Not a Happy Woman

[Janet]

When my husbands parents passed (father two years ago, stepmother in Feb.) he was left an inheritance. We finally sold the property and it closes today. Last night we were talking and I told him, besides investing, he needed to share some of that money with me and our son. I'm wanting new flooring and to put a new fence up for the doggies.

He told me "what about the dog money," and I said you know that is for the dogs. You see, when I had my last litter and will with this litter, I put the money in what I call the puppy fund. I use it for dog food, Vet visits, pee pads, etc and keep the rest (and there isn't much believe me) in the fund for whatever may come up for the doggies.

I was very much upset because he has always thought, what mine is his and what's his is his. I'm sick and tired of being the only one interested in keeping out house clean, up-to-date and having to try and save up enough money for new items for the house, not just for me, but for our family. He even put it in a separate checking account with only his name.

I realize there is nothing really anyone can say about this, but I just needed to vent. I wish I could still have my son, but start my life over. Since this is not possible, I'll just continue to know I made a BIG STUPID mistake. I just wish, well, it doesn't really matter...things will not be changing anytime soon, but my son graduates in 2009 and then maybe things will change...on my part at least!

[Tink]

{{{Janet}}} I'm sorry your hubby is such a stinker about money!
In many states, what's owned by one belongs equally to both regardless how the individuals feel about it. I know Wisconsin is that way, for one.

I have to wonder what happened to your dh to make him this way. It's certainly not a normal way to live. I'd be unhappy about it too.

HUGS

[Janet]

I do know Tink that when he was younger all three children had a savings account. Then after his mother died and his father remarried a woman with two children, they used up all three savings accounts. I guess he's just afraid of it being taken.

Even when we were cleaning out the house and flower shop, we took what we wanted and so did his brothers and sisters. But I keep finding all kinds of things that were basically junk out in his garage. Like a desktop phone, it was older but not dial and things like that. It's like he is afraid of losing something worth anything. He has a 4 car garage that we can't get a car into, because it's full of junk. I'm tired of it and hopefully will find a way out someday.

I've told him he must not care much about Ricky and I because if something would ever happen to him, we'd be left to clean up this stuff and not knowing what a lot of it is.

[cindy0721]

hmmm.. I understand your angry Janet... hubby can get stubborn like that in certain ways sometimes... but (please don't take this the wrong way) but maybe that junk as you call it in his garage means something to him... memories .... I don't know just a outsider looking in...

[Janet]

Well, I thought maybe that was it too, but the things we brought into our home have special memories. The stuff out in the garage is not things he grew up with, except maybe the phone, but eveything else was just stuff his parents had in their garage. Some is broken. I could see it if it was things he grew up with, but none of it is. He even has antique gas pumps from 10 years back that he was going to fix and sell, just like everything else, it gets shoved into the garage and never seen again. I just don't understand it. My house would look like that too, if I let him bring that stuff in here. No way...

[judy]

Hi Janet,

I'm sending hugs to you and prayers out for your happiness.

[Mandy]

Janet, i am sorry you are having to deal with this. Keep your head up high girl, and spend your hard earned money on your son, and yourself! If you need stuff for the house, use your joined account if you have one.

(((((Hugs)))))

[Taurus Babe]

Janet,
I'm sorry. Some people need to learn to consider other people's feeling too. Not much can be done if his mind is made up, but I'm thinking about you!!

[Tink]

Janet, maybe try pointing out to him that keeping the house up to date is also a wise investment?

[Janet]

Thank you Judy, that's sweet of you.

[Janet]

I'm trying Tink. We did talk for a little bit, but he's not real good at discussing things either, he always gets defensive and I try not to sound accusing. He said he was willing to share, but we'll see. Time will tell.

[Gina]

Janet what Tink mentioned about inheriting property or money belonging to community property in some states. Where I live inhertance money or home belongs soley to the person its left to. Not to the spouse.Every state is different.

I am sorry to hear this Janet, you are married a very long time, your husband should include you in , as to how both should invest or spend this money. Whether the state you live in sees it that way or not. You should be entitled to a say, its not like you just married and will take off with his money. I hope he changes his mind and lets you spend on the things that you need. Good luck.

[Tink]

Hey Janet, you want I should come beat some sense into him for ya? I'd do it if I thought it would help!
Instead I'm gonna put you on my prayer list... your man needs to open his eyes and see you for the wonderful lady that you are and start treating you accordingly.

[Mandy]

Originally Posted by Tink

Hey Janet, you want I should come beat some sense into him for ya? I'd do it if I thought it would help!
Instead I'm gonna put you on my prayer list... your man needs to open his eyes and see you for the wonderful lady that you are and start treating you accordingly.

I agree Well said Tink!

[Janet]

Thank you ladies. I don't want you all to think I'm trying to go spend all this money he inherited. I know we need to invest some for our retirement. I just thought a little of it could go toward new carpet in the living room and some kind of wood flooring in the family room. I mean, it's not like I go out and buy the most expensive I can find or anything...and our rooms are not oversized.

I never in my dreams thought you ladies would start talking legalities....LOL I don't like arguing....so I usually depend on "what goes around, comes around."