Now I feel like the worst mother who was ever born!

judy · 05-03-2008, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

Judy...it sounds really nice, just be sure it's what YOU really want to do.

I think I want to move to Tahiti and lie on a beach chair for the rest of my life!

Janet · 05-03-2008, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by judy

I think I want to move to Tahiti and lie on a beach chair for the rest of my life!

I wanna come live with you!

goofywife · 05-03-2008, 04:48 PM

Can I come too!

Quote:

Originally Posted by judy

I think I want to move to Tahiti and lie on a beach chair for the rest of my life!

Janet · 05-03-2008, 04:49 PM

Okay everyone...we're moving to Judy's new place!

I've got my stuff...BeachGearCE1.jpg

Marilyn · 05-04-2008, 04:42 AM

Judy, please don't rush into anything right now when emotions are running so high. As Janet said, please make sure it is what YOU want. You are the one who will have to live there. Perhaps you could rent for a little while to "try it out" and see if it's a fit before making such a hugh committment. Be sure you are close to competant medical facilities also. We love you!!!

judy · 05-04-2008, 08:10 AM

You're all right! I really don't know where I'll end up living. I do like this place though. I'm going to try to attach some pix.

Tink · 05-04-2008, 11:09 AM

Judy, we devote many years to raising our kids. Willingly give up our time and space and often our dreams to provide for them the best that we can. I'm sure you did this, and know I have.

There does come a time when we deserve to live for ourselves though. For you and I, that time has come. Please don't let her or anyone else guilt you into giving up the freedom you've earned. Setting boundaries can be hard, and our kids always know which buttons to push to make us feel that we owe them more... but that doesn't make it true.

I think too that it sounds like you need to take a break from decisions until you truly know where you want to be. You don't have to decide today... and it seems it might be better if you don't!

Several years ago my oldest dd asked us to move about an hr away to help her with her oldest while she worked and went to school. Since I worked from home, Greg drove semi, and I was homeschooling Joel and Katie, it didn't matter a lot where we lived, so we decided to do it We bought a house about 2 miles from them and for a while it was ok. What we didn't realize was that the little town we'd moved to was very unfriendly, seemed like a Peyton Place with drinking, drugs, affairs and so on just rampant. We didn't fit in or like it at all.

About a yr after we moved there, my daughter and her husband got a deal they couldn't refuse and moved away! So there were were in a place we didn't like, with no reason to be there and quite unhappy. I was too far from them to be helping with my grand daughter anymore and we were stuck in a place we did not fit in or like.

We did end up moving back "home" but our lives were quite negatively affected by having moved there. If we had known before what we knew after, we'd never have gone.

I hope you can avoid making a similar mistake.

HUGS

Chandra Amaya · 05-04-2008, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by judy

You're all right! I really don't know where I'll end up living. I do like this place though. I'm going to try to attach some pix.

got an extra room?

Janet · 05-04-2008, 01:51 PM

The top picture was big enough to see and it's lovely. The mountains in the back so pretty. I couldn't enlarge the 3 bottom pictures.

Mandy · 05-05-2008, 12:37 AM

Aye Judy, i just read your posts, what a challenge huh - now listen gf, your are NOT a bad mother/grandmother, a LOT of other girls would give the world to have a mom like you.
I totally understand you, do yourself a favor, and follow your heart! make absoluty sure that this is what you want, be fair to yourself!

Forgivenmom5 · 05-05-2008, 01:39 AM

The place looks beautiful Judy. Like everyone said just make sure you will be happy.

DianaB · 05-05-2008, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janet

The top picture was big enough to see and it's lovely. The mountains in the back so pretty. I couldn't enlarge the 3 bottom pictures.

The appartment looks lovely, but I couldn't tell much from the smaller pictures either. I agree with everyone else about taking your time. A heated pool would be wonderful though!!!

Janet · 05-05-2008, 09:05 AM

I just want you to be happy Judy!!

teri88 · 05-05-2008, 10:30 AM

Don't feel like a bad mother. If you didn't love your daughter, then I'd say you were a bad mother, but you do love her. I think, and I hope you don't take this wrong, but I think she needs to grow up. It is not normal for a mother to put her grown daughter first and be there every minute that she wants her to be. That just doesn't sound right to me. You need to take care of yourself. She is a big girl now and needs to work out her own problems. I'll keep you both in my prayers.

