I'm just so tired.....

[Janet]

Marilyn....as you well know...sometimes we all go through a bit of depression. Maybe you should have a good check up with your family Dr. to rule out any problems with your health and then tell him how you're feeling. I hope you feel better and happier soon.

[Marilyn]

On thing that has been depressing me is my left hand. I knew something was wrong with it a couple of weeks after the surgery. I kept putting ice on it, but it's still swelling some and I can't bend my wrist like I should. Yesterday, I went to Houston for a followup checkup, and I do have swelling in the wrist joint. They called it edema. I have to take steroids for a week and get some physical therapy. Now that I know what's wrong, and we have a plan of action, I do feel better.

Also, hubby went with me yesterday, so we got to spend some time together and did a lot of talking. I do feel some better now. I had blood work an ekg and such at the end of May and checked out healthy, so I know it's just stress from a lot of things. Just trying to get things done and get through this. I just feel like there's never any time to just chill.

I'm trying to get everyone to go tubing on the river the first weekend in August, but I seem to be the only one excited about doing it, and that in itself is depressing. We always have so much fun, and I don't see why everyone else isn't excited at the idea. Oh, well, this too will pass.....

I feel like a big baby. Just have to get over this and move on!!!

[judy]

Have you thought about keeping a journal, Marilyn? Sometimes it is very helpful t write down your feelings.

I'm not a great believer in just "getting over it" for myself. I need to "go through it before I can get through it." I need to feel whatever I feel and work it all out.

I'm also a great believer in saying no. I do not allow stress in my life it possible.
Of course, when I was a young woman, I did as much as I could do in one day, and then began it all over again the next day. When I felt worn out though, all I got was feeling worn out. I didn't get kudos for all of my effort. A lot of what I did was for myself, and that felt great, but I cut back on doing so much for others.

I'm not selfish. I just take very good care of myself.

[Janet]

Good advice in many of the posts. I hope you start feeling better soon Marilyn.

[Janet]

Marilyn......are you feeling any better?

[HALEY]

The past two or so years she's been home, either pregnant or taking care of her little girl who will be 1 in August. I envy her. She gets to be home all day with her little girl. Go shopping when she wants, watch TV when she wants, work on crafts or whatever.

Maryilyn, you envy this woman! oh my, when i was home with Micah on maternity leave i don't remember having time to go shopping, watch tv or work on crafts! Micah was up every 4 hours! when he slept i either slept or was washing tons of baby clothes or cleaning the house.. when you talk to her again please let me know her secret.. LOL... anyways i do hope you are feeling better today. as everyone already told you, you really need to learn to say NO to some of these people that are pulling you in so many directions.. you need some Maryilyn time!!!

[Marilyn]

I'm feeling a bit better. And yes, I have great envy for anyone who is able to afford the luxury of staying home with their children. I was never able to do so. As soon as the doctor said I was well enough to return, it was back to work. Since graduating from high school, I've either been going to college or working all but 6 months of the time. When in college, I went straight through, summers and all. I was off for maternity leave and right back to work. When I was dealing with my mother and her alzheimers, going to doctors and in the nursing home, I was working fulltime and raising two little girls with a husband who was also working more than 40 hours. Mother became ill in 1995 and passed away in 2000. In 1995 my oldest was 10 and youngest was 8.

So after all of this, I'm a bit bitter when I hear women who do not work outside the home complaining about all they have to do. I wanted so badly to be home with our children, but we never could afford for me to do so. Now we can't afford for me to retire. It never ends!!!

Work all your life for what??? I can cry real easily thinking of all the things that I missed out on. People say we have choices in life. Well mine were made for me.

You hit a cord. Just had to vent!!