Disappointed in my mom

[pope1982]

Support her and encourage her.
It is sad she felt she had to lie to you in the first place, she was probably afraid of your reaction so I think it was a low blow to threaten her seeing you.
You are going to have to find the strength to be around her, even if it does bother you because you cannot get the time you choose not to see her back. Running away is not the answer.

I agree that the truth of the matter is, she needs to find the strength within herself and this is her battle to conquer, she doesn't need to take you on as well.

I wish both of you luck. Her the ability to drop this nasty habit and you to have the patience, tolerance and unconditional love a wonderful mother deserves.

[Lindsey]

I don't want to keep beating this over the head because I know a lot of people think I'm wrong, but I KNOW that if I didn't say something that extreme that she wouldn't even try. I know my mom better than anyone, and she is the most stubborn person I know. Nothing would make her try unless it was something drastic. Even on the boat with my dad, he agreed it's the only thing that would work. My dad stopped smoking while my mom was still a smoker. My grandparents all stopped. It's NOT impossible.

She's now 3 days in, we have called each other every day (twice today) and she feels fantastic and hasn't even had a craving for a cigarette. My dad went to the city today to get her another package of patches, and they're following them to a T. My dad is all of a sudden being really supportive of her too. He's sharing with her what helped him when he stopped smoking, and what helped my grandpa (mints!), and I don't think he's going to back down so easily and say "Okay just go buy some cigarettes" this time like he did last time. He might say "Let's try putting on another patch until you're ready" And I know it has only been a few days but she is already feeling better. She's not having the extreme ups and downs that you get while smoking... going down down down until you get your dose of nicotine and then straight up.... then down down down until your next smoke. Even in her voice she seems happier and more upbeat. She and my dad have gone to the lake to golf every evening this week!

I guess the patches are supposed to last for 3 months. So by Christmas she will hopefully at least have herself out of the habit of having a cigarette in her hand, and going out to smoke a few times a day. I think it's really good for helping her get a new routine without also dealing with the intense withdrawl symptoms.

I can really say now that I AM proud of my mom. I have total faith that she will beat this. It wasn't the first try, it might not be the second try, but she WILL quit.

[Marilyn]

Lindsey, you know what is best for your family, and sounds like it's working. YAAAAAA!!! So hope she sticks with it and you have a wonderful Christmas together!!

[Blueyes]

I'm so glad your mom is doing well! She must be so proud of herself. It just makes a person feel better to know that they are doing what really is best for them, especially when it's so very hard.

[gja1000]

Lindsay, I'm so glad to hear that your mom is trying so hard now! You must be proud of her. I've never smoked so I don't really understand. I hope she sticks with it!

[DianaB]

Lindsey, how's your Mom doing with her smoking? or should I say NOT smoking!!

[Lindsey]

She's still doing great! At the end of last week, Adam (I mentioned him in the first post, and he smokes constantly!) went golfing with my parents, and my mom said he didn't even smoke through the whole course, unless he did it away from her. I am so happy that other people are taking it seriously too!