whos the boss

10-17-2006, 09:14 AM

in your household? do you wear the trousers in your relationship? or does your partner? or are you both the same? id say my partner and i are mosty the same but i think im in the trousers a bit more than him lol. this might sound bad but i do think men have to be trained lol let them think its there idea in the first place and then you get what you want without them even knowing lol

mindyou mine is a softy anyway and i just need to look at him with puppy eyes and he says yes to anything anyway lol

DianaB · 10-17-2006, 09:29 AM

I think that in our household it's pretty much shared. My husband is a pretty easy going guy and after 32 years of marriage there really isn't too much that we really argue or disagree over. When we do disagree, which isn't very often, my husband makes the final decision because he is the leader of our home. Sometimes I don't always agree, but in order to be a godly wife I am to obey my husband. I can only think of two or three times that he made a decision that I didn't agree with. As I said he's pretty easy going.

I know that everyone doesn't agree with this but this is the way that the home is set up in the Bible. My husband doesn't abuse his authority and I honor the authority that God has given him.

Janet · 10-17-2006, 09:37 AM

I'd have to say most times I'm in charge and sometimes I get pretty sick of it. I have to decide most everything except when it comes to money and big purchases. Although I did buy my babies even though he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do....now he does....he just has to be convinced.

RLC12345678 · 10-17-2006, 10:20 AM

When people ask this question, my hubby and I always give the same answer....we both wear one leg of the trousers, but my leg is just a little bit bigger than his leg.

But seriously, we both are in charge. There are things that he cares very strongly about that he will not budge on (like me getting anymore pets right now) and there are things that I feel very strongly about that I will not budge on. Otherwise, we let each other make our own decisions. We are a good team when it comes to making dinner and cleaning the house, so neither of us has to boss the other around to get these things done. And we are big boys and girls and we know how to manage our money. We each know what kinds of things are out of our price range and we just don't buy those things and there's just no arguement about it. So, there really is no need for one or the other of us to be "in charge."

magnolia · 10-17-2006, 01:11 PM

Well, let's see - when we got married, we were a lot like Rebecca - we both shared the "trouser wearer" title. Then, when first child came along, he was the boss (LOL!). And forget it when 2nd child came along - then they BOTH were the boss. Oh, reverse, back up.....before firstborn, our first yorkie, Katie, was definitely the boss!!! Okay, now after child 2......oh, now Gabby and Gage are the boss. Um......er......wait a sec......you mean of the household as far as discipline and finances go, right??? Okay, um.....that would mean it would still be Gabby and Gage - they keep the boys in line and all our money goes to them

Seriously, hubby and I have always shared everything in the house - from finances, to discipline, down to decorating (furniture, paint, etc.). If there's something he wants, we talk about it first - he doesn't just go out and get it (unless it's clothes for himself) - and the same for me. Big ticket items, we talk about first.

Mandy · 10-18-2006, 04:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by magnolia

Well, let's see - when we got married, we were a lot like Rebecca - we both shared the "trouser wearer" title. Then, when first child came along, he was the boss (LOL!). And forget it when 2nd child came along - then they BOTH were the boss. Oh, reverse, back up.....before firstborn, our first yorkie, Katie, was definitely the boss!!! Okay, now after child 2......oh, now Gabby and Gage are the boss. Um......er......wait a sec......you mean of the household as far as discipline and finances go, right??? Okay, um.....that would mean it would still be Gabby and Gage - they keep the boys in line and all our money goes to them

Seriously, hubby and I have always shared everything in the house - from finances, to discipline, down to decorating (furniture, paint, etc.). If there's something he wants, we talk about it first - he doesn't just go out and get it (unless it's clothes for himself) - and the same for me. Big ticket items, we talk about first.

In our house, it's much the same as Magnolia's .... Big ticket items get discussed first. When it comes down to getting things for our fur girls and our son, we just agree without having to speak about it

rivermom · 10-21-2006, 08:38 AM

We both are equal really, but in reality I still place my husband as "head of the household". Big stuff we discuss ($$), little stuff we don't even talk about. Our business he definitely has control over regarding employee's, purchases, the way it's ran, etc.

My previous marriage I felt i was in charge of everything, my ex-husband is a totally weak and lying sorry ass of a person. I found it completely draining to "not have a man" in my life.

So, my marriage now I find it extreamly comforting to know I am under my husbands wing sorta say. It works for us and we both are happy by the way our lives are lead with each other.

Janet · 10-21-2006, 01:24 PM

I truly wish I didn't have to be in charge, but if I wasn't, nothing would ever get done. I even have to decide if we go out to eat and where and what time. If I just say for him to decide, we end up staying home. So sad. I just want someone else to take control once in awhile, and he knows. So, que sera, sera!

