Venting this Time!

[Janet]

I'm sitting here at 8:00 pm, still not feeling well, when the phone rings. It's my older brother....the supposedly good one.

He wanted to know if Mom's estate was still paying the utilities since I'm buying the house. I told him of course, it will until it becomes mine, just like with any non-family member buying it. He's worried about not getting as much money from the inheritence. I know it has to be coming from his wife. The neighbors across the street called and wanted to know if it was for sale or if it was going to be rented out. Trying to make this simple is hard....his ex-wife works with my sister-in-law so I know that's why my brother called. They must have said something to her and she to my SIL, hence the phone call from my brother.

He said something about if it was going to take too long he would probably get ahold of Brad and see about putting the house back on the market. They've already signed the consent to sell to me, so I doubt that could happen, but what an a$$hole. I'm so tired of dealing with this and my family. Once all this estate crap is done....I will be too. I will no longer contact my brothers about anything. If they want to hear my voice, they can get a hold of me, otherwise, I'm done....totally done. Don't like being disappointed so much, by the same ones over and over.

Gonna be a great Christmas....I can tell already. Sorry, I know it seems like all I do is complain/cripe/*itc*, I just need it to all be over with.

[gja1000]

Janet, I'm sorry, some people can only look out for themselves. It sucks though. Although it's only my step brother, I have a similar story. He's been my step brother for 53 years so it's not like it's just a recent thing. My step dad died without a will so the house my mom lived in for over 40 years was part of the estate, she did not inherit it. Now mind you he had only owned the house 15 years when he married my mom. She lived in it and took care of it for 30 years after he died. When she had to move down here with me, my step brother decided he wanted to buy the house for his son to live in. I had told him several years previously I wanted to buy the house, but he didn't even ask me. He got a ridiculously low appraisal, asked all his blood brothers and sister, and then bought it. Each of us got a pittance - I got a share since I was adopted by his dad. He didn't keep the house 2 years when he sold it for twice what he paid US for it. I KNEW that was what he was up to. I felt the same way as you. I am done with him, I never call or contact him or go see him when I am out there. I am nice to him if he contacts me (which is only for medical advice). Like you, I am done with him. It wasn't that he made very much money, it was that he was like a snake in the grass trying to pull the wool over everyone's eyes, and get as much money as possible for himself.

Sometimes family sucks - there's no other way to say it - that's just the way it is.

[Janet]

I just don't know why it has to be this way and I know it's not for me to understand. But once it's over...I will be so glad. I want my happy back. I'm still missing my Mom of course so I'm dealing with my grief of losing her and then I walked on eggshells afterwards to keep from having arguments. No more, I'm the exectutrix and no more leaning over backwards for either of them. It's going to be the way I want it from here on out, no more compromise. Everything I do will be strictly by the advise of the attorneys. I wish it were over already...

[judy]

OMG!!! How dare he? He wants to sell it sooner because of the electricity bills?

You should have hung up on him!

[Janet]

It does suck Gayle. That is horrible what your step brother did. You said he asked his blood brothers and sisters, but since you were adopted, he should have asked you too. I just don't understand why people are like that.

After Mom passed, I held my tongue many many times with Jerry. I figured our relationship was much more important although with those times....my feelings were getting hurt. Now he just says he may have to get with my other brother and put the house back on the market????? He's forgotten who is in charge here. I will do like you Gayle....once this estate is settled...I want nothing more to do with any of them. I will be nice and civil, but will never go out of my way for them ever again. I am so totally done!

[Janet]

Originally Posted by judy

OMG!!! How dare he? He wants to sell it sooner because of the electricity bills?

You should have hung up on him!

Believe me....I wanted to hang up but knew I'd probably end up regretting it. Hopefully everything won't take much longer to get settled, I'm hoping for a couple months or less, but ya just never know with all the legal crap.

[JJJ]

How very rude

You don't have control on everything, that's common sense.

I know what you mean about family. Once my brother in law asked me to lend him money for rent because they were ready to evict them. I told him I would write a check to the leasing office. Years went by and I didn't even see $20. Years later he went to jail and my sis told me to lend her one more check for the rent. She said that this one she will hold responsible. It's been atleast three years and still no money. I have never thrown it in her face and I am more than happy to buy her kids presents. But it does piss me off. I know she's very poor, especially for sticking with him. But it does pisses me off seeing her in new clothes instead of trying to pay of her dues. Atleast buy my boys something to make up for it.

Janet just have your attorneys take care of everything.

[Janet]

I will be checking with the attorney tomorrow. I just hate having to go in an ask such things and make my family look bad....even though I'm not the one doing it. I just want the estate to be settled so life can get somewhat back to normal.

[JJJ]

I'm sure everything well come out well.

[DianaB]

Sorry I didn't see this sooner!!! I can't believe that!!! It won't cost him hardly anything for three months of utilities!!! What is with people???

[Janet]

It will cost approx. $40 for him and the same for Brad for one month of total utilities. I'm just going to go ahead and use our home equity account and then pay it off once the estate is settled. Then everything will be over with..including my relationship with them.

[gja1000]

The money is not the issue, they are just being asses! I know you'll be glad when it is all over.

[Janet]

Thing is I would be glad to pay them back for the utilities, it would be much easier for me financially, but it's just not worth the hassle.

I haven't heard from either of my brothers since Jerry called that Friday before Christmas, but then again .....they haven't heard from me either.

[DianaB]

If anyone else were buying the house it would still take time and they'd still be paying for utilities and the house might not sell for months!!! They are just being a pain in the butt!!!! I'll be glad for you when this is all done!!!

[Janet]

Thanks......I spoke with the attorney today and she said they were just being a$$holes.....lol. She's quite blunt and I really like her. She also said not to worry about anything, they have signed their releases and I'm the Exectutrix, they really have no say so since there was a will.