abusive relationship help

[pope1982]

Lastly, if you guys are getting on each others nerves to that point, go for a walk or a drive. Don't stand there in each others faces having a pissing contest because I have seen people say and do some pretty stupid things when they are infuriated.

[Janet]

Hi and welcome to 4WT. You're going to find the greatest of all women here who honestly do their best to try and help when asked.

Now..my advice.... First: read and re-read Tinks advice. Next..don't..please don't bring any children into this relationship until it is 100% turned around. Kids have a hard enough time and then to see their parents fighting, physically and verbally. Like Dr. Phil says...it totally changes who they are.

Personally...I'd put on my running shoes.

I do wish you the very best in whatever you decide, but please don't think you couldn't make it alone or with someone else...your inner strength will surprise you.

[Ponyup]

Does he really want help? If he honestly wants help, then the 2 of you could maybe try therapy. But in my honest opinion from what you've said I'm not sure your relationship is worth it. You need to decide what you want to be surrounded by for the rest of your life. My husband & I enjoy each other, we are best friends & hardly ever fight. This is what I want. My brother & his wife bicker & fight constantly (no physical violence though) they seem to thrive off it, they like it. I would be miserable in a relationship like that, but it works for them. I think anger management or therapy might help, but I think you both need to go. And you need to examine if you really love him & if he really loves you. Maybe deep down you like the drama or you're afraid of being alone. In my HONEST opinion if you love someone no matter what they do you would never physically harm them. I would never ever hurt my husband in anger & he would never ever hurt me. If you love someone you do not what to cause them pain or harm, in my opinion.

[DianaB]

You've admitted that you and this guy have had problems from the very beginning. I think that it's time to move on. You deserve someone who treasures you and treats you like you deserve to be treated.

You mentioned that you come from a "broken family" and I'm sure you don't want to repeat this in your own life and relationships. You need to start making GOOD choices NOW. I can tell you what I think you should do but ultimately you have to make the choices. And like I said GOOD CHOICES. Choices that you make with your head.....not your heart. These are decisions that will affect you for the rest of your life and you need to choose carefully. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, only consider what is right for you.

Originally Posted by DianaB

You've admitted that you and this guy have had problems from the very beginning. I think that it's time to move on. You deserve someone who treasures you and treats you like you deserve to be treated.

You mentioned that you come from a "broken family" and I'm sure you don't want to repeat this in your own life and relationships. You need to start making GOOD choices NOW. I can tell you what I think you should do but ultimately you have to make the choices. And like I said GOOD CHOICES. Choices that you make with your head.....not your heart. These are decisions that will affect you for the rest of your life and you need to choose carefully. Don't worry about hurting his feelings, only consider what is right for you.

thank you diana.. i will keep this in mind !

[HALEY]

Take Gina's advice please, run like hell, it only gets worse when you get married.. trust me on this issue... they only change for awhile to suit your wants and there right back to where they started from in the beginning!!!
Your single with no kids!!! Walk away, there are so many nice single men out there you will find another one to take his place.
there is my 2 cents and i'm getting off this thread....

My opinion is that, no matter what anyone tells you or shares with you here, you are going to make excuses for him and yourself. I think you both need counseling..PRONTO!

You sound very immature, so as another poster advised, do not bring babies into your life until you've grown up and figured out that it's not OK to hit anyone ever for any reason (unless of course you are defending yourself against a physical attack) No excuses. I don't see how you can't understand that. Until you do, you don't need to be in any relationship.

He sounds like a ticking time bomb and the next time it might be worse! As long as you keep making excuses and don't do anything to change the situation, nothing will change. You're in for a lot of grief.