Emotions

[Lindsey]

I absolutely HATE how emotional I can get.
About a week ago I happened to find on Facebook a long lost friend... so long lost that we haven't seen each other since KINDERGARTEN! He was my kindergarten best friend, I used to live across the street from his grandparents in a northern community, and we used to play every single day. Our families both ended up moving away right after kindergarten. We've been sending each other messages daily and getting to know each other and talking about how weird this is to know each other again after almost 20 years! I absolutely told Kyle about him because I was so excited about it.
Well, tomorrow Kyle and I are supposed to go snowboarding near the city where this guy lives, and he suggested we meet to say hello and maybe have a drink or whatever. I told Kyle and he freaked out on me, saying that's so creepy and "Does he know you have a boyfriend?!" and "It seems like he just wants to hook up."
I changed the conversation and he just kept getting mad and snapping about everything. A guy at work got a really good mortgage from this one bank with some program for new homeowners so I thought that's really interesting and I should tell Kyle! So I told him and he snapped again, saying "I think the person I talked to would know a little more. Isn't he the guy who just tells stories to try to look cool?" and I said "I'm sorry, I just thought you might be interested in checking it out. I won't say anything else." and he didn't reply and I haven't heard from him and I fought my tears at work and I fought my tears all the way home and I've been sitting here in my room crying for over half an hour now.
It shouldn't bother me as much as it is. I wish I could stop crying.

I am so sorry you are having a bad day. I don't see that you did anything wrong to have him snap at you.
It does sound as if he may be a bit insecure. Some guys really have a hard time with their girlfriend/wife talking with other men.

dont you hate it when our guys take their crappy days out on us? I hope your weekend improves!

[Lindsey]

He is very very very insecure and he admits it. But it doesn't change and I don't know how it can change. It bothers me and he knows it. He thinks I'm going to cheat on him, when I've never given him any reason to think so. Oh well... A friend came over and her and I and my roommate drank some cheap wine and watched family guy and I'm feeling much better now

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by CoyoteQueen

dont you hate it when our guys take their crappy days out on us? I hope your weekend improves!

Yeah, he has a very short fuse and tends to take it out on me when he's mad at anyone else. For awhile I've just been trying to stay above it and stay happy and positive, knowing he doesn't really mean to hurt me but he just needs to get his anger out. But I think he needs to find other ways sometimes. It has improved in the past few months but it's not at a happy point yet!
I was considering just backing out on snowboarding earlier. He sent me a text saying "We're leaving at 9" and I didn't reply. Then he texted again saying "I don't know if you got my last text but we're leaving at 9 tomorrow" and I wrote "have fun" and sent it, but cancelled right away. Now I feel stupid about getting so upset about him snapping at me, so I still want to snowboard tomorrow!

[pope1982]

Sounds like he is insecure, and his jealousy is showing. I don't claim to be perfect, I have had my fair share of jealous fits, but the problem here is his not yours. You can't be there to cater to his ego 24-7 and this was part of your life before he was.

Lines of communication need to be open and clear and relationships needs to have boundaries drawn out clear and agreed upon.
Instead of changing the conversation and letting him hurt your feelings regarding your friend, ask him what bothers him so much about it and tell him how ridiculous he sounds. Offer to let him to talk to your friend to feel him out, Or let him watch the two of you interact.

If he still is not comfortable with this part of your life, after you've invited him to join you in it... you have to decide if this is something you want to wait out and see if there is any change possible in the future, or if you can live with losing that part of your life if it turns out that is not the case.

If he is meant to be your "one", give and take shouldn't come as pulling teeth. It shouldn't require a second thought.

[Lindsey]

You know, honestly it doesn't even matter. We both know our relationship won't last because I'm moving away next year. We have fun together and that's why we're together for now. I think his feelings for me are stronger than mine for him but I've let him know that I'm not completely invested in the relationshp and he still wants to keep it going. I don't know, we're kind of confusing I guess. Neither of us wants to be lonely.

[pope1982]

lol well there you go! But you still need to have "that conversation" with him if it appears you two want different things.

Might be time to cut your losses if it's not so much fun. Fear of loneliness is a horrible reason to stay with someone!

[Lindsey]

I don't know really if it's fear of being lonely, but just what I'm missing if I'm not with him. I'm sure I'd have my own group of friends and stuff but I really do like his friends and I have fun with him and his friends when he's not in a bad mood. I don't love him, and I really don't think I've ever loved anyone, and don't hold out too much hope that I ever will! But we'll see what the future holds. For now I just want to do things that make me happy, and teach myself to not get so upset if what makes me happy doesn't necessarily make HIM happy. And I really hope that I can teach him how to be a good boyfriend too. I want him to know all the things he's doing wrong, so he's good to the girl he will end up marrying.