I'm so moody!!!!!!!!!!

[Janet]

I know one piece of advice I should have followed and that is: Don't let those feelings fester. Be sure you keep the lines of communication open and when he starts being a pain...don't wait and hold it in....use it as an example of what you've been trying to explain to him.

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by toodles

Thank you all for your encouragement. I agree, we really need to have more fun together. We both work for ourselves but our companies are intertwined so we just need to get away from it all and have some fun.

thanks again!!!!!!!! I feel a little better today. I will talk to him today about coming up with some ideas.

I'm so glad you are feeling better Toodles! Your husband is a lucky guy to be married to you.

[toodles]

Originally Posted by AngieDoogles

I'm so glad you are feeling better Toodles! Your husband is a lucky guy to be married to you.

awww...thanks

you are all right, I will just need to talk to him. and I will. just have to make sure the timing is ok...otherwise it will be a nightmare

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by toodles

awww...thanks

you are all right, I will just need to talk to him. and I will. just have to make sure the timing is ok...otherwise it will be a nightmare

Good luck, Toodles! I'm sure everything will go smoothly.

[Mandy]

Take a few deep breaths, and talk to him Toodles, remind yourself that if you stay calm, you will solve the most. Good luck, we are here for you!

[Ponyup]

This is my experience, the 1st 18 months i was married it seemed like me & my husband were just off. It was like we couldn't agree on anything & everything was not the way I thought it should be. And then one day everything was fine. I don't know what happened. Maybe I finally let go of my preconceived notions of what marriage should be or maybe I gave up on trying to control everything & just went with the flow or maybe I just got used to him. But whatever it was things were awesome after.

We still hit rough patches. I had one two years ago where I was sure I wasn't in love with him anymore, I couldn't stand to look at him. He didn't do anything wrong it was just how I was feeling. I'd been having this feeling for a month & a half when I finally decided to tell him. I went to a friends house to stall & when I came home prepared to tell him I wanted out; everything was fine. I can't explain it, but I looked at him & knew I loved him & that everything would be okay.

These type of feeling happen & you can't explain what's happened to make you feel this way, but you just do. These feeling do pass. You are not alone. If you can't pinpoint exactly whats bothering you then it's probably just fear & anxiety. Try & concentrate on all the wonderful things he does to show he cares. It will make you realize how lucky you are. Also doing nice things for him may make you feel better too.

[toodles]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

This is my experience, the 1st 18 months i was married it seemed like me & my husband were just off. It was like we couldn't agree on anything & everything was not the way I thought it should be. And then one day everything was fine. I don't know what happened. Maybe I finally let go of my preconceived notions of what marriage should be or maybe I gave up on trying to control everything & just went with the flow or maybe I just got used to him. But whatever it was things were awesome after.

We still hit rough patches. I had one two years ago where I was sure I wasn't in love with him anymore, I couldn't stand to look at him. He didn't do anything wrong it was just how I was feeling. I'd been having this feeling for a month & a half when I finally decided to tell him. I went to a friends house to stall & when I came home prepared to tell him I wanted out; everything was fine. I can't explain it, but I looked at him & knew I loved him & that everything would be okay.

These type of feeling happen & you can't explain what's happened to make you feel this way, but you just do. These feeling do pass. You are not alone. If you can't pinpoint exactly whats bothering you then it's probably just fear & anxiety. Try & concentrate on all the wonderful things he does to show he cares. It will make you realize how lucky you are. Also doing nice things for him may make you feel better too.

this is really great advice. glad I am not alone thank you so much for the encouragement. I do love him...but I have these times when I just can't stand to be around him. sounds like you have been there. I appreciate the kind words...I am sure it will all be fine. I am sure I will get used to the things that bother me now.

NOW...about him smacking his food. That, I CANNOT handle. oye...i have some training to do LOL

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by toodles

this is really great advice. glad I am not alone thank you so much for the encouragement. I do love him...but I have these times when I just can't stand to be around him. sounds like you have been there. I appreciate the kind words...I am sure it will all be fine. I am sure I will get used to the things that bother me now.

