I feel terrible...

[Chandra Amaya]

I encouraged my oldest son (who is 15) to tell the girl he likes that he likes her... well, he asked her out and she just replied with "I can't". They get along get, talk all the time. She is not dating anyone and was dating someone before. I feel bad for pushing him to tell her and he is crushed because she won't tell him the reason. I feel horrible.....any suggestions on how to help him through it?

[Janet]

My son is 17 Traci, but I have no advice here. That age totally sucks with all the emotions, hormones and peers. I wish my son was a little more outgoing, he doesn't date. Had one girlfriend, but she used him good. I always encourage him to ask a girl out, but never a certain girl. Ya just never know what they are going to answer with. Teens!!!

[Mandy]

Ouch Traci, it's a tough age!
Tell your son "it's her loss" and theres LOTS of other girls waiting inline for him to ask them out.
On second thought, please tell him to ENJOY his young life, and theres plenty of time still for him to date girls!
My son dated a girl for 9 months, it was a total nightmare, she had some baggage with her while she is a year younger then him, and he was so not ready for all that.
I now encourage him to stay single, stay young, and ENJOY life with his friends.

[judy]

Poor sweetie! He'll mope around for a while and then get over it. Keep telling him how wonderful he is and cook him his favorite foods.

[Gina]

I agree with Mandy 15 is a hard age and to keep telling him its her loss.. He will be fine, make him understand that this is part of life.. The rest have given you good advice. I know it hurts us more when our children hurt... This will not be the first time.... he is a little to young to be dating he has his plenty of time ahead for that. Tell him he should just be friends with girls nothing more...

Food is always a good comforter

[judy]

Originally Posted by Gina

I agree with Mandy 15 is a hard age and to keep telling him its her loss.. He will be fine, make him understand that this is part of life.. The rest have given you good advice. I know it hurts us more when our children hurt... This will not be the first time.... he is a little to young to be dating he has his plenty of time ahead for that. Tell him he should just be friends with girls nothing more...

Food is always a good comforter

If only they would just want to be friends with the girls! 15 year old boys (and girls) are walking hormones!

[Ponyup]

Maybe she actually can't date him. I don't know how old she is, but I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

Maybe she actually can't date him. I don't know how old she is, but I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16.

She was already dating someone before my son. I think it may be that his idea of dating is more like hanging out together than actual dating. They have been friends for over a year now and he has always liked her.

[teri88]

My son is 17 and he has not asked anyone out because he is afraid of the rejection. Kudos to your son for taking the chance...that's the only way he'll learn. Maybe she said "I can't" because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship they have. Tell him to keep on being friends with her and maybe she'll come around. Man, I would not want to be a teenager again for any amount of money.

[Chandra Amaya]

Originally Posted by teri88

My son is 17 and he has not asked anyone out because he is afraid of the rejection. Kudos to your son for taking the chance...that's the only way he'll learn. Maybe she said "I can't" because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship they have. Tell him to keep on being friends with her and maybe she'll come around. Man, I would not want to be a teenager again for any amount of money.

This was my thought as well Teri. I hope this is the case.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by teri88

My son is 17 and he has not asked anyone out because he is afraid of the rejection. Kudos to your son for taking the chance...that's the only way he'll learn. Maybe she said "I can't" because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship they have. Tell him to keep on being friends with her and maybe she'll come around. Man, I would not want to be a teenager again for any amount of money.

I agree. It's great that he had the courage. Everyone experiences rejection at some time or another. He'll grow from the experience, even if it's hard to watch as a mother. Give him a hug from me!

[DianaB]

I don't see that by saying "I can't" that she rejected your son. I would guess that there's some reason right now that she can't date him. Maybe since the last guy she dated her parents decided that she was too young and set some rules about dating. If he's friends with her then he needs to respect that for some reason or another she can't date right now. Maybe if he talked to her a little more about it he'd find out why it is that she can't date him. Maybe she doesn't want to lose the friendship that she has with him. Tell your son to keep his chin up and stay friends with her. Sometimes it's easier to be friends and eventually it turns into more.

[Chandra Amaya]

well, after talking to him more, he wasn't upset that she said no. He was upset that she didn't tell him why. He just said he needed a reason before he could really deal with it. We think that she may be scared. Apparently her previous boyfriend went psycho after they split and threatened a guy who liked her. She may just be concerned that this guy may harm my son. He is going to ask her if she can give him a reason and let her know that he is fine with her saying no, he just needs to know if it is something about him, just that she isn't ready, the friendship they already have, or what. He is letting her know that they will remain freinds and he respects her decision, but he needs to know the reason she made it.

[judy]

Good for him! He has a lot of self-esteem. I think that it's great thsat he knows his own feelings so well, and that he's not afraid to ask her for the truth.

Good values come from a good family!