My Son

[Janet]

My son loves basketball. He's not the greatest player, but could have been much better had the "popular" boys on the team not given him a hard time.

Anyway....he has volunteered to be the team manager. He has done this before and liked it. I wish he had more of my spunk and played like he would really like to and not let the other boys get to him. I don't understand why he would want to manage a team with boys who...well he doesn't really care for and who treated him so badly.

I didn't question him...I try to get him to get more involved at school, he has to make choices, but this one really gets me. He'll have to go to all the practices and all the games. I don't know if I'm asking for advice or what here. It's just one of those things that has me puzzled.

[2tiredmom]

Manager is a great help for the team. Dustin played basketball up here. BUT
since he wasn't raised up here and grew up with the other boys he got to sit the bench even though he gave it his all. So his senior year up here he played on Varsity. Yeah Right. He warmed the bench. But at the end of the year he got a plaque for being there at every practice and every game no matter if he played or not. Needless to say. When graduation came around and his coaches came to his open house I made it known how I felt. Sorry I still get worked up thinking about how the coaches do things. It's who you are sometimes.
Just encourage him. He will be reconized.

[DianaB]

You, yourself, said that he had done this before and liked it. I read your remarks to my 14 yo daughter and she said that even though he's not actually playing he's still part of the team.

We have a girl that was a volleyball team manager. I couldn't figure out why she would want to be a manager but she took pride in every game that they played and was a part of everything that went on with the girls. She was always there to cheer the girls on.

Who can ever figure out why kids do the things that they do?

[Gina]

Originally Posted by Janet

My son loves basketball. He's not the greatest player, but could have been much better had the "popular" boys on the team not given him a hard time.

Anyway....he has volunteered to be the team manager. He has done this before and liked it. I wish he had more of my spunk and played like he would really like to and not let the other boys get to him. I don't understand why he would want to manage a team with boys who...well he doesn't really care for and who treated him so badly.

I didn't question him...I try to get him to get more involved at school, he has to make choices, but this one really gets me. He'll have to go to all the practices and all the games. I don't know if I'm asking for advice or what here. It's just one of those things that has me puzzled.

Janet sports are very how should I say policital. My son always had the love of baseball. Since he was 2 he was always with bat and ball in hand. He played little league from 5 on and went on to play high school being MVP and then on to College baseball. Up to second year of college something happened and it turned my son off completely to the game. He was always put on the bench , mind you he is a great ballplayer and has so many trophies and stats to prove it. He won a partial scholarship last year to go to Utica College, but he declined it. He lost the love for the sport , he said to me its not how good you are but who you know. It broke my heart for this boy lived, dreamt and did everything for baseball.

As far as your son, it hurts when others are rude or don't treat him fairly or equally, your son seems like a great kid and overlooks how they treated him. I would support him and just mention that if things get rough he could always walk away. I think he wants to prove that he still loves the sport and is not letting past experience get in his way. He is truly a wonderful boy...

[Janet]

Thanks ladies for all the advice and experiences. It really helped.

I remember a couple of years ago, when he was playing basketball, I think it was 7th grade, and when I would pick him up from practice, he would wait until we got away from school and then his tears would fall. Some jerk would say "he shouldn't even be playing" or if he missed a pass or something during practice they'd say "wait to go". It really hurt his feelings. Part of the reason he made mistakes is because he felt so intimidated. I just didn't or rather don't, understand why he would still want to be around these guys....but like you all said, I will support and encourage him all the way. He really is a great kid.

[Brooke]

My son had the same sort of thing... He is so shy and kids were not kind. But he is a senior in college and is doing so much better... He is more out going and has found his place in life...As a child and even a teen it killed me to see him so shy, he had few friends. But they grow up and are wonderful... don't sweat it, he will find where he feels more comfortablle. I feel for ya!

i had sort of a similiar situation like that... i cheered and did gymnastics since i was 5 and had won alot of awards for it...then i got on a squad where i wasnt the coachs favorite and they basically "put me on the bench" it almost made me quit cheerleading and i realized how some of the other girl who were shunned must have felt.. i switched sqauds and found coachs who were equal and encouraging to everyone and it was the best time of my life... maybe your son just needs to find his nitch...and tell those other boys to back off... baseball is a team sport and im sure that his talent is needed somewhere.