2tiredmom · 10-21-2006, 01:28 PM

My husband wears the pants except to bed. LMAO. Sorry I just had to say that.
We share in the duties. He helps around the house but he has more smarts about some things than what I do. After all he went to college and I didn't.
But I love him to pieces.........

Janet · 10-22-2006, 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2tiredmom

My husband wears the pants except to bed. LMAO. Sorry I just had to say that.
We share in the duties. He helps around the house but he has more smarts about some things than what I do. After all he went to college and I didn't.
But I love him to pieces.........

Linda, you are so much smarter than you give yourself credit for!!! So start believing it! I don't think the Myer's know any other way than to be in charge. You just have domineering in-laws and it's hard to get a voice!

Can you tell Linda and I know each others families very well? Ha Ha Ha

My youngest brother is married to Linda's husband's sister. Linda and I can't stand our mutual sister-in-law!!!!

Tink · 10-22-2006, 02:14 PM

Being married to an over the road trucker, I'm usually home to deal with things much more than he is, so the general day to day stuff is up to me. I do get his opinion on things I'm not fully decided on, and when it comes to major things, he certainly is involved.

I was the one who found and negotiatied the land contract on our current home. I homeschooled the 2 younger kids, take care of our finances, and pretty much choose the things we have/use in our home. I also buy most of hubbies clothes for him. It's as much a matter of convenience as my "wearing the pants" since he's usually only home part of sat and sunday and living where we do, it's close to an hr drive to any city where we can shop.

Right now we're trying to decide whether we should fix up the mobil home we're living in or replace it in a couple of years when the mortgage is paid off on our place. We plan for this to be our retirement home; so need to have it fit to live in for another 25 or so years. This type of decision we make together.

Kimberley · 10-23-2006, 06:44 AM

For the LONGEST time, I wore the pants. My husband couldn't make a decision on his own if his life depended on it. I even told him once to "grow a pair". In fact, if it wasn't for me, we'd still be renting a house. I picked out the house even before he had a chance to see it...BUT, his parents rented for over 30 years before buying their first house and I guess that's how he thought people should live. I wanted something to call my own.

I try to include him in the decision making process and he will participate sometimes, but mostly, he leaves it up to me. I guess then, if I mess up in a decision, he doesn't have to take the blame for anything.

Janet · 10-23-2006, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kimberley

For the LONGEST time, I wore the pants. My husband couldn't make a decision on his own if his life depended on it. I even told him once to "grow a pair". In fact, if it wasn't for me, we'd still be renting a house. I picked out the house even before he had a chance to see it...BUT, his parents rented for over 30 years before buying their first house and I guess that's how he thought people should live. I wanted something to call my own.

I try to include him in the decision making process and he will participate sometimes, but mostly, he leaves it up to me. I guess then, if I mess up in a decision, he doesn't have to take the blame for anything.

Same here Kimberley!! I get so tired of making most of the decisions. It feels like at times I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. A few years after we built our home (back in '76) it needed painting and touch ups. I did it all myself and the next time too. I decided to have it all in vinyl siding and trim, so no more painting.

I usually run things past him, but I'm the one usually with the final decision. Just gets old.

10-17-2006, 09:14 AM	#1
sashajade Guest Posts: n/a	whos the boss in your household? do you wear the trousers in your relationship? or does your partner? or are you both the same? id say my partner and i are mosty the same but i think im in the trousers a bit more than him lol. this might sound bad but i do think men have to be trained lol let them think its there idea in the first place and then you get what you want without them even knowing lol mindyou mine is a softy anyway and i just need to look at him with puppy eyes and he says yes to anything anyway lol

10-17-2006, 09:29 AM	#2
DianaB Moderator Donating 4WT 13K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas Posts: 16,069	I think that in our household it's pretty much shared. My husband is a pretty easy going guy and after 32 years of marriage there really isn't too much that we really argue or disagree over. When we do disagree, which isn't very often, my husband makes the final decision because he is the leader of our home. Sometimes I don't always agree, but in order to be a godly wife I am to obey my husband. I can only think of two or three times that he made a decision that I didn't agree with. As I said he's pretty easy going. I know that everyone doesn't agree with this but this is the way that the home is set up in the Bible. My husband doesn't abuse his authority and I honor the authority that God has given him. __________________ ´¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Diana Baker ✞ You and I are friends....... Always remember that if you fall I will pick you up...... After I stop laughing!!!

