Layla

[Lindsey]

I am worried that Scott and I won't make it through this together.

[Blueyes]

Why not?

[Lindsey]

It's so hard. I've been with her 24 hours a day since she got home and I feel like I'm alone because Scott is doing other things he thinks need to get done like rearranging furniture so we can watch movies better, or vacuuming the ceiling fans or whatever and then tells me I can't just let the house fall down around me because Layla is sick. Then last night he said I need to pay more attention to him, and I said Layla is my biggest concern right now. He said I'm obsessed with trying to convince myself she'll get better.

This morning I tried to have a few seconds of normalcy by checking my email after I got ready for work, so I left Layla alone for a minute and as soon as he saw me he yelled "WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT ON YOUR COMPUTER THAN TAKING CARE OF LAYLA?!" and I yelled back saying he told me not to spend all my time with her, and then I ran to Layla and collapsed on the floor and bawled beside her. On the way to work I was asking if he remembered to pack blah blah blah for her and he assured me he went through the whole list I made last night. We got here and he didn't pack anything for her to take her pills with, except an apple slice that I can't hide pills in. I called him and asked how he gave her pills with an apple slice, there was sandwich meat on the list and he said he would pack everything. And he got angry and hung up on me. So I was left all alone trying to feed Layla her pain killers and crying at work trying to get anything down her throat.

I am just feeling SO ALONE. I am her only caretaker, and I was awake with her until 4 am while he slept, and I have to be with her all day and give her the meds and make sure she's happy and comfortable while still getting work done. I love her and I don't resent her at all but I am just spreading so thin, I am exhausted, I am not eating, and I am getting sick myself. When I try to lean on Scott and try to get hope that she will be okay and this is all for SOMETHING, he tells me I'm stressing him out and bringing him down.

I feel like my life is falling apart.

[paula1961]

I can't speak for all men but.....I just don't think that most of them would completely understand how we feel about our babies(skin and fur). Women have a maternal side that most men just don't have. I'm sure that Scott loves Layla and maybe he is just dealing with his feelings in a different way than you. I certainly hope that you guys can get through this together Lynsey. You two have been through alot together. I will continue to pray for you Scott and Layla. I think about you everyday and I know that you are heart broken. I hope soon that things are back to as normal as they can be given your situation. Try to stay strong girl. Layla is soooooo worth what you have done and are still doing for her. Hugs to you Lyns.

[Lindsey]

Thank you Paula. He said he will use his lunch break to pick up some meat and drive it over for her pills this afternoon. I know he really loves both of us.

[DIANE W]

Ahhh Lindsey I am so upset for everything you are going through, and baby Layla.....

I think he must be feeling a little bit neglected (I know he shouldn't and needs to be supportive), in my experience most men are not good with coping with illness and crisis, I personally think he is being a little selfish, but i am sure deep down he really doesnt mean to. Sometimes how a person is behaving and the affect it has on others are not always obvious.

It is difficult for any couple trying to get through times like this, it just needs working out. But i know it is very hard for you, and i totally understand how you must be feeling..... like you are doing it all alone.
Maybe you do have the very strong maternal bond with Layla that he doesnt have, even though i am sure he loves her very much.

Take care I hope this all works out well for all of you, stress makes people say and do unpleasant things at times, I am sure once you get through it you will be a stronger couple

Sending you all a big hug... especially darling Layla.

[judy]

Welcome to how men deal with a crisis!!! It is very normal for a couple to fight when there is stress, and you both have a lot! You bought the house, and just moved in, and now Layla needs to recover.

If you can, try to remember how much he does love you and Layla. (Just look on FB at his picture kissing her). The reality is that nobody is there for you, or on the same page as you are 100% of the time. You don't really need him to lean on. You are quite strong on your own. He is there, he loves you both, and is doing his best. I would say he is a stand up guy.

If he starts to complain, or yell, don't answer if you can do that. Less is best, and he may just not realize he is just taking his stress on the nearest person around.