'll be OK (and so will you)!

I know what you mean! They let her and the other two get away with things I would never allow, and then yell at them for such nonsense!

It's so good to be the Grandma and not the Mom anymore!

Janet - that''s a good idea. I will think of a funny thing to do. Thanks friend!

[Marilyn]

Awwww, Judy, so sorry you were put in this situation. I don't begin to know what a grandmother's role should be. I never really knew mine. One died when I was around 2, and the other had a stroke when I was probably 5 or 6 and was unable to speak after that. I'd have probably reacted similiarly to what you did given the same situation. It's hard when you can so clearly see what is happening. We're by nature fixers, and it takes real fortitude to not get involved. I don't know the best answer, however, given your history with Jessie and your SIL, it's probably best to leave it to them and just try to counsel Jessie the best you can to help her find ways to improve the situation, without her getting her feelings hurt. Not an easy task, but well worth trying.
Hugs....(((((((Judy)))))))

[judy]

My grandmothers were wonderful. I'm pretty sure that my Dad's mother never yelled at me (or anyone else, for that matter). I don't remember if my Mom's mother did or not. We had a large, extended family. Pretty much, whichever adult caught you doing something you shouldn't, yelled at you.

We all knew we were loved. Somehow, being disciplined meant you were loved and cared about. Different times, different values.

[DianaB]

You're certainly dealing with a tough situation, Judy. It's so hard to not say something when the grandchildren are acting badly. When my grandchildren were much younger I often spanked my daughter, Amy's girls, in front of her because I couldn't tolerate them acting disrespectful to their monther. As they've gotten older they know that Grandma doesn't put up with stuff like that and they respect me when they're around.

I think that in your position you could probably calmly say how disappointed that you were in McKenzie's behavior and that you thought that she loved her Mother enough to not be disrespectful. You can pile on guilt and let them know how disappointed you are in them without raising your voice or going on and on about it.

It's tough being a Grandmother!!! Good luck!!