10-17-2006, 09:37 AM	#3
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	I'd have to say most times I'm in charge and sometimes I get pretty sick of it. I have to decide most everything except when it comes to money and big purchases. Although I did buy my babies even though he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do....now he does....he just has to be convinced. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

10-17-2006, 10:20 AM	#4
RLC12345678 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,614	When people ask this question, my hubby and I always give the same answer....we both wear one leg of the trousers, but my leg is just a little bit bigger than his leg. But seriously, we both are in charge. There are things that he cares very strongly about that he will not budge on (like me getting anymore pets right now) and there are things that I feel very strongly about that I will not budge on. Otherwise, we let each other make our own decisions. We are a good team when it comes to making dinner and cleaning the house, so neither of us has to boss the other around to get these things done. And we are big boys and girls and we know how to manage our money. We each know what kinds of things are out of our price range and we just don't buy those things and there's just no arguement about it. So, there really is no need for one or the other of us to be "in charge." __________________ Rebecca "To whom much is given, much is expected." ~Luke 12:48

10-17-2006, 01:11 PM	#5
magnolia Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Mississippi Posts: 482	Well, let's see - when we got married, we were a lot like Rebecca - we both shared the "trouser wearer" title. Then, when first child came along, he was the boss (LOL!). And forget it when 2nd child came along - then they BOTH were the boss. Oh, reverse, back up.....before firstborn, our first yorkie, Katie, was definitely the boss!!! Okay, now after child 2......oh, now Gabby and Gage are the boss. Um......er......wait a sec......you mean of the household as far as discipline and finances go, right??? Okay, um.....that would mean it would still be Gabby and Gage - they keep the boys in line and all our money goes to them Seriously, hubby and I have always shared everything in the house - from finances, to discipline, down to decorating (furniture, paint, etc.). If there's something he wants, we talk about it first - he doesn't just go out and get it (unless it's clothes for himself) - and the same for me. Big ticket items, we talk about first. __________________ Suzi "Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been"....Jimmy Buffett

10-21-2006, 08:38 AM	#7
rivermom Donating 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Tontitown, Arkansas Posts: 2,475	We both are equal really, but in reality I still place my husband as "head of the household". Big stuff we discuss ($$), little stuff we don't even talk about. Our business he definitely has control over regarding employee's, purchases, the way it's ran, etc. My previous marriage I felt i was in charge of everything, my ex-husband is a totally weak and lying sorry ass of a person. I found it completely draining to "not have a man" in my life. So, my marriage now I find it extreamly comforting to know I am under my husbands wing sorta say. It works for us and we both are happy by the way our lives are lead with each other. __________________ ~_/> , /\/\ ,,, Sheryl When I grow up I want to be a horse whisperer!

10-21-2006, 01:24 PM	#8
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,624	I truly wish I didn't have to be in charge, but if I wasn't, nothing would ever get done. I even have to decide if we go out to eat and where and what time. If I just say for him to decide, we end up staying home. So sad. I just want someone else to take control once in awhile, and he knows. So, que sera, sera! __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

10-21-2006, 01:28 PM	#9
2tiredmom Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,367	My husband wears the pants except to bed. LMAO. Sorry I just had to say that. We share in the duties. He helps around the house but he has more smarts about some things than what I do. After all he went to college and I didn't. But I love him to pieces......... __________________ The real measure of a woman's wealth is what she has invested in eternity. Linda aka 2tiredmom

10-22-2006, 02:14 PM	#11
Tink Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Rural Wisconsin Posts: 3,707	Being married to an over the road trucker, I'm usually home to deal with things much more than he is, so the general day to day stuff is up to me. I do get his opinion on things I'm not fully decided on, and when it comes to major things, he certainly is involved. I was the one who found and negotiatied the land contract on our current home. I homeschooled the 2 younger kids, take care of our finances, and pretty much choose the things we have/use in our home. I also buy most of hubbies clothes for him. It's as much a matter of convenience as my "wearing the pants" since he's usually only home part of sat and sunday and living where we do, it's close to an hr drive to any city where we can shop. Right now we're trying to decide whether we should fix up the mobil home we're living in or replace it in a couple of years when the mortgage is paid off on our place. We plan for this to be our retirement home; so need to have it fit to live in for another 25 or so years. This type of decision we make together. __________________ 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair'

10-23-2006, 06:44 AM	#12
Kimberley Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: The Lone Star State Posts: 671	For the LONGEST time, I wore the pants. My husband couldn't make a decision on his own if his life depended on it. I even told him once to "grow a pair". In fact, if it wasn't for me, we'd still be renting a house. I picked out the house even before he had a chance to see it...BUT, his parents rented for over 30 years before buying their first house and I guess that's how he thought people should live. I wanted something to call my own. I try to include him in the decision making process and he will participate sometimes, but mostly, he leaves it up to me. I guess then, if I mess up in a decision, he doesn't have to take the blame for anything. __________________ Kimberley "If you can read this, thank a teacher and since it's in English, thank a soldier"

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