Making friends

[Lindsey]

On Saturday it was beautiful and I planned to spend the whole afternoon outside. In the morning I had dropped Scott off with a friend (they were going to Edmonton for a bachelor party) and took Layla to acupuncture (what a nightmare... she was so stressed and restless!) and finally got home. I put her crate out on the deck, and brought some cushions and a book outside and settled in to read.

After a few minutes I thought I might as well do Layla's exercises with her, and express her bladder. I was out in the grass expressing her when our neighbor came to the fence. He introduced himself and I introduced myself. He asked if we were getting settled in and I said "Well we've been trying, but this little dog here was paralyzed a couple of weeks ago so she's taking up a lot of our time" and he said awwww and asked what happened. After some explaining and his well wishes, he said his wife was having a clothing party that afternoon, and she'd love to have me over and I could meet some of the neighborhood ladies if I was interested. It was starting in half an hour. I thought, why not?

I had never been to a clothing party before, and I was in for a surprise. First of all, I felt a little bit out of place because all of the women were much older than me, which wouldn't be a big problem, but there was nothing for me to talk about. They all have kids, some are teenagers, they are mostly all stay at home moms. The clothing was not my style at all, but I pretended to be really interested. Then we all had to try on an outfit that was chosen by the woman who came to sell everything, and I of course got to put on something I would NEVER wear, but at least it fit. Afterwards we got our order forms and I felt obligated to buy something since I was the new person there and had come over and had drinks and I felt I should maybe support the whole idea. Plus, I'm sure they look at us and see we bought this big house next door and think we must have money But that house is the reason we DON'T!

Anyways, so I'm flipping through the catalogue, looking for something I might want. There was actually one cardigan that looked really nice and was a little younger looking. It could be worn lots of different ways. I found it in the catalogue... $83!!! Are you kidding me? I could go to one of my regular stores and buy 4 or 5 shirts for that price! The more I looked, I realized the prices were outrageous. $40 for a tank top. $100 for a hooded long sleeved shirt. I finally picked out a sport bra for $44 and paid on my visa. It was one of the cheapest things in the whole catalogue.

Then things were awkward because everyone was mingling and they all knew each other and I had nothing to talk about. I did start talking with one woman about dogs and I wrote about what happened there in my Layla thread. I started feeling like nobody wanted to talk to me or didn't know how to talk to me, and they were all just talking about their kids anyway, or other people they all knew. After being there for almost 4 hours I was getting panicky about Layla being in her crate alone at home and I was looking for a way out. Thankfully Scott started texting me and I just said "It looks like I have to run home, but thanks for everything!" None of them knew he wasn't actually in town for the weekend.

I just felt relief as soon as I got home. I'm glad I did it but it was so awkward and I didn't feel comfortable at all. I was glad to be home with Layla again. She missed me. After about an hour, the doorbell rang so I ran downstairs to get it, and it was the woman from next door. She said she just wanted me to know anytime we see them sitting out in their yard having a drink, we can feel free to come join them. She also said she's home all day every day if I ever want to stop by for coffee or anything. She is really nice so I'm glad she stopped by to make an extra effort. They have three young kids, two boys and one little girl, and they are all adorable. I think Scott and I could end up being good friends with them!

[Blueyes]

I'm glad you met your neighbors, but 4 hours is a long time to spend with strangers, lol! Maybe you will become good friends! I hope Layla gets a little better every day

[judy]

It sounds like your neighbor is very nice. She is going out of her way to make friends with you.

The party sounds awful, but I agree with you that you should have gone. You might make some friends, acquaintances, or just know people to say hi to. Anyway, it sounds like your neighbor was appreciative!

Hope your new $44 bra is comfy at least! I probably would have done the same thing. Now you know - no more clothing parties!

[Lindsey]

Lol definitely no more! I talked with a friend about it today and she was like "Oh yeah I got invited to a clothing party for that brand before, so I looked online first and there was nothing nice, and way too expensive, so I didn't go!" Lol I guess I'll know for next time. The woman next door is now buying into the company too so she'll be selling it.

I'm always awkward with people like that because sometimes it feels like you can't be friends with them if you're not buying their stuff. Scott has a friend who had one of these parties just before we moved out here. It was Arbonne which is really nice stuff (I have some face wash and moisturizer my cousin gave me for free because she didn't like it) but OMG EXPENSIVE. A little jar of moisturizer is not worth $90 to me. And I needed mascara at the time but wasn't going to buy it for $36. I let her know that with moving right away I didn't really have extra money, so could I get in touch with her another time, and she said yeah she understands but it would be best and she would prefer if I could buy something that night (because she gets bonuses for having big selling nights). And now I'm kind of putting off hanging out with her because I haven't bought anything yet, and don't want to. It's a good way to alienate people I think.

