i'm done trying !!

[HALEY]

Yesterday was my husband's Birthday, so i have been saving up for a grill to get him from his son, so he came home is a bad mood as usual, didn't even Thank me for the grill, got into a fight and then he went out with his friends. Couldn't even spend the rest of the day with his son!!! i'm just so pissed off right now.. been thinking about it all day.

From what his family did Micah's Birthday, and him, i'm just done being nice. I really do hope he moves out in June, right now it couldn't be soon enough for me.

[judy]

I'm so sorry Haley. It's rough going through a marriage ending.

My daughter was 7 months old when her father and I split up. I have to say that I was much happier. I also would not have wanted my daughter to grow up in such a negative home.

On the other hand, maybe you two can work it out.

I'll pray for you.

I am so sorry and that was just a hurtful thing to do on his part.
I would try to put it behind me and just move on, because dwelling on it will just hurt even more. (( hugs )) to you .... Janie

[goofywife]

He just couldn't handle you being nice to him. His loss.

[Gina]

Haley I feel bad you are trying he is not, like Michelle said he can't handle it. The ball is in your court now only you know what is best. One good thing Haley is that if you end your marriage you can say I tried and that is a good feeling. Good luck!

[Janet]

Sorry you're going through this Haley. No one knows but you how much you are willing to take. You'll need to carefully evaluate how you really feel and know you probably won't get much help from him once he's gone.

[Dobie]

Sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. But I think you should feel good about yourself - it takes a big person to take the moral high ground, and getting him something for his birthday and trying to have a good day for your son, was taking the high ground.

[Marilyn]

Haley, so sorry you are going through this. By the way he's acting, I'd be suspicious. Are you sure he's not fooling around??? He's acting like he's trying to convince himself that you are somehow to blame. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I've just seen so many people who were doing wrong and were trying to convince themselve that it is the other person's fault, that they strayed. Be careful and consider what we've all said to you before & you always have us to turn to. We care very much about you and your little boy. Take care of yourself!!!! and stay strong!!!

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

Haley, so sorry you are going through this. By the way he's acting, I'd be suspicious. Are you sure he's not fooling around??? He's acting like he's trying to convince himself that you are somehow to blame. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I've just seen so many people who were doing wrong and were trying to convince themselve that it is the other person's fault, that they strayed. Be careful and consider what we've all said to you before & you always have us to turn to. We care very much about you and your little boy. Take care of yourself!!!! and stay strong!!!

I thought about that too Marilyn, that's why i been checking his cell phone - im on top of that. I hope he's not.. But if i find out he is, he will be looking for a place to live. that's something i will not put up with !!!!
Mike was a wild child, and i think if it wasn't for me he would be in jail right now.
I got all his credit straighten out which cost way over 6,000, that's why were in such a hole right now, he had two DUI's, (4,000 so far) he still has an interlock in his car, come June all our dept will be paid off and finally we would of had money for things.
He got a nice raise and is finally gettin a company truck, but i think he'll screw it up again, and i don't think i can go thru that again right now, i have a job to worry about and a child i care so dearly for, Micah is my life, and i just don't have the energy for him anymore, it's sad to say.
The weather is getting warmer and i know once his gets his motorcycle lisc. back he'll be on the bike with his friends drinking again, and he knows with these new laws that if he gets pulled over again he will go to jail for a year.. Then were does that leave Micah and me??
Mike is just like his mother, they just care about themselves! It's a shame cause
he was such a good father when Micah was born, he was always there helping me out, but i guess the new baby thing wore off.. i just can't believe he changed so fast. I need to do what's best for my son now. Mike either wants to be a Husband / Dad or he don't! He needs to make that choice now.
His friends or his family.. cause the party days are over... if that's the life he want's Micah and I are gone.

[Ponyup]

Since he didn't appreciate the gift you bought him I would take it back & use the money to buy yourself something nice or do something nice for you & your son. When he asked about it just say I was under the impression you didn't like it so I took it back.

I'm very sorry you're going through such a hard time. I know how it is to see the good in people & try to ignore the bad, but it sounds like the bad is getting pretty hard to ignore.

[HALEY]

To take his side a little bit, he is a hard worker, and does provide for his son, he don't care how much i spend on Micah.
But him not spending anytime with his son, that is really getting under my skin. He says he's doing all these side jobs, but i don't see the extra money?
He says he's buying gas and his lunches with the money. so i can have his paychecks for the bills. I don't know if i believe him or not! Just feeling so damn depressed lately..

[DianaB]

You've had some pretty good advice, Haley. My advice is to think things through carefully. Have you considered counseling? I'm sure that a hug would help.

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by DianaB

You've had some pretty good advice, Haley. My advice is to think things through carefully. Have you considered counseling? I'm sure that a hug would help.

Yes i have considered counseling, but he's been working now from 7 am to 9 pm. i don't know where we could squeze it in. plus my plate is full, with a full time job and taking care of Micah by myself. it's hard right now.. i'm just lost when it comes to my marriage, don't know what to do? it's draining me. just getting tired of trying and Mike's not.

[judy]

Originally Posted by HALEY

Yes i have considered counseling, but he's been working now from 7 am to 9 pm. i don't know where we could squeze it in. plus my plate is full, with a full time job and taking care of Micah by myself. it's hard right now.. i'm just lost when it comes to my marriage, don't know what to do? it's draining me. just getting tired of trying and Mike's not.

Counseling for yourself might be a good idea. You can just take Micah with you.
He's young enough not to understand what you're saying and probably easy to
keep busy for the 45 - 60 minutes.

[HALEY]

I should at the end of June, when i get Mikes debt. paid off. Scraping now with the bills. sounds like a good idea.