What Did You Do Today?

[Tiramisu]

I didn't no enough to post anything today. Glad to see you're all active. I've had a nagging headache all day, probably not drinking enough water. Back to work tomorrow!

[Janet]

Got up this morning and just didn't feel like staying home. I fixed Mom and Ricky a nice breakfast and then Ricky was off to work. Then Mom and I went to her house. She can't really walk much anymore so waited in the car while I ran in and picked up her mail. Then we went to Wal Mart. I thought Mom needed a change of scenery so we picked up a few meds and then I we just kind of went through the store.....me pushing her in her wheelchair. It really wore her out....maybe it was the short time in the heat..I'm not sure, but she came home and went straight to bed.

She did have a friend come to visit with her for about 45 minutes or so. As soon as she left...Mom wanted to go back to bed. I mostly just loafed around the rest of the day just enjoying it. Then.....Rick came home from his weekend trip....:lolol Oh well....I knew it wasn't going to last.

[gja1000]

I can understand Janet, sometimes I just can't stay at home either - and I'm gone out to work almost everyday - crazy! But you definitely need to get out of the house - I think one gets housitosis when you are cooped up too long.

I've been enjoying watching the birds in the backyard over the weekend. I kept the feeders full so they birds were thick. They empty the feeders in about a day (4 feeders) so I can't keep them full everyday or I'd go broke. LOL! Mom really enjoyed watching the birds too when she was over on Thursday and Friday. I feel very lucky to have a wonderful backyard with so many pretty birds.

[Janet]

Just wondering what kinds of birds come visit you... I have feeders up for the Hummingbirds and Gold Finches and that's all. We do see others now and then but I'm really not bird person.

[DianaB]

I'm sure that your Mom enjoyed the birds. We have feeders outside of our living room windows and enjoy seeing the birds in the winter but we don't feed them in the summer. There are plenty of other things to eat at this time so they really don't need fed. I do enjoy watching them though.

This morning I was sitting in my chair that has an ottoman and Karley made a big jump to sit down on the ottoman and hit my little toe. I think that she may have broken it!!! I heard a pop and it hurts like the dickens!!! It's a little bit swollen and I can see some bruising. I was NOT very happy with her. She acts like the house is a jungle gym and I get really tired of it. Some things are going to change around here!!!!

I sure hope that it doesn't bother me while I swim or I'm not going to be happy. At Lloyd's that's what we do.....is swim but it should be a little better by then.

Karlie did apologize to me but actually it was the second time that she had jumped on me. I'll be glad when things get a little more settled because everyone seems to get moody........me included.....and I'm tired of it!!!!

I'm so ready to go to Lloyd's this weekend. Some of my cousins are going to be there and I really enjoy being around them. I think that Glen's going to go on over to Beaver Lake and get his Scuba Certification. His instructor was from Joplin and with the tornado he hadn't bothered to contact him about getting certified but I think that this is one of the weekends that was planned. Beaver Lake is near where we'll be so it will work out well for us.

[Janet]

Hope you have a good time at Lloyds.

[Tiramisu]

Diana, sorry about your toe. Karley must be so confused with all the changes she's had in her short life.

I had a regular Monday, having a blast with match.com. Might meet one guy at a coffee shop in a couple days ... Probably won't. Just want some male conversation, NOTHING ELSE

[gja1000]

Oh Diana, I wish we were going to Beaver Lake!!! It is so beautiful there. We missed going this year due to the high water in our campground.

Janet, I'm just getting into bird watching, so I don't know some of the birds I see. We have lots of mourning doves, cardinals, mocking birds, house finches, yellow finches, sparrows, and some birds I don't know the names. I got a bird identifier for the iPad but haven't had time to really investigate. Yesterday I saw what looked like a cardinal, but it had an orange beak, orange top knot, and a greenish breast with brownish tail feathers. When I looked it up, it was a female cardinal. I had never seen one like that, it was very interesting. I also saw a fat little black, grey and white bird yesterday. It was so interesting looking and had very distinctive markings, but I haven't looked it up yet. We also had a pair of blue jays yesterday. I've seen the male before but both were here yesterday. I have a hummingbird feeder up but I only see a hummer about once every two weeks or so. I saw one Saturday and again Sunday. I wish they'd come around more.

[Janet]

Today has been a horrible day. Didn't do much because the PT came for Mom. Mom was weak when he got here and didn't want to do anything, he showed very little compassion and it made me a bit angry. Mom got through the exercises, but it wore her out and made it hard for her to catch her breath. After being on the meds to raise her BP...after the exercises it was still only 109/55.