[MaddieBoo]

That party does not sound like the most fun, but your neighbor seems to be nice!

Those types of parties can make people so uncomfortable, I don't think I could ever host one. Try not to feel obligated, the hosts must know that that stuff is ridiculously overpriced!

That sports bra better be diamond encrusted lol!

[Lindsey]

I don't know, everyone was buying stuff and saying how much they loved the line! And most of her friends have committed to hosting parties with my neighbor when she starts. With most of them being stay at home moms, I have no idea how they could afford anything!

At the Arbonne party, the girl gave everyone a little box and inside was a percentage off of some package of products if you chose to buy it. They went from 20% to even 100%. The catch was, you had to commit to hosting one of her parties before you could open the box and get the discount. She went one by one around the circle and everyone had to say if they would host or not. Everyone felt put on the spot! It was pretty awkward.

[paula1961]

I've never been to a clothing party. I'm glad you went and got to meet your neighbor. It was nice of her to come over to your house and invite you and Scott to join her and her husband when their outside.
I just would politely say no to anymore clothing party invitations. Like the others said.......that sports bra better be really really comfy for that price!

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by paula1961

Like the others said.......that sports bra better be really really comfy for that price!

I'll let you know when I get it! It should take a couple of weeks.

[Janet]

I decided a long time ago that I was no longer going to feel obligated to buy something at these parties. A lot of times, they get 'credit' for having so many people there so I will sometimes do my part just by attending and socializing.

Most of those parties are way out of my budget. After feeling like I HAD to buy something and then regretting that I did...I decided to just tell them when I'm invited that I don't have the extra money to purchase anything.

[Lindsey]

I think I will do that from now on Janet. Yeah, I have the big house, but that comes with a big mortgage. I have a paralyzed dog that cost an arm and a leg for surgery, not to mention physical therapy, acupuncture, and things we've purchased at home for her rehabilitation. I'm glad I went, but I think I will politely refuse next time!

[judy]

The women at the party who agreed to host their own parties remind me of "The
Stepford Wives."

Can you tell Scott's cousin that you just can't afford to buy Arbonne (great stuff though!) because of Layla's vet bills? I would think that if she can't wrap her mind around that, she isn't worth your friendship.

You really have to post pix of your new bra! If nothing else, you can glue on rhinestones and feathers.

[Lindsey]

Originally Posted by judy

The women at the party who agreed to host their own parties remind me of "The
Stepford Wives."

Can you tell Scott's cousin that you just can't afford to buy Arbonne (great stuff though!) because of Layla's vet bills? I would think that if she can't wrap her mind around that, she isn't worth your friendship.

You really have to post pix of your new bra! If nothing else, you can glue on rhinestones and feathers.

Lol if only you could see they look like anything but Stepford Wives!

I'll take a picture of my bra when I get it lol. I will for sure have to start working out when it comes so I didn't spend that money for nothing!

[DianaB]

It's always awkward meeting new people but I'm glad that you went. You got to meet your neighbors.

I had a friend that used to have all kinds of home parties and since I was her best friend I felt that I had to go. I learned to just say no......no to buying......and no to hosting a party. I went just for her and to visit with others. I know that when I have a party I don't expect others to feel pressured into buying.....because things are expensive. I tell them to just come and have fun. Next time just tell them that I came to just visit with everyone but I really don't have the money to spend right now with all of our moving expenses. They'll understand.

I don't have parties very often but once I did a Tastefully Simple party and it was so much fun!! It was party dip mixes, soup mixes, drink mixes, and dessert mixes. I made up a bunch of samples and everyone got to taste everything!! We laughed and had so much fun!! I told people just to come and have fun but several of them bought stuff....but you could spend just $10 and have a little something. If you're ever invited to one of those parties I encourage you to go.

Enough about me.......I'm glad that you went!! Next time don't feel like you have to buy. Oh, but I AM having a jewelry party next fall.......are you interested in seeing a catalog? LOL

[Lindsey]

Lol, the bra has arrived!!!!!!!!!!

There was a bag stuck in our front screen door one day after work last week. A few days ago the neighbor stopped by to see if I got it. I haven't used it yet except just to try on. It looks like just a regular old sports bra lol. When my foot heals and I can start working out I'll find out if it was worth the $44!

[JJJ]

Where's the picture