NOW...about him smacking his food. That, I CANNOT handle. oye...i have some training to do LOL

I always found trades work really well in these situations. Tell him that it really bothers you & see if he can be more mindful. Then ask if there anything you could for him.

However, this might be one of those things you just have to get used to. My husband has this aweful habit of looking at me like I have 3 heads if I don't use the exact right word for something or if I'm recounting a story & I say there were like 500 people there he'll say well it was actually only 495. He knows it drives me up a wall, but he just can't help it; it's part of him, so it may just be something you will have to learn to deal with.

[toodles]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I always found trades work really well in these situations. Tell him that it really bothers you & see if he can be more mindful. Then ask if there anything you could for him.

However, this might be one of those things you just have to get used to. My husband has this aweful habit of looking at me like I have 3 heads if I don't use the exact right word for something or if I'm recounting a story & I say there were like 500 people there he'll say well it was actually only 495. He knows it drives me up a wall, but he just can't help it; it's part of him, so it may just be something you will have to learn to deal with.

we have discussed the food smacking many times and he has asked me to just let him know when he is doing it and he will stop. but dinner time is alwas fun time for us and I hate to ruin it with "honey, you're smacking". just seems like it would ruin his mood. make sense? tonight, at the dinner table, I said "from now on, I'm eating in the living room". He said "why??" I said "because between you and my 6 year old smacking your food, it sounds like a barn in here". he just laughed...but he stopped smacking

i made it like a joke but i was totally serious. I want to say "i will eat in the living room and when the 2 of you learn to eat with your mouth closed, I will come and join you". but that might be a bit harsh, ya think???

it is just so gross to me. and he is the world's worst about shoveling a ton of food in his mouth before he talks. it's like he can't talk without food in his mouth. we will be carrying on a conversation and in the middle of his sentences, he has to take a break to shovel in the food. UGH!!!!!!!!!!! he says he was just raised to "hurry up and eat" but he is 32 years old...he should realize by now that there is no rush...take your time. i think this has a lot to do with why he gaines so much weight...i find if I take my time eating, I get full faster and with less food. he eats so incredibly fast that it is like his body doesn't have the time to realize that food is being taken in. and by the time he is finished, he is so overly stuffed.

ok...i keep going off in 15 directions....sorry thanks for letting me vent

[AngieDoogles]

Originally Posted by toodles

we have discussed the food smacking many times and he has asked me to just let him know when he is doing it and he will stop. but dinner time is alwas fun time for us and I hate to ruin it with "honey, you're smacking". just seems like it would ruin his mood. make sense? tonight, at the dinner table, I said "from now on, I'm eating in the living room". He said "why??" I said "because between you and my 6 year old smacking your food, it sounds like a barn in here". he just laughed...but he stopped smacking

i made it like a joke but i was totally serious. I want to say "i will eat in the living room and when the 2 of you learn to eat with your mouth closed, I will come and join you". but that might be a bit harsh, ya think???

it is just so gross to me. and he is the world's worst about shoveling a ton of food in his mouth before he talks. it's like he can't talk without food in his mouth. we will be carrying on a conversation and in the middle of his sentences, he has to take a break to shovel in the food. UGH!!!!!!!!!!! he says he was just raised to "hurry up and eat" but he is 32 years old...he should realize by now that there is no rush...take your time. i think this has a lot to do with why he gaines so much weight...i find if I take my time eating, I get full faster and with less food. he eats so incredibly fast that it is like his body doesn't have the time to realize that food is being taken in. and by the time he is finished, he is so overly stuffed.

ok...i keep going off in 15 directions....sorry thanks for letting me vent

I think, in all cases, being open and honest about how you feel will get you much better results than just hoping it will change. So I'm glad you've taken that step. It will also deepen your relationship and lead the way to better conversations. Anyway, my point is, he can't fix something unless he is thinking about it when it's happening. If he isn't thinking about smacking his food, he'll still do it, but if you gently remind him a few times, he'll think about it and he will probably learn to stop. Good luck!