She ate very little for lunch. My niece came out to bring Mom a small lap quilt she had someone make for her. It is so pretty and Mom really loves it. We then started talking about her shower and that she was going to have it remodeled. I showed her a shower stall that I had seen and thought of her. It wouldn't work for her bathroom she said. I asked her if she really needed to remodel the shower because of a leak.....that her Mom and Dad said it was because she gets out and shakes her hair and water everywhere. Well....I stuck my foot in my mouth again! I asked her to tell me more about her ideas and she said "no" that she had to go. She hugged Mom and left. I was following her out the door to ask what was wrong and that we should talk and she said she didn't want to talk....got in her car and left. This niece is in her 30's.....35 I think.

It had me so upset all evening and the tear just fell. My eyes still feel very swollen from crying so hard and for so long. Rick came home and just as he did I heard Mom yelling for me. It made me a bit angry because she is always yelling for me and I said "quit your damn yelling, I'm coming". Well....she got out of bed to get on the commode and her feet slipped out from under her. I yelled for Rick to come help me get Mom off the floor. He comes in and gets on his knees!!!!! I said "what the sam h-ll are you doing? You can't pick someone up on your knees". Rick always makes a bad situation worse because he has no common sense.

I got Mom on to the commode but by then it was too late. She was on the commode and also throwing up in the waste basket. So not only did I have a crap mess on the floor, her and the commode, I had to clean up vomit as well.

When I got it all cleaned up and I went to the kitchen, Rick decided to tell me he was tired of getting yelled at all the time. I told him I was tired of yelling at him for no common sense and since he was unhappy and I was unhappy we should just get the marriage overwith. I really don't remember much what was said after that because I zoned out. He did say he wanted to make it work. I told him I didn't know if it was possible and he started in saying there was too many 'things' in the house meaning Mom, that we had no privacy. I didn't know we needed privacy!

I just know when my brother Jerry and his wife come out tomorrow to give Mom her Epogen shot that something will be probably said about Dusti (my niece, their daughter). I told Mom it seems I'm alienating everyone and if she wanted to see people she should go live somewhere else. I'm so tired. Tired of all the drama, the work and life period! I honestly don't know if I want to wake up in the morning. It's all just too hard. I'm so unhappy!

[judy]

I am so sorry your day went so badly, Janet!

Is there a social worker, or a counselor you could go to talk, or maybe find a support group of caretakers? It sounds like the stress is getting really hard to deal with by yourself. Finding some ongoing support would be nice for you.

By the way, I think your niece acted like a child. She is an adult, and so what if her parents said that? It's her shower, and she can do whatever she wants. It was awfully nice of her to bring the quilt though.

[judy]

It rained yesterday, and I was so glad! We needed the rain, and I needed to stay home for a day. The sun has been so hot at the pool.

I also needed a day to myself. I truly love my summer friends, but I am finding that I am getting really bored with the pool every day. We did have a book discussion group last night, and that was very nice. We discussed "Sing You Home," by Jodi Picoult. She is a formula writer, who I would never read, except for this group. She does discuss interesting, current topics, but is a very lazy author. This book is about gay parents and that is really current. She also talks about music therapy, which is very interesting. I just started "What Alice Forgot," for our next discussion. Looks good!

I am going to my writers' group on Thursday. They all really liked my story, which made me feel wonderful! These are amazing writers, and most of them have had their work published, so when they like my writing, I feel goooood!

Today will be another pool day, which will be nice, since I had yesterday off!

I put out a hummingbird feeder, and no birds have come! It's still full. ?????

[DianaB]

Judy, sometimes it takes a while for the birds to find the feeder. Be patient.

Janet, I'm so sorry that all of this is going on. I know that life is hard for you. You've got to reach out and find some help for yourself. If things are going so badly then you really do need to consider a nursing home. You would much rather go and enjoy being with your Mom then to be resenting her and your situation. Hugs!!!

[DianaB]

Janet, here are some other forums you might be interested in.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Carin...-Parents/forum

http://www.christianforums.com/f453/

On these forums you can chat with others who are going through the same things. Love ya'!!!

http://www.helpguide.org/elder/carin...caregivers.htm

http://caregivers.supportgroups.com/

http://mikegamble.websitetoolbox.com/

[Tiramisu]

Oh, Janet, you're strong, but you need a break. Set your priorities somehow. I'm thinking about you.

[gja1000]

Judy is right, you are depressed, you are trapped in more ways that one, and you are spiraling downward. You need some relief NOW. You need a social worker in the worst way.