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03-30-2009, 05:03 PM
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#1 |
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Donating 4WT Talker
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 3,764
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They came here a few weeks ago for an afternoon, just because they were going to a concert here. Otherwise they've never visited him here.
I just talked to my parents about it and they were like "Did you tell her she's an angry old hag?" lol. My dad couldn't believe it. He said "When Scott comes here we treat him just like family!" and that's how I've always been treated with the families of my exes too... everyone welcomed me with open arms. But I don't even think it will matter if she does change now. The damage is done. She can't just undo that first impression. I'm not going to forget it.
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Lindsey "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it..." -Marilyn Monroe |
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03-30-2009, 06:14 PM
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#2 |
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Donating 4WT Yakker
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 5,717
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Lindsay, I just don't know what to say. I can't imagine saying anything like that to anyone at anytime - so I am dumbfounded. I don't any any advice and I'm very sorry that you are having to deal with this. I agree with whomever said that she is a sick woman.
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 Gayle
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03-30-2009, 06:34 PM
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#3 |
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Donating 4WT Talker
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 3,764
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Well he talked to his sisters about me tonight. They said I seemed nice. He said I had a problem with their mom and that I don't want to visit anymore and they basically said I need to just get over it. They said it's just a purse, it's just a dog, who cares. I care because it's insulting!!!
It's kind of affecting my view of Scott now too. A month ago I was sure this was the guy I was going to marry someday. Now I can't get over the feeling that his family will never accept me, and it's not even the kind of family I want to be a part of anyway. I don't want my future children to have that as a grandmother.
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Lindsey "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it..." -Marilyn Monroe |
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03-30-2009, 07:00 PM
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#4 |
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Donating 4WT Yakker
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 5,717
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Lindsay, my gut feeling, even though I don't have any good advice and I don't have any experience with this kind of thing is to RUN - RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!
Given a choice, I would not want to ever be a part of that family nor would I want my children to be part of that family - ever. I don't like the answers that his sisters gave, at all! It sounds to me, that they could be as callous and uncaring as his mom. Unless you all can move far far away, I would be very hesitant to subject myself to that treatment, even for a visit. Of course, that is easy for me to say. And there have been others who say they had a similar experience with a mother-in-law and it did get better. So, I'm just giving you my gut feeling, not really any advice at all.
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Gayle
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03-30-2009, 07:34 PM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 673
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Sadly, our situation has never improved. The way we handle it has
I'm never one to sugar coat, it is is a lot of work. Definitely high maintenance and a huge sacrifice but when you truly love someone, sacrifice is easy. My new MIL didn't even attend our wedding. When I hand delivered her the invitation on Thanksgiving, I was told to stick it up my ass because she couldn't get her way with OUR wedding  It was embarassing, degrading and the last shot I am giving a relationship with her because every time I try, I get kicked harder when she snaps out of the front she is putting up because she is using me to get info about her son and our life together (he's a smart man, keeps his distance. I am the dummy that kept falling for her guilt trips and wanting the relationship to work so badly I put myself in the line of fire) Oh well, it was the best night of our lives to spite her.  Well, I guess I shouldn't say it hasn't improved, because in a way it has. She used to call 3 times a day to ask him what he had eaten, what he was doing... etc. Now it is quiet and peaceful, until the holidays roll around *sigh* Our children will not know this dysfunction, I told my husband long ago I will not subject them to the brain washing and the mental torture. He agrees it is our choice and we have to do what is best for our family. It is not the ideal family life I'd always envisioned, but like Judy said, you are building your own family. Besides, life is 10% how you make it and 90% how you take it. Last edited by pope1982; 03-30-2009 at 07:38 PM. |
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03-30-2009, 08:05 PM
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#7 |
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Donating 4WT Talker
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 3,764
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Thanks pope! I love that quote, "life is 10% how you make it and 90% how you take it." He just called his mom to talk about her resentment towards me. I'm getting the info on the conversation right now... in Scott's words: "my mom said she is sorry ... she didn't mean to make you feel that way. and both of them liked you ... polite, you played cards .. and you even offered to help .. but as my parents have always told me ... when i bring friends over... if they don't talk and tease... they don't like ya.. my mom thought you were great and she liked that you were tall..." Okay but it wasn't just teasing, it was insulting! My dad teased Scott about practicing playing some pool before he comes back, and that's normal teasing. Telling someone that things they own are ugly, the way they have raised their dog is disgusting, they are uneducated because they went to a small town school, that's not just teasing. Now he said that she told him that nothing she said was meant to hurt me, but next time she will be more careful about what she says, and that she hopes there is a next time. I don't know what to think now. Is she really serious or just trying to make Scott not be mad at her anymore?
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Lindsey "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it..." -Marilyn Monroe |
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