sexless relationships

[Janet]

That was good advice Michelle, really sweet.

[judy]

Great advice Michelle, and I'm so happy for you that your daughter turned it around.

I'm looking for a new love after my 2nd divorce - so third time is a charm?

Good for you.

[HALEY]

Its a very hard dicision that i have to make, no matter what i decide it's going to effect Micah either way, that's the hardest part, if it was just me, i would have already been out of this marriage, i'm sick of spending my hard earned money on making the house look nice while he sits on his ass, he is a hard worker but that's about it, when he comes home he wants to sit out in the garage all night, that's not going to fly with me! Just yesterday i snapped on him, i took the baby over my mothers for 2 hours and all i asked him to do is run the sweaper and fold a load of clothes to help me out! And he did nothing but run over the neighbors house and drink beer! I had it... i'm not his mother or his maid... Im just sick of carrying him if you know what i mean.... He still says he's getting an apartment when he gets his drivers lisc. back, i told him don't let the door hit you in the ass!
Right now i really don't care if he leaves.. I have my son to worry about and he will be taken care of! I already talked to my mom this weekend, and she told me to do what i feel is right. and she will help me out if i need her too.. But i rather get another job than to depend on my mother i'm stronger than that! Whatever i decide i'll do it on my own, that's something i like about me, i'm not affraid to be alone.. What the hell i feel alone in this marriage now! I always survived before with God's help and i know i can do it again.

[judy]

Haley,

You do not have to decide right now if you're not ready. One day at a time, until you're absolutely sure about what you feel is the right thing to do.

Only you can make that decision, so listen to your own heart. There really is no right or wrong decision. Mike is not abusing you or Micah. If that were so, I would say to run.

Not to change your feelings or persuade you, but my SIL went from being a rather nasty alcoholic to a sober, wonderful husband and father. That doesn't mean that Mike will do the same. It also doesn't mean that my SIL will always be able to stay sober. All it really means is that my daughter's heart told her to stay. I don't know
what went into that decision. It was hers to make, and I respect her for it.

Whatever you do, we're all here to support you.

[Ponyup]

Do you still love your husband? Does he love you? It really sounds like he doesn't love you, but i'm not there. If you love someone & they ask you to do or not do something you'll do it because you love them. Or have a very good reason why you can't. It sounds to me like your hubby doesn't want to grow up & be responsible. He's running away from you & his life because it's too much for his immature mind to handle. You can't force men to grow up; I've tried so many times in my life. I guess sit him down & tell him that if he's willing to work with you; you are willing to make compromises so you both get what you need. However, the way it sounds is he's already thrown in the towell. He no longer cares for you or his child & wants to go back to his care free ways. However, the situation dictates that he needs to mooch off of you until he gets his ducks in a row. I wouldn't let him; he either needs to be a part of the marriage & help you out or get out. There's no reason to continue to beat yourself up & try to make things work when it seems he's already made up his mind that it's over (the fact that he says he's moving out once he gets his license back, makes me think he's done). Marriage takes work from both sides not just one.

[HALEY]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

Do you still love your husband? Does he love you? It really sounds like he doesn't love you, but i'm not there. If you love someone & they ask you to do or not do something you'll do it because you love them. Or have a very good reason why you can't. It sounds to me like your hubby doesn't want to grow up & be responsible. He's running away from you & his life because it's too much for his immature mind to handle. You can't force men to grow up; I've tried so many times in my life. I guess sit him down & tell him that if he's willing to work with you; you are willing to make compromises so you both get what you need. However, the way it sounds is he's already thrown in the towell. He no longer cares for you or his child & wants to go back to his care free ways. However, the situation dictates that he needs to mooch off of you until he gets his ducks in a row. I wouldn't let him; he either needs to be a part of the marriage & help you out or get out. There's no reason to continue to beat yourself up & try to make things work when it seems he's already made up his mind that it's over (the fact that he says he's moving out once he gets his license back, makes me think he's done). Marriage takes work from both sides not just one.

I think your right, i paid all his DUI fines (4,000), borrowed money off my mother for his back taxes from heartship loans (6,000), and him crashing the company vechicle (they didn't know he lost his lisc. at the time- thank God the lady he hit didn't call the police - long story! ) 3,000.. All of this was my money and my family's. I am now trying to build my savings back up so we would have extra money incase something comes up.. But he does need to grow up.
One thing i know he does loves his son. At least he admits to that. I don't think he loves me anymore and i'll deal with that for the time being, i have broad shoulders i can take it... But I'm not living like this for too much longer! We'll see what happens when he gets his lisc. back.( Aug. 8th) I already told him i'm not stopping him from leaving but once he leaves he's NOT coming back, i don't believe in second chances..