New daughter in law woes

09-04-2009, 12:16 PM

Thanks for your kind words, I only wish I could bring her home with me more often, we live 600 miles apart! thats why I am so concerned.....I have tried my hardest to make my son aware of the problems I see, so I pray he is keeping an extra eye out, I also took my grandaughter aside before she left, and tired to convey that grandma could be there in a NY min, if she needs me, and that if anything upsets her, or she is told not to tell anyone something, that thats the first thing she needs to tell me...In front of son and new wife I made it very clear that my grandaughter is to be able to call me at anytime, and have privacy if she is needing it while we talk, since this is a whole new life for her too.
I am planning a trip up to !SURPRISE! them...very soon, so I can see how things are progressing...
I had really dreamed of my son finding a nice women that would think our lil gal was the most special thing in the world, and be the mommy she so deserves. She is such a sweet lil girl, without a mean bone in her body and the most wonderful spirit. I will not allow her to be treated any less, than she deserves to be.
I want you all to know, I do not meddle, and have never had a problem with any daughter or son in law...EVER...they are grown children and they make there own decisions, and I am here if they need me, but something like this I cannot sit back and not say a word, on my grandaughters behalf, if need be.

Janet · 09-04-2009, 12:48 PM

You rec'd great advice from Gayle and Diana. They have more experience in this than I...I have no grandchildren yet. I hope you and your son are close enough that you can speak with him one on one without him telling his wife everything that was said. He needs to keep on top of this for his daughter's sake.

gja1000 · 09-04-2009, 02:19 PM

I'm so sorry that you live so far away - but maybe you can arrange for her to visit over Christmas and summer vacations. I think that time with you can help with any problems that she may have. Your idea about being able to talk with her and letting her know she can talk to you is very important. I like the idea of the surprise visit too. I think you are doing everything you possibly can. Good luck!

Blueyes · 09-04-2009, 03:36 PM

Hey Maggie! Welcome to YT!

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time with your dil. I know you must be sick with worry about your granddaughter. Maybe you can call and talk to her every few days...or maybe you should just go get her and KEEP her!! Sorry, I know that doesn't help, but it might be worth it

gja1000 · 09-04-2009, 04:10 PM

Maggie - does your son's household have a computer? If so, maybe you could have him set up a webcam so you and your granddaughter could see each other and "talk" on an instant messaging system, like yahoo. I do that with my 12 year old granddaughter who lives 12 miles from me!!! I know your granddaughter may not know how to type on the computer yet, but she will learn FAST, if she doesn't already know.

Blueyes · 09-04-2009, 04:44 PM

Great idea Gayle!!

You could set up Skype and a webcam so you could see and talk to her at the same time...then she doesn't have to type

gja1000 · 09-04-2009, 05:08 PM

That's right, Betsi! We have used Skype too - I had completely forgotten about that!!!

09-04-2009, 12:48 PM	#2
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	You rec'd great advice from Gayle and Diana. They have more experience in this than I...I have no grandchildren yet. I hope you and your son are close enough that you can speak with him one on one without him telling his wife everything that was said. He needs to keep on top of this for his daughter's sake. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

09-04-2009, 02:19 PM	#3
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	I'm so sorry that you live so far away - but maybe you can arrange for her to visit over Christmas and summer vacations. I think that time with you can help with any problems that she may have. Your idea about being able to talk with her and letting her know she can talk to you is very important. I like the idea of the surprise visit too. I think you are doing everything you possibly can. Good luck! __________________ Gayle

09-04-2009, 03:36 PM	#4
Blueyes Donating 4WT Talker Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 2,119	Hey Maggie! Welcome to YT! I'm so sorry you're having a hard time with your dil. I know you must be sick with worry about your granddaughter. Maybe you can call and talk to her every few days...or maybe you should just go get her and KEEP her!! Sorry, I know that doesn't help, but it might be worth it __________________ Betsi

09-04-2009, 04:10 PM	#5
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	Maggie - does your son's household have a computer? If so, maybe you could have him set up a webcam so you and your granddaughter could see each other and "talk" on an instant messaging system, like yahoo. I do that with my 12 year old granddaughter who lives 12 miles from me!!! I know your granddaughter may not know how to type on the computer yet, but she will learn FAST, if she doesn't already know. __________________ Gayle

09-04-2009, 04:44 PM	#6
Blueyes Donating 4WT Talker Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 2,119	Great idea Gayle!! You could set up Skype and a webcam so you could see and talk to her at the same time...then she doesn't have to type __________________ Betsi

09-04-2009, 12:16 PM	#1
lovePINK Guest Posts: n/a	Thanks for your kind words, I only wish I could bring her home with me more often, we live 600 miles apart! thats why I am so concerned.....I have tried my hardest to make my son aware of the problems I see, so I pray he is keeping an extra eye out, I also took my grandaughter aside before she left, and tired to convey that grandma could be there in a NY min, if she needs me, and that if anything upsets her, or she is told not to tell anyone something, that thats the first thing she needs to tell me...In front of son and new wife I made it very clear that my grandaughter is to be able to call me at anytime, and have privacy if she is needing it while we talk, since this is a whole new life for her too. I am planning a trip up to !SURPRISE! them...very soon, so I can see how things are progressing... I had really dreamed of my son finding a nice women that would think our lil gal was the most special thing in the world, and be the mommy she so deserves. She is such a sweet lil girl, without a mean bone in her body and the most wonderful spirit. I will not allow her to be treated any less, than she deserves to be. I want you all to know, I do not meddle, and have never had a problem with any daughter or son in law...EVER...they are grown children and they make there own decisions, and I am here if they need me, but something like this I cannot sit back and not say a word, on my grandaughters behalf, if need be.

09-04-2009, 05:08 PM	#7
gja1000 Donating 4WT Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Central Texas Posts: 5,717	That's right, Betsi! We have used Skype too - I had completely forgotten about that!!! __________________ Gayle

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