A Trip to Wamarts

[judy]

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house.
Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever.
You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint.
You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch,
old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to
run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following.

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know,
you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.
You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.
Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it
on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.
The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt
in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.
The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says,
"I Got Worms".

In your 60's:

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog crap off your shoes.
The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready too. Don't' even notice the dog crap on your shoes.
The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart
and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.
The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.

[DianaB]

Change a few things to make this for a woman and I'm definitely with my age group!!!!! Thanks Judy!!! (Said sarcastically because of reminding me how old I am!)

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by DianaB

Change a few things to make this for a woman and I'm definitely with my age group!!!!! Thanks Judy!!! (Said sarcastically because of reminding me how old I am!)

I'm in my 20's and I definitely don't get dressed up to go to Walmart.

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

I'm in my 20's and I definitely don't get dressed up to go to Walmart.

I wish that this was from a woman's point of view. It never fails that if I go to town really grungy I run into a classmate, who I'd rather not run into in the first place, and they're all dressed up! My hair's a mess, nails have dirt under them, and mud all over one leg---Never fails!!!! It never seems to work the other way when I'm all dressed up.

[Marilyn]

I ran to K-Mart once on Thanksgiving to grab something. No makeup, old sweatshirt, jeans and fuzzy slippers. The TV crew was there filming people who had not done their shopping on time. I waved them away, and yes, I was on the evening news, full body shot. Never fails!!!

[DianaB]

Originally Posted by Marilyn

I ran to K-Mart once on Thanksgiving to grab something. No makeup, old sweatshirt, jeans and fuzzy slippers. The TV crew was there filming people who had not done their shopping on time. I waved them away, and yes, I was on the evening news, full body shot. Never fails!!!

I'm sorry that I missed that one!! LOL

[teri88]

oh very cute! And so darned true!

[Janet]

I'm pretty much within the age group too, we should rewrite it for a woman....LOL.

I never clean up to go to Wal Mart...the only thing I would do for instance would be to change from my stretch shorts (that I paint in) to regular shorts and I'd be on my way. They'd be able to tell I was in after something to finish the job and NOT to shop...LOLOL