When You Though I Wasn't Looking!

[katcarasella]

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING


A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each
other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
your time and money to help people who had nothing,
and I learned that those who have something should
give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking.'

WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS,
BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES.
LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT.

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend)
influences the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by
sending this to someone else, you will probably make
them at least think about their influence on others.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak
kindly.


Leave the rest to God.

[NicoleMarcelle]

so sweet and so true... thanks for sharing Kat... i definitely experienced that when i was working as a preschool teacher

[Janet]

This was so wonderful, but Kat, it also made me sad. I didn't have that growing up. My younger brother was the favorite. I'm just going to make a few comments.


WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING


A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one. My mom didn't want things messed up and putting a picture on the refrigerator wouldn't look good.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals. I was told to leave stray animals alone so they wouldn't stick around.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life. Only had a cake on our birthdays

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him. We went to church for such a short time, camping became more important. I wish I learned more about God when I was younger, I envy Diana and Marilyn with their vast knowledge of the scriptures.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other. Never saw something like that either...costs too much money to not eat it ourselves.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't. I honestly never saw this either, my mother was quick to criticize

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given. This did happen and maybe it's why I'm so nuerotic about organization.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn' t feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up. This was a very good lesson I was taught and one I value highly.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry. Didn't see too many tears, we were told to 'get over it' and 'quit acting like a baby'.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be. I never had confidence when I was younger, didn't happen really till way after I was married. My younger brother was the baby and that's where most of the attention went.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up. I learned that when I was old enough to get a job, I could have whatever I wanted as long as I paid for it.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.' No comment

WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS, BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES.
LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT.

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influences the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today? Just by sending this to someone else, you will probably make them at least think about their influence on others.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

This is why I try my hardest to always give a positive comment to my bus kids, it may be the only one they hear. My bus looks like an art gallery at times, because I tape their pictures up for all to see. I guess I did learn alot, but by NOT seeing some of those things and knowing I wanted to see them.

Please, no pity party, but we all grow up so differently and yet can come together as wonderful friends.

[Forgivenmom5]

Janet I had a very similar life. Not a lot of positive comments. My mother still does not have a very positive attitude.

[Janet]

Mine doesn't either Debbie. Oh I love her and I will help her with anything, but she still is a very selfish self absorbed person. To this day, she expects us kids to do for her, but she feels she already did for us, now it's her turn. No wonder she's really not a happy person.

[DianaB]

My Mom did a lot of those things but still I didn't feel a lot of love from her. The only time I remember her telling me that she loved me was when our pastor had us separate into our family groups to pray together and then it was said with tears in her eyes. That was one thing that I do differently. I tell my kids all the time that I love them, no tears.

And Janet, my Mom has always given my brother more attention and still does. My kids even notice it now. I just don't let it get to me anymore. When I grew up I was always closer to my Dad than I was to my Mom.

When I grew up we went to church every time the doors were open. Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and any other day something was happening. I grew up on all of the little kid's Bible stories. In my teen aged years I really resented it because sometimes my friends were doing something else on those days but I HAD to be in church. Now I go because I want to not because I have to.

I wish with all of my heart that my Mom and I had a better relationship but I've given up on ever being very close. Oh, we do things but it's never like a "girlfriend" thing. I have a lot more fun with her sisters, my aunts. That's why I go to see them. They fill me up with what ever it is that I need from my Mom and don't get.

[Janet]

I always knew Mom loved me, but I also knew she loved Brad more. He was the youngest and had a more outgoing personality, while I was shy and afraid to do anything by myself.

Mom has told me she loved me, but not often. Just like you...I tell my son I love him probably 20 times a day, seriously. I love him so much I can't help but tell him.

I was closer to my Dad too and when he passed away, I felt really alone with just Mom and my brother.

We only went to Sunday School. I think Mom wanted us to learn something about God. But then her and Dad got interested in camping so we started camping with my brother and I were still small enough to sleep on the same cot.

I did attend church with a friend in high school for a short time, but my mom didn't like driving me across town and then have to come pick me up again and that was when they weren't camping. I didn't always go camping with them because I had a part-time job.

I didn't have aunts and uncles who we were close with, Mom got on their nerves a lot so we weren't invited all the time. When I type this out, it's so easy to see why I've turned out like I have...still I have questions.

[DianaB]

I think that all of our life experiences are what forms us into what we are today. We carry with us things that we want to keep in our lives and ways that we'd do things differently. Some of the ways that I've been raised I kept but I certainly have added my own twist to how I wanted to parent my children or get along with my husband. And, my own children do things differently than I did.

My Mom has fun but she's not one to just let go and have a great time. She's very different than her 5 sisters. I can go with anyone of them and just laugh and cut up and have a great time. They don't understand why she is the way she is either but when I'm with them I feel so refreshed. I'm really looking forward to next weekend when we go to Branson, my Mom and I are going together but 4 of her sisters will be there too. I wish that you could join us, Janet. You'd laugh until your sides hurt. They are soooo much fun. I'll get some pictures of them.

[Forgivenmom5]

Diana I hope you have a great time. You deserve it and I am sure you could use a break right now.

[Gina]

Janet come here you need a hug.. . I think like Diana and Debbie mentioned we all had similar upbringings. My parents were giving, we didn't have much growing up. My mother was a very holy woman and always gave to the needy and helped family members who were down or sick. One thing I do remember was that my mother was not an appreciative person at least she didn't show you that, why I don't know to this day.She didn't believe in birthdays as we were growing up, later on she gave us a cake. Maybe she didn't know the traditon coming from Italy when she was younger. She spoiled me I have to say she would do away with buying herself and buy for me. She was a kind hearted woman and I know that she is in Heaven watching down on my family.