Chandra Amaya · 05-06-2008, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by teri88

Don't feel like a bad mother. If you didn't love your daughter, then I'd say you were a bad mother, but you do love her. I think, and I hope you don't take this wrong, but I think she needs to grow up. It is not normal for a mother to put her grown daughter first and be there every minute that she wants her to be. That just doesn't sound right to me. You need to take care of yourself. She is a big girl now and needs to work out her own problems. I'll keep you both in my prayers.

05-03-2008, 04:49 PM	#4
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	Okay everyone...we're moving to Judy's new place! I've got my stuff...BeachGearCE1.jpg __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1 Last edited by Janet; 05-03-2008 at 04:51 PM.

05-04-2008, 04:42 AM	#5
Marilyn Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: South Texas Posts: 4,907	Judy, please don't rush into anything right now when emotions are running so high. As Janet said, please make sure it is what YOU want. You are the one who will have to live there. Perhaps you could rent for a little while to "try it out" and see if it's a fit before making such a hugh committment. Be sure you are close to competant medical facilities also. We love you!!! __________________ Marilyn If anyone would like a free Bible Study CD or book entitled "Searching for Truth", PM me with your mailing address and I'll send you one. "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

05-04-2008, 11:09 AM	#7
Tink Donating 4WT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Rural Wisconsin Posts: 3,707	Judy, we devote many years to raising our kids. Willingly give up our time and space and often our dreams to provide for them the best that we can. I'm sure you did this, and know I have. There does come a time when we deserve to live for ourselves though. For you and I, that time has come. Please don't let her or anyone else guilt you into giving up the freedom you've earned. Setting boundaries can be hard, and our kids always know which buttons to push to make us feel that we owe them more... but that doesn't make it true. I think too that it sounds like you need to take a break from decisions until you truly know where you want to be. You don't have to decide today... and it seems it might be better if you don't! Several years ago my oldest dd asked us to move about an hr away to help her with her oldest while she worked and went to school. Since I worked from home, Greg drove semi, and I was homeschooling Joel and Katie, it didn't matter a lot where we lived, so we decided to do it We bought a house about 2 miles from them and for a while it was ok. What we didn't realize was that the little town we'd moved to was very unfriendly, seemed like a Peyton Place with drinking, drugs, affairs and so on just rampant. We didn't fit in or like it at all. About a yr after we moved there, my daughter and her husband got a deal they couldn't refuse and moved away! So there were were in a place we didn't like, with no reason to be there and quite unhappy. I was too far from them to be helping with my grand daughter anymore and we were stuck in a place we did not fit in or like. We did end up moving back "home" but our lives were quite negatively affected by having moved there. If we had known before what we knew after, we'd never have gone. I hope you can avoid making a similar mistake. HUGS __________________ 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in.. And how many want out.' England 's Prime Minister Tony Blair'

05-04-2008, 01:51 PM	#9
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	The top picture was big enough to see and it's lovely. The mountains in the back so pretty. I couldn't enlarge the 3 bottom pictures. __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

05-05-2008, 12:37 AM	#10
Mandy Donating 4WT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Who cares! Posts: 4,587	Aye Judy, i just read your posts, what a challenge huh - now listen gf, your are NOT a bad mother/grandmother, a LOT of other girls would give the world to have a mom like you. I totally understand you, do yourself a favor, and follow your heart! make absoluty sure that this is what you want, be fair to yourself! __________________ Many people will walk in and out your life, but only true friends leave footprints!

05-05-2008, 01:39 AM	#11
Forgivenmom5 4WT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,409	The place looks beautiful Judy. Like everyone said just make sure you will be happy. __________________ ~Debbie~

05-05-2008, 09:05 AM	#13
Janet Moderator Donating 4WT 18K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: INDIANA Posts: 21,625	I just want you to be happy Judy!! __________________ To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ECCLESIASTES 3:1

05-05-2008, 10:30 AM	#14
teri88 Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: New Jersey Posts: 808	Don't feel like a bad mother. If you didn't love your daughter, then I'd say you were a bad mother, but you do love her. I think, and I hope you don't take this wrong, but I think she needs to grow up. It is not normal for a mother to put her grown daughter first and be there every minute that she wants her to be. That just doesn't sound right to me. You need to take care of yourself. She is a big girl now and needs to work out her own problems. I'll keep you both in my prayers. __________________ TERI Of course I'm in shape. Isn't round a shape?

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