Ok How would you handle THIS????

[Brooke]

(DEEP BREATH!)

I have to give some back ground so you understand the situation...
Some of you may know my husbabd and I have had a VERY BAD YEAR. Close to divorce, fighting, my home has been a war zone for over a year now. We are Christians and trying everything we know to work it out because we know God hates divorce and it would be best if we can work it out... This week things are better a little bit... Prayer would be great if you pray... Thanks.

My sister in Law is terminlly ill, she has a very bad heart, kidney failuar, and is diabetic She is 300 pounds and they can't operate because they are afraid she will die on the table.

She calls on Sat and tell my husband she is coming up to visit...She is on her way! (Mind you she has hospis coming every day to take care of her... She is on oxagen, And the drive is about 6-7 hours!!!) I never thought she would make it but she shows up, with out the oxagen, no wheel chair, but her self and lots of pills...She is on tons of meds)

Since she has gotten here she every so often will try to talk about how my husband and I are doing.. She talks like we are getting a divorce. She says things like, you can live alone don't worry, don't plan on any money you won't get anything, if my brother isn't happy there is no sense in being together! I keep telling her we are working it out... she acts like she doesn't hear me!

Well last night I talk to my 23 year old son who is upset. It turns out she has told him it is inevitable that we are getting divorced and to face it. She went on and on about it to him and he got really mad at her. HE wants her out of my house!

I am so mad I can't see straight. How dare she!!! Here I am waiting on her left and right because she can't breath well at all...(WAlking across my kitchen is a huge effort for her that gets her completely out of breath!) And behind my back she goes and has this TALK with my son. SHe calls my daughter at college ALL THE TIME and who knows WHAT she says to her!!!!

I talked to my husband and he says he never told her he was leaving me, that things were bad but they were getting better... So she came up with this crap on her own. (It is just like her to do this... she is a huge trouble maker and her own kids won't even talk to her at all now.)

Just wondered what you all would do. She is dieing, I don't want to upset her but gee wizz who wants to deal with this crap. Now I have to take her out to lunch and try to be nice! If she wasn't so sick I would be getting the gloves on, but she is very sick and I am wondering how the heck we are gonna get her outta here and back to her place!!!

Help some one save me!!!

[Chandra Amaya]

Brooke,
I know this may seem cruel, but this is your house and your family. My thought is you are going to have to lay down the law! Dying or not people need to respect each other and family situations. She maybe a sis-in-law, but in your home she is an outsider. I think your husband should tell her that this is between you and him and to leave your kids out of it.

[Janet]

I agree. You two need to stand side by side and your husband tell her the way it is. Then I'd pack her up and take her home.

[AngieDoogles]

Wow, that's definitely a tough situation. I have to agree with Janet and Traci. You need to protect your family. They are your top priority.

[katcarasella]

Dear Brooke,
First of all, my prayers go out to you and Your family. I would tell her that she's crossed the line when she took it upon herself to talk to your children about your personal life with Your husband. Let her know, You do not need her negativity in your life, nor will you put up with it. Then pack her bags for her!!
Sincerely, Kathy

[pope1982]

I would call her into the kitchen then turn off her tank and speak really slowly and clear to be sure she can hear you
lol just kidding, That was an evil thought! hope I at least got a smile out of you...

Sometimes there are no easy ways of dealing with family
The only thing we have control over, is our reaction and forgiveness. She is not worth getting your family in an uproar over, if being a busy body is how she wants to spend the rest of her numbered days, I sort of feel sorry for her

[Gina]

Hi Brooke

Glad to see that you posted we miss you and am glad to hear that things are working out with you and your hubby. As far as SIL goes the advice the others gave you are right on target. If I were you I would speak to his sister with my husband in presence. You both need to explain to her that she is wrong in discussing your marriage issues with your son. This is not her place, and would appreciate her staying out of it. Tell her your welcomed in my home, but you have to stop upsetting my son and it is to stop now. Tell her straight out it seems like your happy to spread this news about my demise of marriage, which is not happening. Just be assertive and get your point across..

Good luck!

[DianaB]

You have enough to deal with without a trouble-making sister-in-law. I would try and explain that yes, you've been through a hard time but that things are getting better. Then I would let her know that it was time for her to go home. She came uninvited so I would just give her a little push to go home. If that doesn't work then have your husband tell her to go home. You don't need the added burden of taking care of her and trying to catch everything that she's going to say to your kids. Time to send her packing!!!

[Marilyn]

Brooke, I do agree with these wonderful ladies on this one. I would, however, suggest that you drive her home in her car and have some follow to take you home, or if possible, take her home and fly back, since it is such a long drive. You would not want something to happen to her on the way home. She may tell others that you threw her out and she was so upset she became ill on the way home, or if she passed away on the drive or shortly thereafter, you could feel guilty for a very long time. Just trying to look out for you.

Hope everything works out!! (((((((Brooke)))))))

[Brooke]

Well, I am trying to do what Jesus would do. he wouldn't kick her out! I prayed about it, and I decided to let it go. I talked to my son who at this point runs from the room if he is alone with her! he has no desire to TALK with her. My husband talked to my son and told him is Aunt was crazy so don't listen to ANYTHING SHE SAYS!!! She is on meds for depression and everything else under the sun.

I took her shopping yesterday and she was so happy to have some one take her out. She told me at one point that she hurts a lot of people but she doesn't mean to. She talks faster then she thinks! At least she kind of sees it.

I decided to let this go. I could bring it up and make a big deal of it but she would get defensive and say her words were twisted... I think showing some mercy and grace is in order here... How else will this woman who is dyeing ever understand the love of the Lord if it is not modeled in some way to her. She knows I am a Christian and I have been praying to show her the Lords love before it is too late for her. Some times it takes one act of kindness to show some one Gods love.

Please pray for her. She says she is a christian but has this idea that you can just do as you please, act how ever you want, and call your self a christian. I feel that the Lord wants to you turn to him, but he wants your whole heart. He wants you to turn ALL over to him. We are to TRY to be Christ like. We may never be as good as Jesus but he knows our hearts and he knows when we are not trying hard enough!!!

[2tiredmom]

Brooke,

Your in my prayers along with your family and sister in law.
I pray it all works out for the best for all of you.