[Ponyup]

Originally Posted by toodles

we have discussed the food smacking many times and he has asked me to just let him know when he is doing it and he will stop. but dinner time is alwas fun time for us and I hate to ruin it with "honey, you're smacking". just seems like it would ruin his mood. make sense? tonight, at the dinner table, I said "from now on, I'm eating in the living room". He said "why??" I said "because between you and my 6 year old smacking your food, it sounds like a barn in here". he just laughed...but he stopped smacking

i made it like a joke but i was totally serious. I want to say "i will eat in the living room and when the 2 of you learn to eat with your mouth closed, I will come and join you". but that might be a bit harsh, ya think???

it is just so gross to me. and he is the world's worst about shoveling a ton of food in his mouth before he talks. it's like he can't talk without food in his mouth. we will be carrying on a conversation and in the middle of his sentences, he has to take a break to shovel in the food. UGH!!!!!!!!!!! he says he was just raised to "hurry up and eat" but he is 32 years old...he should realize by now that there is no rush...take your time. i think this has a lot to do with why he gaines so much weight...i find if I take my time eating, I get full faster and with less food. he eats so incredibly fast that it is like his body doesn't have the time to realize that food is being taken in. and by the time he is finished, he is so overly stuffed.

ok...i keep going off in 15 directions....sorry thanks for letting me vent

I've read several articles that state if you eat fast you will not realize your full & overeat. Try to find one of these articles on the internet & print it out for him. As far as the talking with his mouth full & smacking is food. I'm sure these are habits you would rather your six year old did not pick up. Tell him when he does this he's setting a bad example for the 6-year old. Make him a deal that you will give him a nudge under the table when he's doing these things (not a kick) that way you don't make a sceen in front of your child. And of course you have every right to tell your child not to do it, once you get your husband under control.

I'm not confrontational so when something bothers me I try to address it in a joking fashion also. If he knows you at all he should get that you are very serious.

[DianaB]

If you find something that makes them quit smacking let me know about it. My husband (of 32 years) has started doing this. It's about to drive me crazy! I say things but he doesn't take it serious enough to make a mental note not to do it again.

And smacking gum!!!! I actually forbid him to EVER chew gum when we are in the Tahoe! Every time he sticks a piece in I tell myself that I can make it to town (about 7 miles=10 minutes), but before we get there I'm ready to strangle him!!!! He thinks that my ultimatum about not having gum in the car is funny, but I'm dead serious!!! If you ever read of my husband's death you'll know that he was chewing gum in the car with me and smacking!!!!!!

[toodles]

Originally Posted by DianaB

If you find something that makes them quit smacking let me know about it. My husband (of 32 years) has started doing this. It's about to drive me crazy! I say things but he doesn't take it serious enough to make a mental note not to do it again.

And smacking gum!!!! I actually forbid him to EVER chew gum when we are in the Tahoe! Every time he sticks a piece in I tell myself that I can make it to town (about 7 miles=10 minutes), but before we get there I'm ready to strangle him!!!! He thinks that my ultimatum about not having gum in the car is funny, but I'm dead serious!!! If you ever read of my husband's death you'll know that he was chewing gum in the car with me and smacking!!!!!!

LOL I am totally with you on this one!!! I will let you know if I find a solution LOL

[Mandy]

Tell them, you will smack them if they start smacking - jk LOL

My friend's husband also smacks, and she hates it. It embaresses her, specially when there are other people.

[Gina]

First I like to welcome you Toodles to 4wt, I haven't been on as much as I like to.
All the lovely ladies have given you good advice. If I may add my two cents lol. Janet has hit it on the head. Don't let you feelings feister, you must communicate. The first year is an adjustment period, if I could think back that far lol. But if you keep your feelings bottled up over the years you will explode and your loving feelings will turn to animosity. Go to counciling now, try to connect , remember the reasons that united the both of you. His eating habits are getting on your nerves, it is a normal feeling , he can work on that, I think its more than that. If everything bothers you. You need to speak to someone alone, if you don't want to go to a marriage counselor.

My nephew got married this past Oct. and they lived together for a year also. She moved out of the house almost a mt. ago and now she is talking about divorcing. My nephew suggested marriage counciling but she wouldn't budge. Now he wants to go on with the divorce, and she is crying the woes. I don't know what is going to happen there, he is a good looking guy and everyone tells him, if you make an attempt at it, do not have children for awhile. Shame people live together and things changes when they get married.

Good luck!