What's Going On........

[DianaB]

No, the house still sits as it was. I did mention that Brenda signed a contract with Althea to buy it before she died. No one knew about it but those two. Brenda has been home a couple of times but hasn't really done much about the house or the contents.

She had asked a long time ago about what the kids wanted and mine just wanted a few small things.......and Althea had some quilts that were to be given to the ones who had just gotten married and none of that stuff has been given out. I've have figured that I'm not going to get anything and as much as that hurts I've come to accept it. It just makes me furious that my kids are left out.......but that's exactly how my MIL wanted it.

There is certainly enough stuff in there that it could be shared with the whole family because she was a hoarder. I think that is why she set things up the way she did. She just couldn't bear the thought that any of her stuff was passed out. She had some real problems!

Dae Lynn and Damon invited Damon's Dad to come and look that the house they were interested in. He's offered to help on the down payment but when he got there he was a jerk. He didn't want to look at anything!! After he left Damon had crawled under the house and had some questions so he called Glen to come and look at things. It ends up that the house has termite damage......severely. The woman knew there was damage and had kept it sprayed but I don't think that she had ever crawled under there to see it. The kids ended up offering her a much lower price than what they had originally considered and she turned them down. I know that the kids are really disapointed but they know that the damage could be worse than you can see so they're feeling like they made the right decision.

I'm disappointed too. The house is a cute older home with a beautiful yard and is right on the river.....not too far from us. The house needed some work on it but was still in nice condition. Oh well.......things will work out!!!

Since Damon's Dad is willing to help with the down payment they're going to look into some other homes soon. Damon's Dad is really going through the money he got from Margaret's life insurance policy so they are probably going to get something soon or the money won't be there.

[Janet]

That's really too bad that Althea had to be that way towards your kids. I would think that Brenda could override that decision a bit and at least let the kids have something. Would she consider letting you help her go through things and take the load of work off her? Maybe she would let you keep some things for helping her out.

It does sound that Damon's dad may be going through it faster than one thinks. Not sure why he didn't even want to look at the house and be a jerk about it. Maybe he really doesn't want to help them out???

Hopefully they'll find something nice real soon. I know they are wanting their family together and I know you're wanting your house and privacy back.

[DianaB]

Damon comes from a very disfunctional family and his Dad just proved it to Dae Lynn and the woman who was selling the house. Dae Lynn was gone last weekend, if you remember, on vacation with Damon's family and she had plenty to say about the Dad!!!

I don't think that Brenda would let me help with cleaning things out. In their family being "family" means a lot. Althea was not a kind person......she was very selfish and she hurt me a lot but I can move on from it. The "stuff" was hers to do with as she chose but my family saw her for what she was and she wasn't very well liked. Althea ALWAYS had favorites and all of us could tell you who they were......her daughter's children.

I can understand getting along better with your own daughters than you do your daughter-in-laws but my grandchildren are just as much a part of her as her own daughter's children were. I hurt more for my kids than myself.....but you know what? Actually my kids don't care about her stuff!!! She cut her nose off to spite her face!!!

I know that when the girls start actually cleaning things out I will be hurt because there is just so much of it and who knows, they might ask if there's anything I would like out of what's left......but I'm not holding my breathe. Actually, I don't know if I would want Althea's things where I would look at them every day.

[Janet]

Oh Diana.....I'm so sorry this had to happen. You must be just heartsick over it all. Do you think Jason's story about the mom and son at the gas station was true? I'm really at a loss, I have no idea what to say. My family is so dysfuntional it's pathetic so I have no advice to offer. Wish this didn't happen, but since it did it's probably time for a family talk. If everyone has something to say, then maybe it's time to get it said and not on Facebook.

[DianaB]

Sorry Everyone but I deleted the post. I've been so hurt by everyone's hard feelings towards Damon and Dae Lynn and today's been a really, really bad day. I decided that maybe it was best to not air our dirty laundry after all.

Jason, Amy's husband, and I ended up at odds with each other today over a post he made on FB and we've been back and forth on the e-mail there.......and it has boiled down basically that they are jealous of the help we've given Dae Lynn and Damon. It even ended up where Jason said "Do you know how long it been since I could afford to go on vacation.." All because Dae Lynn and Damon went to Branson last weekend with his Dad paying for ALL of it......and they went to KC and went to the Schlitterbahn.......spent about $200 altogether. Jealousy!!!!

I'm so tired of all of this.......tired of people's attitudes......tired of my husband's attitude.......just sick and tired.

Janet, as far as what Jason posted.....it is probably true but was posted as a dig to Dae Lynn anyway......with that being his excuse. If you notice.....Tammy also posted a couple of things about food stamps today as well. Coincidence??? I don't think so.

[Janet]

I know this has to be so hard for you. They just don't realize that you would do the same for them if they needed it. I'm always here if you need me.

[gja1000]

Oh Diana, I'm so sorry all this is happening. I didn't realize Jason was Amy's husband. They are jealous. Jealousy is such a hurtful emotion. I wish it didn't exist. I agree with Janet, I wish he would realize that you all would do the same for them if they needed it.

I'm so sorry, this has caused a rift in your family. We all know it happens to all of us from time to time, but I just wish it didn't have to happen. I want everyone to get along and be happy to just "have" each other. It will never happen, but that's my wish.

[DianaB]

Thanks for your support, Janet and Gayle.