Kat good post, I did most of those things with my kids.

[HALEY]

oh Janet i feel your pain, my mother tired her best to raise us by herself, she never separated from my dad, but she should of, my dad was an abusive alcoholic, and without getting into detail, my childhood wasn't a very pleasent one.
That why i'm trying so hard to make my son's childhood a special one.
oh boy now you guys got me crying.

Hello All. Since katcarasella posted this poem for you to read and I wanted to say a few things about her as a MOM, since I am her daughter:

Well, the gift of hanging art on the fridge, my MOM displayed our art and it was the highlight of the house, *now my house is designed for my kids art* with this awesome clip system to post their work

The gift of helping strays, my MOM helped every animal in the city and she helped us hide strays from my dad, who was not a stray fan. We even kept them often as our own (Pepper, our first adopted stray, I think) ! *Now I take my girls to the humane society, and we foster sick animals*

Well, the favorite cake, my MOM made a secret ingredient cake for us (maybe she will share it here), and melted some special candy as frosting, *now I love to bake with my kids* We still chuckle about the "special cake"

My mom's unbelievable faith, I remember a time she was pretty sick (female stuff) and we were younger. I could not even think about losing her and I truly was scared to death, I remember her faith poured over and there was enough for both of us *now my kids say the cutest and sweetest prayers I have ever heard*

My mom gave us kisses at night and I still remember them....she was working to help with the finances on and off while we grew up, she would come home with these mini individual sized pound cakes, chocolate milk, and label them for us at the table. She would lay out our bowls, cereal, and spoons with a little homemade nametag, and a note "Do not wake me, I love you Jenny" and I would be soooo excited when I woke up. Ironically, I laid out my girls cereal and bowls, with a note for the first time about a week ago with a note, and truthfully I heard them talking, "Mommy loves us so much, she "set us up" this morning" Again, a gift from my mom.

My mom....ohhhhh this one......tears, tears, tears, she taught us to cry about a Hallmark commercial about a greeting card....now we all do it! Empathy that does not stop, even when actors are doing a commercial....love this gift too. Now my girls cry with me at every movie. We recently watched, THE ULTIMATE GIFT, very very very good, I suggest it....we needed a whole box of tissue for the 4 of us *my hubby too*. To this day, I call her crying or laughing really hard (she cannot tell the difference on the phone) and she says, "Jenny, Damn it, are you laughing or crying?" So she knows how to calm me or laugh with me.

Ohh the gift of seeing she cared....My mom DROVE with my sisters and BOYFRIEND across the country at least twice, to watch me graduate from the US Army and later US Army Airborne School (Hoor Raaahhh) and it is funny, I did not personally care as much about my accomplishments, as much as I cared about my mom thinking I was the best soldier out there. She is always so proud (she is soooo funny, I can administer IOWA tests to my kids now, and I called her to tell her how funny that is, "Color in the hole answer, use a no. 2 pencil" which is really not a HONOR or frankly a BIG deal and she was proud of me!). There is never a question whether or not she cares. I was pregnant this last December and desperately needing her...but I did not say it. My mom HATES travel in the winter, cold weather, and snow. There is a knock at the door, my house is in shambles, I have got 4 meal cooking at once, and there she is....luggage, dogs, and all. "Hi, I am here to help, are you surprised?" You could have tipped me over with a feather! She stayed for over 3 weeks and despite one temper tantrum on my part (hormones), we had theeeee most amazing time together.

So, I wanted to share with you that kids do watch and LEARN and I am thankful for my MOM. I think that I am a great MOM myself because of the things that she did "when I was not looking". GOSH, I am human and BOY, I make mistakes *huge ones too*, like speeding in UTAH and asking her to pretend we are going to the emergency room when we were heading to a wedding, nagging to borrow our family car without a license, having the party at my house (so she knew we were safe) and NOT remembering any of it (because of it, I refuse to drink & have never taken drugs....babies at home with a midwife, the extreme in many ways I think) It is funny, I learned to come to her regardless of the situation.

I can only hope that her example and unconditional LOVE will help me to be the best MOM I can be. Fortunately for my kids, if I cannot hit the mark, and I fail miserably....there is always Grammy (katcarasella)! ha ha ha

Thanks for letting me share.

[Forgivenmom5]

We all could tell kat is an amazing lady. Jenny you are lucky to have such a wonderful mom and sounds like she is lucky to have such a loving and wonderful daughter.

I have wonderful daughters too. Aren't we lucky Kat?

[katcarasella]

OMG I just read this, I don't know how I missed it!! I'm sitting here sobbing like a baby. She didn't even give me a heads up about this. Jenny, I Love You, mOm
I have to go change my avatar now.!! sniff ~ sniff

[Marilyn]

This is a beautiful thread. I don't know how I missed it. You know, even though we all have had different experiences, we all know how to love and be loved, and how to share with each other and express ourselves. My childhood was no where near perfect. We went to church, and both my parents loved me very much, but they, too were selfish in many ways. I won't go into details, but there was a lot that could have been better, and I tried very hard to do a better job of parenting than they did. Only my children can tell if I hit the mark. I know that they appreciate a lot of things, but they probably could do some complaining, too if they are completely honest.

We are all the kind of women who do the best we can with what we have to work with. Life isn't perfect. God didn't intend for this life to be without it's problems. He has prepared a better place for us that we must yearn for. Janet, it's never too late to learn. With our freedoms, I really believe that we have more access to God's Word than any other nation. It's everywhere, we just need to take the time to read it. There is a man who I've met who reads the New Testament through every week, and reads the entire Bible through more than once in a year. I don't know that we all need to go to that extreme.

You are all so special in your own unique ways. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friends!!!