This gets funnier as you read!

[deb22]

HOW TO GIVE A PILL TO A CAT
>>>
>>> 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if
>>> holding a baby. Position right fore-finger and thumb on either
>>> side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while
>>> holding pill In right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into
>>> mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
>>>
>>> 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in
>>> left arm and repeat process.
>>>
>>> 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
>>>
>>> 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding
>>> rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to
>>> back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count
>>> of ten.
>>>
>>> 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
>>> Call spouse from garden.
>>>
>>> 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front
>>> and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to
>>> hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into
>>> mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
>>>
>>> 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
>>> Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
>>> shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for
>>> gluing later.
>>>
>>> 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head
>>> just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw,
>>> force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
>>>
>>> 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, Drink 1
>>> beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and
>>> remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
>>>
>>> 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open
>>> another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck,
>>> to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick
>>> pill down throat with elastic band.
>>>
>>> 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on
>>> hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink.
>>> Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last
>>> tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss
>>> back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from
>>> bedroom.
>>>
>>> 12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across
>>> the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while
>>> swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
>>>
>>> 13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden
>>> twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty
>>> pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large
>>> piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and
>>> pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
>>>
>>> 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive y ou to the
>>> Emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and
>>> forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture
>>> shop on way home to order new table.
>>>
>>> 15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local
>>> pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
>>>
>>>
>>> How To Give A Dog A Pill
>>>
>>> 1. Wrap it in bacon.
>>>
>>> 2. Toss it in the air.

[katcarasella]

Anyone that has ever tried to give a cat meds will love this one. lmao

Way to go Deb you fit right in here.

[deb22]

Thanks, nice to fit in somewhere.

[Tink]

Many years ago when we were going to worm a German shepherd and the family cat, I made a deal with hubby that I'd do the dog if he'd do the cat. I was thinking much in the way this story went... that the cat would fight and the dog would be much easier. Hubby still teases me about this one...

The cat took the single pill on the first try without a fight and hubby was ever so proud of himself and his feline friend.
My dog being about 90 lbs, had to have 3 pills and wrestled, spit them out unless I could get them deep into her throat and definitely gave me a run for my money while Greg sat by laughing hysterically.

So where was this story when I needed it? LOL I should have shown it to the cat so he'd have known how to act.

[deb22]

[DianaB]

OMGosh!!! I'm rolling with laughter!!!!! This was so funny!!!!!

[judy]

That's a great description of giving a cat a pill. I remember those days! A lot of my cats went unmedicated. It was me or them, and I won!

[Marilyn]

Good one!!!!! Love it. Having two cats for 11 years, and dogs ever since, I can truly relate!!!!

[Janet]

I've seen this one many times before, but I can't help but read it every time I see it and just plain crack up..once again...LOL

[AngieDoogles]

I've seen this before as well, but it never gets old. I read it out loud to my hubby and I think it's even funnier when you hear it spoken like that. LOL

So very true ... and I have the war wounds to prove it.