I am so tired.

[katcarasella]

I cannot function anymore, I want to sell this house and go to an assisted living community. I don't have the energy to clean, bath or eat. All I do anymore is sleep and avoid people. God, I hate living alone!!!!
There, I said it maybe now I won't feel like throwing a chair threw the window to get this rage out of my system.
How can I have a Happy Mothers Day when my Mom is DEAD!!!
I AM SO MAD. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!

[Chandra Amaya]

awww, Kat! I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I really don't know what to say, but I am here and I have shoulders to cry on and ears to listen. ALWAYS. *hugs*

[Chandra Amaya]

we love you

[Janet]

Kat, I hate that you're feeling good emotionally or physically. I'm ready to go to the assisted living place with you girlfriend...wanna be roomies?

I'm not making light of it all Kat, you know I love ya, but sometimes we get into these slumps and we have to do what I call 'practice' or 'fake' our way out of it. When we get in these slumps, their easy. But to get up, put on a smile, walk out the door takes work...so we have to 'practice' doing it everyday until it becomes habit again. Sometimes we just have to fake being happy until it no longer becomes fake, because we have learned to surround ourselves with people we like being with and it starts feeling natural again.

I'm right there with you right now Kat...the last week or so haven't been the greatest. So I go out in public and try to practice being happy again. I really do hate for you to feel this way, because I know how bad it hurts.

Love ya girlfriend!!

[Forgivenmom5]

I am so sorry Kat. You have had a really tough year and anyone would have trouble coping. I really had to push myself to go on sometimes during treatment. Pamper yourself for a while try to think of your wonderful daughters and grandchildren that love you and know that we love you very much here too. Let us know if we can help in any way.

[katcarasella]

Thanks Traci and Janet......... I'm truly grateful, but I'm so tired of faking it ALL the time..
I finally have everything I've ever wanted or needed and I'm still miserable and I don't know why......My poor kids think I'm losing my mind and I love them so much it hurts.
Why can't I be happy with alll the blessings I have?
I'm so screwed up.

[katcarasella]

Originally Posted by Forgivenmom5

I am so sorry Kat. You have had a really tough year and anyone would have trouble coping. I really had to push myself to go on sometimes during treatment. Pamper yourself for a while try to think of your wonderful daughters and grandchildren that love you and know that we love you very much here too. Let us know if we can help in any way.

Thank You Debbie, and please don't worry about me, How are you feeling today sweetie?

[Forgivenmom5]

Originally Posted by katcarasella

Thank You Debbie, and please don't worry about me, How are you feeling today sweetie?

I am tired today. Sat in the doctor's office for 2 hours yesterday and then had to go by work to check on insurance. Tuesday night I got to go see my ten year old's ballet performance. She had to be there early so Angie and Brendon took her and then Brendon came back to get me so I didn't have to sit so long. It was just all a little much after not doing anything.

I will always worry about you. We love you and you are a great friend. Don't think bad of yourself. I don't think anyone could go through what you have and not be upset and sad. It takes a lot of time to heal.

[deb22]

I'm sorry Kat. I often worry about you when I can't find you on here. But you can always find me if you need me.

[katcarasella]

Thank you Deb and Debbie.

[Dobie]

I'm sorry that you're feeling down.

This might be a good time for you to start planning the trip to Rhode Island to visit your friends in Warwick. A change of scenery might do you good.

[goofywife]

Kat, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I have to deal with people all day long. There are some days when I go home and say "I'm done". Then I go look at the bills and come back to reality. I go to work and look at my best friend and everything she is going through and count my blessings. Hang in there girl, hug the kids, fur and human. Pull your head out of the ho drums and go do something good for yourself.

I think you may need to add more to your life to fill the voids. Have you thought about reading for kids at the library or volunteering at church? Maybe at a pet rescue shelter (thats what my Mom has done since my Dad died 2 years ago).

[katcarasella]

Dobie and Michelle, you're right I have to pull myself out of my pity pot and do something to make a difference. Before Pete died I used to read to some blind Vets at the VA hospital, that always gave me such a feeling of joy to see them smile. I donate to the local pet rescue, but I know if I helped out at the shelter I'd end up adopting more than I could handle. It is a good idea though, Thanks.

[Janet]

Originally Posted by Janet

Kat, I hate that you're NOT feeling good emotionally or physically. I'm ready to go to the assisted living place with you girlfriend...wanna be roomies?

I'm not making light of it all Kat, you know I love ya, but sometimes we get into these slumps and we have to do what I call 'practice' or 'fake' our way out of it. When we get in these slumps, their easy. But to get up, put on a smile, walk out the door takes work...so we have to 'practice' doing it everyday until it becomes habit again. Sometimes we just have to fake being happy until it no longer becomes fake, because we have learned to surround ourselves with people we like being with and it starts feeling natural again.

I'm right there with you right now Kat...the last week or so haven't been the greatest. So I go out in public and try to practice being happy again. I really do hate for you to feel this way, because I know how bad it hurts.

Love ya girlfriend!!

I guess I should proof read...duh!

[Janet]

I think with all the love you have to give, I'd go hold the babies at the hospital. How cool would that be????