Never ending thread....

[RLC12345678]

My parents always told me that they wanted me to get some higher education (like higher than undergrad) before they would give me thier blessing to get married. Well, my now hubby and I felt that the right time for us to get married was after we both finished undergrad. I knew it would be a total and complete shock for my parents if Willl just showed up and asked for my hand in marriage since they thought we were going to wait, so I had to warn them beforehand. I told them that Will and I were thinking about getting married. My mom cried and siad I was too young, my dad was happy for me, and after a few minutes of crying, my mom said that we would have her blessing. So, then a week or so later, Will came and asked my parents for their permission. So, this kind of relates to Melissa's story because, like me, she probably would never want to marry someone whom her parents wouldn't approve of. I wanted to make sure my parents approved of Will enough for me to marry him and I had to know that before I wanted Will to ask them for their permission.

One reason my mom was so hesitant is because she finished undergrad in 3 years and got married at age 21 immediately after undergrad then divorced 2 years later (no children...she married my dad when she was 29 and had me and my 2 sisters...my mom and dad are still married 25 yeras later). Like my mom, I graduated undergrad in 3 years and got married at 21 (3 days after I graduated college), but unlike my mom, my hubby and I are going strong a year and a half later. I just had to tell my mom that there are different strokes for different folks and everyone is different.

[Janet]

I wish I would have talked with my mother before we got married. She was not asked for permission. Dad was already gone by then. I remember about 20 years ago, Mom told me that when hubby and I were dating, they hoped I didn't marry him. I had no idea! My Mom loves him to pieces now, but I wonder if I had known that, if I would have married so young (19 years old). I tell everyone that asks, to wait as long as possible. Too much growing up yet to do, at least for me, anyway.

[RLC12345678]

Originally Posted by Janet

I wish I would have talked with my mother before we got married. She was not asked for permission. Dad was already gone by then. I remember about 20 years ago, Mom told me that when hubby and I were dating, they hoped I didn't marry him. I had no idea! My Mom loves him to pieces now, but I wonder if I had known that, if I would have married so young (19 years old). I tell everyone that asks, to wait as long as possible. Too much growing up yet to do, at least for me, anyway.

My mom and my grandmother (who married when she was 18) have both always told my 2 sisters and me to wait as long as possible to get married.

[Passionfruition]

Originally Posted by Janet

I wish I would have talked with my mother before we got married. She was not asked for permission. Dad was already gone by then. I remember about 20 years ago, Mom told me that when hubby and I were dating, they hoped I didn't marry him. I had no idea! My Mom loves him to pieces now, but I wonder if I had known that, if I would have married so young (19 years old). I tell everyone that asks, to wait as long as possible. Too much growing up yet to do, at least for me, anyway.

My husband and I were both 22 when we first got married.....and we didn't know it at the time but WOW we both had (and still have) a lot of growing up to do. (We're both 25 now.) I agree, it's best to wait as long as possible....though I can't exactly say I regret getting married at 22 nor would I trade all our happy times together!!!! (EVER!)

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by Janet

I wish I would have talked with my mother before we got married. She was not asked for permission. Dad was already gone by then. I remember about 20 years ago, Mom told me that when hubby and I were dating, they hoped I didn't marry him. I had no idea! My Mom loves him to pieces now, but I wonder if I had known that, if I would have married so young (19 years old). I tell everyone that asks, to wait as long as possible. Too much growing up yet to do, at least for me, anyway.

Janet, my hubby and I were married when I was 18 and he was 20. I'm now 21 and he's 23 and we LOVE being married. I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world. (He asked my mom permission, too, which I thought was SO sweet!)
My mom loved him, but obviously didn't want us to get married at such a young age. She told us her opinion but gave us her blessing...and even paid for the wedding! I think now she realizes that even though 18 and 20 is too young for most people, we haven't had any more problems than people who marry later. I would even go as far to say that we have less issues than the average married couple (though there is no way to be completely sure of this).

I think it's important if you marry young to REALLY discuss your future in great detail. We knew we would have to make it through college while being married, that we were going to wait a LONG time to have children so that we would be as ready as possible, and that it would be tough financially for several years. We were okay with that.

For us, marrying young worked out wonderfully. However, seeing most of our married friends' relationships (the ones who married young), I wouldn't suggest it to most people. Many of them have VERY tough issues to deal with and are either going through divorce or on the verge of divorce. They didn't know what to expect or their partner turned out to be different than the "perfect" person they had imagined. It is heartbreaking to witness...

[judy]

A good marriage! What a wonderful thing. I have quite a few friends with good marriages, and it's a real blessing. I don't think I could be close with someone who is in a bad marriage anymore. That's one of the amazing benefits about being 60 and retired - you get to choose things you didn't know you had a right to choose before.

What do I wish for? I'm not sure. I'm pretty happy right now having just retired from teaching in November. I'm still in transition so I'm not sure where I'm headed.
Maybe I'll go live in Costa Rica or maybe I'll stay right here. I think at some point I want a man in my life, but not today. I guess the only rhing I really wish for Right now is for my daughter to be healthy. She has MS. I wish for us to reconcile soon.
We've been estranged for about a year now. This has been going on for several years and it's because she's not in a good marriage. I wish for my grandchildren to be okay and happy and healthy. If she could be healthy and th children okay, I'd give up everything!

Judy

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by judy

A good marriage! What a wonderful thing. I have quite a few friends with good marriages, and it's a real blessing. I don't think I could be close with someone who is in a bad marriage anymore. That's one of the amazing benefits about being 60 and retired - you get to choose things you didn't know you had a right to choose before.

What do I wish for? I'm not sure. I'm pretty happy right now having just retired from teaching in November. I'm still in transition so I'm not sure where I'm headed.
Maybe I'll go live in Costa Rica or maybe I'll stay right here. I think at some point I want a man in my life, but not today. I guess the only rhing I really wish for Right now is for my daughter to be healthy. She has MS. I wish for us to reconcile soon.
We've been estranged for about a year now. This has been going on for several years and it's because she's not in a good marriage. I wish for my grandchildren to be okay and happy and healthy. If she could be healthy and th children okay, I'd give up everything!

Judy

Wow! I'm so sorry about your daughter Judy. MS is such a scary thing to have to deal with. I hope you are able to reconcile very soon.

It sounds like you know where you are going with your new free time. That's great!! Costa Rica is beautiful. Do you speak Spanish? Es mi especialidad de la universidad y me gusta muchisimo. Voy a viajar a Mexico este verano.

Good luck!

[Janet]

Sorry to hear your daughter has MS. I hope she is coping real good. Some are able to handle the varying degrees of MS differently.

I'm 52 and not quite ready to retire yet, but I look forward to it. I've worked all my life and even though driving a school bus isn't much work, I'm ready to be able to do what I want, when I want and not have to watch a clock.

I would love to have a motor home when I retire just to travel a bit. But I'd need to be able to take my Yorkies with me..couldn't stand to leave them.

[Chandra Amaya]

Judy its so sweet of you to be willing to give up everything for your daughter's & grandchildren's health & happiness. Maybe try sending a card to her saying how much you care & not mentioning the marriage at all? It must be so hard not to be able to talk to her or spend time with your grandchildren. *hugs*

[Marilyn]

Judy, it's great to get to know you. Hope your wishes do come true and that your daughter copes with her situation as best that she can, and that you can reconcile very soon.