Yes, it is jealousy. Jason's upset because he can't afford a vacation. Dae Lynn and Damon budget for a vacation.......she saves her money for them to go places. Also the trip to Branson was paid for by Damon's Dad. How do you turn that down?......just because your sister and BIL can't afford it????

Then Amy made the comment that she was jealous that Damon bought Dae Lynn an iPad???!!!!! Amy and Jason have had help in the past from his aunt and uncle. They have given them computers and bought Jason a pickup truck. Yes, Amy and Jason's money is tight.......I don't understand why because they both have fairly good jobs. I do know in the past they haven't made good decisions in things that they've bought but as a parent you have to stand by and let them do that hoping that they learn their lesson. The 4-wheeler that we bought for them was because they were wanting one but we gave them the choice as to whether they wanted to pay bills or buy a 4-wheeler so that wasn't a good decision on their part. Should we bail them out of that? No, I don't think so......that was their decision......a poor one.

Damon and Dae Lynn have looked at a house and I think are going to buy it but we're afraid of what everyone's reaction is going to be. The house is more expensive than the other one they were looking at but it has a rental trailer house with it that will make most of their payment. Also the house is listed way below appraisal value. The woman is a friend of ours and she just lost her husband and it's just too much for her to take care of. We're just not telling anyone......including Glen......about what's going on. They'll just have to deal with their jealousy and problems. Dae Lynn and Damon have to do what's best for them.

I was in tears this morning because of a talk that Glen and Dae Lynn had last night. Dae Lynn was actually very encouraging to me. I'm going to miss her when she moves out......at least she won't be far away!!!

[DianaB]

Well.....I talked to Amy briefly yesterday and yes.....Jason put his post on FB knowing that Dae Lynn had an iPad. He DID see a woman paying with foodstamps and a child playing on an iPad so that was his excuse for posting it but it was a dig at Dae Lynn. Jason is the one who continually stirs up trouble for Damon and Dae Lynn. There is quite an argument over how much we have spent on her.....her schooling.....which she has a $20,000 loan to pay off.......there's a question about who's bought her cars.....we bought ONE.......I think that there is a LOT of jealousy and speculation going on and none of it is right and that's what's causing all of the trouble. We're going to ignore all of it and consider the source. Dae Lynn's going to stay away from Amy and Jason for awhile but as soon as they get their house it's going to all come up again.....because they are going to assume that we're helping them but we're not. Dae Lynn's not even going to tell Glen that they're buying it so he can honestly say that he didn't know anything about it. It's just sad. I'm so diappointed in my family sometimes and that's sad because they are really good people.

[Janet]

Seems to me that when Jason starts this behavior, Amy needs to remind him that Dae Lynn is her family too and that he needs to keep his mouth shut and innuendos to himself....not FB.

[gja1000]

Family!!! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. That's not really true and I guess it isn't just family, but human nature. Jealousy is such an awful vice. It's one of the 7 deadly sins (I think). Why can't people just be happy (or neutral) for others fortunes. Not that Dae Lynn and Damon are fortunate by any stretch of the imagination, they have had so many struggles. But when things go right for a change, why can people be happy or just neutral. Jealousy causes so much strife.

[Janet]

So true Gayle. I don't understand why people can't be happy for each other instead of trying to knock them down. You'd especially want you family to succeed. Then...I think of my family who I haven't heard from (even though I've contacted them) and all my logic goes right out the window.

[DianaB]

I know.....it's so sad. Amy stopped by this morning and after talking about other things I asked why Jason thinks that we bought several cars for Dae Lynn.....which isn't true (We finished paying for ONE car while she was in college) well, it brought the WHOLE thing up. Amy said that Jason was even threatening about moving because I had pointed out that we had helped them out by letting them live on our property.....and we weren't expecting any payment from them but that was our way of helping them out. The arguements are getting so childish. Amy also pointed out that Dae Lynn was trying to talk Glen into a vacation in Florida so he could scuba dive and she and the kids could tag along. I knew when she brought it up that it wasn't going to happen......but the "others" all were upset with Dae Lynn that she could sponge a vacation off of us.....which she offered to pay for her part of going. They are also upset that Dae Lynn often takes my vehicle so that I can "pay for her gas". I know that she does that and it doesn't bother me......it does bother me when she makes unnecessary trips and I do mention that. Sometimes she takes her own car which gets better gas mileage. She DOES have one of our gas cards so she's not paying for her own gas.....except for when she goes out of town with Damon. The arguement is about such piddly, stupid things like that. Amy also pointed out that it's NOT Damon that they're upset with......it's Dae Lynn.

In our discussion it was pointed out to Glen that his talking to Jason and Feyn about Dae Lynn's problems and complaining wasn't helping anything......so hopefully he's going to try and keep things either to himself or friends that aren't family......that will pray for us.

I'm ready for this to die down or get over with. I'm so tired of this. If you hear a loud noise it may be me SCREAMING my head off!!!!!

[Janet]

Go ahead and scream....I've done it and must say it actually helps...lol I'll be listening!

[DianaB]

We're trying to let things settle down. Feelings have been hurt and things have been said. I have to say that I'm very disappointed. Dae Lynn and Amy have decided to not be friends at the moment......mostly because Jason doesn't like Dae Lynn being around and having Amy's attention. They have always been best friends but I know that some men are threatened by family. This happens occasionally and it will heal over.