husband's brother is coming

Chandra Amaya · 04-07-2007, 06:03 AM

Ok it's not exactly a vent but I thought it fits here better than anywhere else. My husband's younger but bigger brother is coming in today. I have only met him in person once. He was quiet & it was brief but he seemed ok. This was 3 years ago. He is always nice on the phone but quick & to the point. I feel awful though. My husband adores this man (they are only like 18 months apart). I don't like him not because of what I have seen but because of the stories I have heard. He did take some of my husbands things that he had planned on going back to get when he moved in with me which was the first thing that I didn't like about him. The stories I have heard from their family makes him sound like a macho, male shovinist pig type. I want to atleast get along with him for my hubby. Who do I put the feelings I have about him aside and be "nice" without seeming fake? One of the things I hate is when people pretend to be or feel something they aren't or don't. I don't want to do this but want my hubby to be happy at the same time. any ideas?

AngieDoogles · 04-07-2007, 07:10 AM

I think first of all, try to give him a chance. You haven't actually met him or gotten to know him so he may turn out to be completely different than you expect. And if he is someone you don't really like, you can be nice without being fake. Just don't try to overdo it. Does that make sense? It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say...

Janet · 04-07-2007, 07:14 AM

You need to make your own decision about this guy, and not let others influence you. There must be something really great about this guy for your husband to care about him so much, besides being brothers. Just be yourself with no pre-conceived notions and you'll be just fine.

Chandra Amaya · 04-07-2007, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

I think first of all, try to give him a chance. You haven't actually met him or gotten to know him so he may turn out to be completely different than you expect. And if he is someone you don't really like, you can be nice without being fake. Just don't try to overdo it. Does that make sense? It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say...

I do understand what you mean & thanks Ang. I hope I do like him if for no other reason, for my hubby & our daughter. It will be his first time meeting her. His only niece

. He also may be going to Iraq soon so this is a great time for him to see her & for my husband to have time with him.

Chandra Amaya · 04-07-2007, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

You need to make your own decision about this guy, and not let others influence you. There must be something really great about this guy for your husband to care about him so much, besides being brothers. Just be yourself with no pre-conceived notions and you'll be just fine.

Very true Janet. My husband is a very goos judge of character & I normally like everyone he does. I just need to find the reasons he loves his brother so much.

Janet · 04-07-2007, 07:36 AM

I always find if I open my heart, I can find good in most anyone.

AngieDoogles · 04-07-2007, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

I always find if I open my heart, I can find good in most anyone.

That's true Janet. You just have to be willing.

Tink · 04-07-2007, 07:54 AM

Ditto what Janet said.
You don't have to love him, just treat him as you would any new friend of the family and let it grow from there.

Chandra Amaya · 04-07-2007, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tink

Ditto what Janet said.
You don't have to love him, just treat him as you would any new friend of the family and let it grow from there.

So true Thank you very much Tink. I guess I have been trying to figure out how to love him as much as I do his sisiter (who has stayed with us & I've actually gotten to know). You are right. I don't have to love him or really even like him yet. I just have to get to know him for now.

Forgivenmom5 · 04-07-2007, 09:07 AM

Just have an open mind and give it a chance. If it does turn out you don't care for him remember he won't be here long and if John has the chance he will have him occupied with video games a lot. You have put up with people you didn't really like for a lot longer than that.

Chandra Amaya · 04-07-2007, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Forgivenmom5

Just have an open mind and give it a chance. If it does turn out you don't care for him remember he won't be here long and if John has the chance he will have him occupied with video games a lot. You have put up with people you didn't really like for a lot longer than that.

very very true. He will be leaving Sunday afternoon so he is only here for about 24 hrs & John is so excited about seeing him. I hope it goes well

AngieDoogles · 04-07-2007, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

very very true. He will be leaving Sunday afternoon so he is only here for about 24 hrs & John is so excited about seeing him. I hope it goes well

I'm sure everything will be wonderful chica. Don't worry.

Mandy · 04-07-2007, 12:08 PM

I agree with the above posts. Hope all works out great for you guys!!

Chandra Amaya · 04-07-2007, 12:49 PM

Thank you so much for your encouragement & support ladies.

How did we ever get through things before finding 4WT?

AngieDoogles · 04-07-2007, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chandra Amaya

Thank you so much for your encouragement & support ladies.

How did we ever get through things before finding 4WT?

We just never knew what we were missing!

04-07-2007, 06:03 AM	#1
Chandra Amaya 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Tn Posts: 1,646	husband's brother is coming Ok it's not exactly a vent but I thought it fits here better than anywhere else. My husband's younger but bigger brother is coming in today. I have only met him in person once. He was quiet & it was brief but he seemed ok. This was 3 years ago. He is always nice on the phone but quick & to the point. I feel awful though. My husband adores this man (they are only like 18 months apart). I don't like him not because of what I have seen but because of the stories I have heard. He did take some of my husbands things that he had planned on going back to get when he moved in with me which was the first thing that I didn't like about him. The stories I have heard from their family makes him sound like a macho, male shovinist pig type. I want to atleast get along with him for my hubby. Who do I put the feelings I have about him aside and be "nice" without seeming fake? One of the things I hate is when people pretend to be or feel something they aren't or don't. I don't want to do this but want my hubby to be happy at the same time. any ideas? __________________ Traci

04-07-2007, 07:10 AM	#2
AngieDoogles Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 6,509	I think first of all, try to give him a chance. You haven't actually met him or gotten to know him so he may turn out to be completely different than you expect. And if he is someone you don't really like, you can be nice without being fake. Just don't try to overdo it. Does that make sense? It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say... __________________ "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~MT

04-07-2007, 07:14 AM	#3
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	You need to make your own decision about this guy, and not let others influence you. There must be something really great about this guy for your husband to care about him so much, besides being brothers. Just be yourself with no pre-conceived notions and you'll be just fine. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

04-07-2007, 07:36 AM	#6
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	I always find if I open my heart, I can find good in most anyone. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

04-07-2007, 07:54 AM	#8
Tink Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Rural Wisconsin Posts: 3,707	Ditto what Janet said. You don't have to love him, just treat him as you would any new friend of the family and let it grow from there. __________________ 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair'

04-07-2007, 09:07 AM	#10
Forgivenmom5 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,409	Just have an open mind and give it a chance. If it does turn out you don't care for him remember he won't be here long and if John has the chance he will have him occupied with video games a lot. You have put up with people you didn't really like for a lot longer than that. __________________ ~Debbie~

04-07-2007, 12:08 PM	#13
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	I agree with the above posts. Hope all works out great for you guys!! __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

04-07-2007, 12:49 PM	#14
Chandra Amaya 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Tn Posts: 1,646	Thank you so much for your encouragement & support ladies. How did we ever get through things before finding 4WT? __________________ Traci

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