So upset, I need to VENT!!!

I am sorry to burden you guys with my problems, but I just have no where else to let off steam right now. Our main water line broke sometime overnight tuesday. I noticed the yard had turned into a lake Wednesday morning. Our water has been shut off since 9:30am yesterday. I had my 3 kids and babysitting 2 others yesterday, with no water all day. My hubby got approval from his boss to leave work yesterday at noon, he decided to wait till his friend got off work at 5:30 pm to come home. They ripped up my deck (which we had custom made a few years ago for several thousand dollars) and decided to wait till today to do anything else. So, while he was at work today he had my soon to be brother in law start digging the hole. He came home and "worked" on digging the hole for about 2 hrs, and when I say "worked" I mean, everytime I looked out the door he was sitting down holding the shovel doing nothing. He is now laying in our bed upset because he doesn't want to have to fix it.I asked him if he was sick, was something wrong, but nothing is wrong with him, he just doesn't want to do it. I am so upset with him, I just lost it with him. I asked him why he isn't trying to get it done quickly, and he told me he just can't do it by himself. I asked him what man does he know that can't dig a hole by himself??? No answer. He is now ignoring me, laying in bed. We are supposed to get strong storms overnight tonight and more tomorrow. I do not see this getting done anytime soon. I don't know what to do! He is always so quick to help others out when they have problems, but I have lost a lot of respect for him in the last two days. He doesn't seem like he cares. Meanwhile, I have been having some female problems for the past 3 days, and didn't do much laundry, plus I have 2 sinks full of dirty dishes, and no way to get them clean! I have cried all I can, I am on the verge of packing the kids and dogs up and moving in with my mom and dad. I never knew how useless my hubby is to us till this happened, he doesn't do much of anything around here, and what he does do I have to nag nag nag to get that done. He spends lots of time doing things for other people though-I have had several family members tell me he spends too much time doing things for others, and neglects us, but I always argued that he is a good person for helping others. That is a load of s**t. He should put us first!! I don't know how I will ever be able to respect him after this.........

[Mandy]

Oh girl, my heart goes out to you, what a terrible situation to be in! We need water at least, we cant do much without it. I hope this all gets sorted out asap for you, and things will be back to normal.
Keep you head up, take a few deep breaths. Is there anyone else you could ask to come out that will fix it for you?

Good luck! we are here for you!

[goofywife]

Wow, That's a tough situation. But, there are health reasons why it needs to get fixed. If he won't do it. I would tell him "Its okay" Then go pick up the phone and call a repair man. Won't he be a little embarrassed that you had to call someone?

Maybe, he can get the message with out you having to say something.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by goofywife

Wow, That's a tough situation. But, there are health reasons why it needs to get fixed. If he won't do it. I would tell him "Its okay" Then go pick up the phone and call a repair man. Won't he be a little embarrassed that you had to call someone?

Maybe, he can get the message with out you having to say something.

There is no way in 'you know what' that I would put up with that crap!!! Sorry, but when husband's drop the ball on something so important, it really makes me angry. Call a repair man, let your husband worry how to pay for it! That is exactly what I would do without hesitation. AND I'd make his life a living hell!

[DianaB]

I'd call someone to come and repair it too. Some men have never learned how to do some things. My son-in-law is a really nice guy, but he was raised by his Mom and by foster care and he never learned how to do things around the house. Whenever my daughter asks him to do things she knows that he gets in a really bad mood over it and they fight. When he does do things they're half done or not done correctly (not always, but most of the time).

If you just call someone to do it you can get this behind you and get everything back to normal. When you call someone ask how long it will take and then figure out if you would be better off at your Mom's for a few days. No need to be stressing out over things that can't get done.

[judy]

Sounds like my ex-husband. He could do little things, but would never do something like dig a hole. He also used to ask me to help him with things that I would never do, like rip out a carpet. I used to ask him if he had any friends - I'm not strong enough to do that kind of work (and I could possibly break a nail!)

After a few years of this nonsense, I finally just called in people to do anything I needed done - never discussed it with him - didn't care if he liked it or not.

Good luck,

[AngieDoogles]

Aww, I'm sorry you're feeling down. I think everyone feels that way about their spouse at some point. I remember one time it was like pulling teeth to get my husband to go pay HIS speeding ticket. I was so frustrated, and I felt much the same way you do about this (though I know the issue was smaller and it may not seem the same to you...but I did FEEL the same though.) Anyway, he eventually went and paid the ticket after missing TWO court dates and things went back to normal. I hope when all of these plumbing issues are taken care of that things go back to normal for you two as well.

[Marilyn]

I'd probably grab a shovel and go in there and tell him to get up, buster. We're going to get this done together, or we're calling a plumber, it's as simple as that. If he won't budge, I'd go to mom and dad's until he got it fixed.

I might even try to get out there and dig myself until he finally felt so guilty, that he got up and said, "Okay, I'll take care of it."

Personally, I never had a problem like this. My hubby fixes emergency type things. He does leave other things undone that frustrate me, but then I do the same, so can't call the kettle black on this one.

Wishing you well and hope it all works out soon, you deck get's back together and you can enjoy a quite evening with lemonade on the deck!!!

Thank you gals for all of your support! Our water is back on! YEAH!!! My soon to be BIL did most of the work, and the owner of the local hardware store came over and helped too (he is friends with my husband). There is still a huge hole in the middle of my deck, several of the support beams were cut out so they could dig the hole, but I have WATER!!

I am the type of person who digs in and gets things done without asking for help. I prefer to do things on my own! My hubby is definitely the opposite. He asks for help with everything, and if I were to have jumped in and started digging the hole he would have sat back and watched. I couldn't leave my 3 kids alone in the house, and with the wood from the deck sitting all over my back yard with nails/screws sticking out of it, having them outside with me was out of the question. I basically told him to step up to the plate and be the man of the house or leave. It must have worked, because he was up early this morning working on finding the leak. My washer and dryer have been running nonstop all evening, and I still have a lot to do....but I am just so thankful for having the water running again! Plus..... the cost to fix the leak was under $5.00!!!!! Replacing part of the deck doesn't seem so bad now.

I promise to post a happy thread very soon. I have some cute pictures of my kids and dogs that I took last weekend that I will post soon.

Thanks again everyone!
Missy

[AngieDoogles]

That's wonderful! I'm so glad everything worked out alright.

[Janet]

Yay Missy has water again!!!! It's terrible that us women have to either do it ourselves or hit them in the wallet to get some things done. I think it's one of the mysteries of the world...LOL

[DianaB]

Oh, good! I'm glad that you got your water leak fixed. It seems like there's nothing worse than to have the water turned off because everything we do to clean depends on having water.

[judy]

Good news, and good for you telling him to step up, and good for him for doing it.